Discipline and punishment

discipline and punishmentDiscipline and punishment is a difficult area in a loving FLR. I have a marriage based on love and the implicit agreement of the transfer of power to one person: me. So this gives me challenges.

I employ discipline and punishment to make it work as an FLR but I  differentiate between them.

I must add before I explain  that my views on this area are merely my own opinions based on what I have found works for me.

Discipline vs Punishment in my FLR

In my own world of femdom and FLR discipline is the method I use to maintain control in the relationship and punishment is the penalty mechansism I use when Alice shows a lack of discipline. Punishment is often physical but may also be non-physical, a withdrawal of certain rights for example. Discipline is all about the rules and behaviours I expect which cement my authority but may also involve physical spanking.

Let me explain what I’m getting at by looking at each of the two areas separately.

How I use Discipline in my FLR

So my discipline is based on Alice following my rules. Obviously the over-arching rule is that I am in charge and my decision is final. In practice our loving FLR has dialogue and even some negotiation. Alice is an intelligent girl so can have opinions and ideas as well.  I’ll look at each of my main discipline rules.

  1. Enforced feminisation. Alice has to be a girl. I know many FLRs and femdom discipline and punishmentrelationships don’t use feminisation but this is discipline rule number one for me. I expect her in female ‘wear’ at all times at home,  female underwear outside and to have a female beauty regime. When I say female ‘wear’, I may actually want her naked for the day or evening but she has to wear high heels, wig and have her face and nails made up as a minimum. Maintaining this discipline establishes my authority and control since Alice never actually wanted to be a girl although she has become accustomed to it over time. It accentuates her submissiveness and it’s a great discipline for her to take care of herself. Much of the female lifestyle has now become ingrained in her day to day life without any need for me to get involved.
  2. Demonstrate respect. Alice must always show respect to me as the authority figure. This discipline involves curtseying, maintaining the home as a housewife, kneeling before me, massaging and washing my feet after a hard day and so on. She must always call me Mistress. I consider that her using my first name is disrespectful. The area of respect is what makes an FLR so rewarding to any alpha lady like me.
  3. Maintenance spankings. This discipline enforces the difference in status. She has to drop her knickers, raise her skirt and bend over. I used to put her over my knee but I can’t get such as good swing so I prefer her on all fours. I use hand, crop or wooden spatula. Besides being a necessary discipline I do so enjoy it. There’s something about the feeling of power when spanking a naughty girly husband.
  4. Clitty control and feminisation. Males think their little willies are so important and masculine so it’s necessary to have this discipline to demonstrate that it’s insignificant. It’s the final element to ensure removal of nasty masculine traits once you’ve feminised him. I renamed it a clitty a long time ago and the whole area is her pussy. I ask Alice to tell me who owns it and tell me how feminine it is, especially with a cure little triangle of pubic hair. I’ve recently and belatedly come round to the benefits of a cock cage to further diminish it.

discipline and punishmentHow I use Punishment in my FLR

Alice isn’t a bad girl but at times she does forget that things aren’t equal in our relationship. I don’t punish  her a whole lot these days as my discipline regime seems to work, on the whole. If I do feel that punishment is needed it could range from her having to stand in the corner, being made to sit on the floor and removing her clothing through to actual spanking. I do tend to spank that much harder if it’s for punishment and I may even spank or slap without warning. Without-warning spanks will be on her bum, legs, clitty/pussy or occasionally around her face. I never kick but I do hit her with my open hand on her clitty through her knickers if she’s been naughty, usually talking back to me or making excuses.

Generally I prefer to inform her that she’s been bad and tell her to get the wooden spoon or spatula or crop and then she has to present her bared bum for punishment.

Discipline and punishment work together

I prefer to focus on discipline to make our FLR work smoothly. As a happily married couple, our FLR provides the framework for our daily lives. As the leader it falls on me to make sure that we don’t stray from the discipline rules that make it work successfully. Alice may moan at times but fully accepts that in the end that I’m right to operate it the way I do.

Discipline and punishment is a difficult area in a loving relationship but it’s necessary in an FLR to enforce the transfer of power to the lady of the house. Me.

punishment and discipline



About Lady Alexa

I'm an author and blogger of female domination, forced feminisation and erotica. I live in London with my feminised husband Alice in a Female Led Relationship.
This entry was posted in CFNM, discipline, discipline and punishment, female domination, Female led relationships, femdom, FLR, male submissive, punishment and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Discipline and punishment

  1. jim sedrut says:

    love your thinking………………

  2. IanBrianna says:

    Thanks for explaining this subtle but important distinction.

  3. whyguys says:

    Lady A wrote: and we male girls had better read and incorporate

    “Males think their little willies are so important and masculine so it’s necessary to have this discipline to demonstrate that it’s insignificant. It’s the final element to ensure removal of nasty masculine traits once you’ve feminised him. I renamed it a clitty a long time ago and the whole area is her pussy. I ask Alice to tell me who owns it and tell me how feminine it is, especially with a cure little triangle of pubic hair. ”

    Amazingly important in that the entire male concept of male ego is diffused. For eons males would base their false sense of superiority by defining their organ as the supreme source and indication of superiority and power. In one fell swoop Woman has redefined it as an inferior ‘insignificant imitation of what the Female has.

    ‘Penis envy’ swiftly dispensed into a sex organ whose nature begs to be mocked by a more perfect and superior sex. In the future the very concept of what makes a male a male shall never have connotations of pride again… but only an amusingly appropriate modicum of deserved shame in comparison to that which defines the Female.

    The irony is precious…

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  5. Sophie says:

    I am totally in awe of you Lady A and love and respect and agree totally to your thinking – Sophie

  6. whyguys says:

    Lady Alexa… also the drawing of the ‘husbette’ at the window doing his dishes has always been one of my favorites! Glad you used it here to remind me. I love the fact SHE makes him keep the curtains OPEN!

    DO WISH a touch up version showing the male girl wearing a bra were done. Especially since Your recent article on the necessity of males being kept in proper breast training as reminder their masculinity is no longer of import and needs to be hidden or negated.

    Delightful to contemplate the other neighborhood Women seeing the husband so feminized both in appearance and in function… and then to imagine them thinking or planning,
    “Hmmmm… interesting idea…. I think it’s about time I start making a few changes in MY MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP….”

    And so it spreads!

    • jim sedrut says:

      ohh yes……………

      • whyguys says:

        *tick* – *tock* – *tick* – *TOCK* – *TICK*

        Sorry sir…. i mean MISS!
        The time has now run out on your patriarchy… it is now 12:00 AM (Apres-male) Greenwich Gynarchy Time.

        Get up, put on a work frock and finish putting away last evening’s dishes, straighten vacuum and dust the living room, then dress in the chic French maid’s you’ll find Your Female Master just bought you and left hanging next to the new vanity She had made for you, so you are presentable when She awakes…

        DO HAVE HER BREAKFAST READY BY 7:45 AM… or suffer the consequences, young lady!

  7. Chrissy says:

    I love reading your posts Lady Alexa. I recently became very lax in my efforts and thought my wife didn’t notice. She soon put me right by taking me to get both my nipples pierced-I won’t be making that mistake again!

  8. sissy jamieanne says:

    As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your lifestyle, Lady Alexa…reading your writings reminds me of my place and helps to keep me properly focused on my position in my own FLR.


    sissy jamieanne

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