I describe how and why I feminised my husband, the tactics I used and about some of the barriers we continue to face. I look at how I will work to overcome these barriers as I deepen my husband’s feminisation and submission further still.
The cover shot is an actual photo of my husband.
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Here’s an excerpt of the book
How I Feminised My Husband
Copyright Lady Alexa 2016
My husband is a girl. I wrote husband but what I really meant was housewife in the old-fashioned sense of the word. I also mean girl as a gender, not biologically. I have uses for her still fully-functioning vestige of her former gender.
It wasn’t my plan initially to write a book about my personal lifestyle and it certainly wasn’t my husband’s. I usually write novels based on my love of the femdom and feminisation lifestyle under my pen name and my femdom scene name of Lady Alexa. However, as I’ve got to know one or two others who live the femdom lifestyle, they told me that my own story was just as interesting as the novels I write with the additional element of it being completely true.
So my story. I didn’t start out with the idea of feminising my husband, not at first anyway. I have always been a dominant lady and I always led in my relationships before I met my husband later in life. I didn’t lead them in the classical femdom way, I was just in charge of things, decisions and so on. I was never in the femdom scene or any other fetish scene nor did I know much if anything about forced feminisation and petticoating. I just liked being in charge which is not uncommon in couples, one is usually the leader and it’s often the woman. Once I’d made the decision to take control of our previously democratic marriage and to force feminise my husband, I looked for guidance online and found mainly porn, wild unbelievable tales of forced feminisation and stories of cruelty including forcing males to take female hormones, chemicals or even surgery. This type of thing is probably fantasy and definitely not appropriate in a loving relationship such as ours.
I therefore adopted what I believe to be a natural approach to femdom and feminisation within a permanent relationship. I have tried to bring my husband along with me towards his fate as a submissive girl within my female led authority. As I had no guide in those early days, I made it up as I went along and made some mistakes and, on reflection, I could have probably achieved my objectives much sooner if I’d been firmer and surer about my goal. My desire to remain in a happy loving relationship with the man I was feminising and taking control of did colour my approach and I was occasionally too soft. I sometimes listened to what he wanted. This soft approach wasn’t always necessary as our marriage is still strong despite becoming tougher and more demanding as time has gone on. I therefore now realise I should have been firmer with him early on as when I do apply strong leadership and discipline, things go far smoother for both of us. It’s a balance though as this was a significant lifestyle change for the two of us and we’ve come out of it at the other end having enjoyed the journey and still enjoying it, even when I look back at those difficult situations where my husband didn’t always want to comply with my demands on him. He got there and he has largely accepted it in the end.
When we first met, he was a successful businessman working for a company. He, I’ll use her former male pronoun for clarity for now, wasn’t what you would call a typical macho alpha male but neither was he a soft touch. He was confident, independent, articulate and assertive. He was always sensitive though and often seemed to prefer the company of women although he wasn’t averse to an alcoholic night out with the boys or an afternoon at the football. He was, and is,100% heterosexual and now he’s a girl he still only finds women attractive. He told me he had always liked strong women although he had never allowed them to dominate him, until now. Ours was the first relationship where I had been equal partners with my man and I mostly liked that at first although it began to lead to some friction, a friction which we no longer have.
So you might ask, why would I want to feminise a man like this and jeopardise a good strong marriage? Surely he would be many women’s ideal male partner and his soft confident masculinity was indeed what attracted him to me in the first place. But, was it entirely this or was there something else, something deeper in me and something deeper inside him that we both saw without realising it? Looking back I now believe so. What was it that made me change this tall slim assertive businessman into an obedient housewife and submissive girl? Why have I renamed him ‘Alice’, call him a girl and now refer to him as she or her? Why do I insist he always wears a skirt or a dress at home and knickers and a bra at all times? And why did I do this when I was faced with a sometimes strong reluctance from him to be feminised. It has taken considerable effort on my part to turn him into a girl.
If I wanted to analyse why I did it and I was writing a university thesis, I would probably write about breaking down the artificial social rules constructed over time and about him being released from the expectations and pressures of men within our society. There is some truth to this but whatever the underlying reason, I came to believe he needed to be feminised and that this would be good for me and for him. Indeed, he is now far better off and happier as an obedient girl with all the expectations of manhood now stripped away forever and he would also be the first to admit, he now has the benefit of wearing much nicer clothing and beauty products.
The benefits to me and to any woman taking control in this way are obvious and immense. What woman wouldn’t like an obedient partner to put their needs first and to look pretty and sexy. I now have someone to not only maintain the home as a submissive housewife should, but also someone who does all that I want. Let’s also be very honest and admit we all like to look at the bodies of those we find attractive and I do find my housewife’s body very attractive now her masculinity has been smoothed away and she has a more female body type. I insist that Alice wear very short skirts and fine stockings. I want to look at her legs, it’s a pleasure for me and I don’t want to be denied this pleasure. At times I want her exposed and to admire that too as well as bathe in the pleasures of the ultimate control that this demonstrates. Her underwear is feminine, small and revealing or, at times, non -existent. She wears a bra. To be clear, I don’t want to turn my husband into a female biologically, I wanted to change him into a submissive female gender-wise which is what I did.
This then is the real-life story of how I gradually uncovered the incredible pleasures and benefits of a loving female led relationship with a feminised husband. Our journey isn’t yet complete and I still have some changes to make in our relationship in terms of control and to Alice in order to deepen her feminisation and submission. I have to be honest and say that it’s impossible to have Alice dressed as a girl in many situations; at work and with family and friends for example. Times will change but we’re not there yet.
This amazing true story is therefore about how I took a loving masculine husband and changed our lives forever by turning him into my very own loving submissive girl inside.
Once upon a time there was a husband and wife
I’ve always been extremely liberal-minded when it comes to sex and sexuality. My husband Adam, on the other hand, was more conservative, very British you might say. We met later in life, in our middle age, so we both had had a good number of relationships before finding each other. It was an instant match and we married despite neither of us having planned to do so again.
Our marriage was an instant success and the best relationship I’ve ever known. However, although I loved things the way they were, I began to realise that I as I matured I needed something more from life. It wasn’t anything to do with my husband he couldn’t have been any better, but I wasn’t getting any younger and I like to seize the moment when I can. A dream, a fantasy and a lifestyle idea that I’d had since childhood began to crystallise and firm up in my mind, one in which I was the dominant and a man or men were submissive to me. I had thought it to be no more than a fantasy at one time, a dream that could never be real. But as I matured in life, I realised that in some small way, I could just possibly make something happen and, if I had the right, sensitive man with me, then I may just be able to propose the changes I had in mind. I now had that man but I knew I’d have to be very careful as any sudden moves may just annoy him at best and scare him off at worst. It’s funny that only once everything was good in my personal relationship did I really begin to think seriously about making my fantasies a reality.
So what was that fantasy I’d had since I was a very young girl specifically. Domination obviously, but specifically my domination of a man who would serve me but love and adore me at the same time, worship me even. I really wanted this man serving me as my slave or very submissive servant. More than that, as a measure of my domination and their submission, I fantasised about him being naked. I also had another fantasy that the man was somehow forced into very revealing and feminine clothing. I’d never done anything before about my thoughts in this area and I don’t know why I hadn’t. I now know that there are many men out there who would love to be in the position of being a submissive servant to an assertive woman such as me. Even so I had always dismissed my secret desires as little more than an illusion I could never have. Having found the (near) perfect partner, a man who is sensitive, open and supportive, I thought that just maybe I could introduce my ideas as a bedroom game. I could then realise some of my dreams within a game environment and that was how it all started.
It wasn’t easy to bring up the idea despite our great relationship. How do you say, “I want to play a game where you’re the submissive naked or feminised slave and I’m in charge and you do exactly what I want?” The secret to success would be, I thought, to not expect too much; to stick with it as a bedroom game with a bit of female domination and a bit of feminisation. Why did I want my initially very male husband to be submissive and feminised? I really don’t know but I’m guessing it was as a control mechanism and I do like to be in control. Once the idea was seeded into my mind I found myself increasingly thinking about my husband Adam wearing female clothing or serving me naked. My original idea had only to be a dominant lady served by a male servant but the idea of feminising him started to creep into the whole fantasy. I could feel that feminising him or petticoating him, is a powerful way to subjugate a man and change his macho tendencies around to become far more gentle and sensitive. Feminine and female to be precise.
As I’ve said, my husband was already gentle and sensitive but as a male. He was also prone to drinking beer, watching football and throwing himself down on seats without care and so on. So not physically gentle all the time. I wanted my husband to be gentle and thoughtful in a feminine way, his movements to be more subtle. The other point is that male body hair and clothing can be quite rough and unpleasant and I yearned for him to have softer skin and finer clothing. Yes the more I thought about this, the more I wanted it and the hotter I felt. It’s true to say that beyond the obvious benefits of having a submissive servant to look after you as a kind of housewife and to put my sexual needs first, there would be the whole ambience change in a household where I ruled supreme. The end of any potential for strife. I knew I really had to do something about this or I’d explode with desire.
It all started on a holiday. Holidays are a time for relaxation and to be more open. Adam knows that I always like to push boundaries and he often tells me that was one of the attractions he had for me as he was so conservative. So the holiday. It was 2010 and I told Adam it would be great to play some sex games. Tell me more he said. I suggested domme and submissive but I didn’t specify who would be which one. I didn’t fancy the submissive side but it might have been fun to try in the context of a sex game. Adam, not surprisingly at that time, chose to be the domme. I was to be naked in the hotel room and he was to be fully clothed and I would serve him as he ordered. It was a failure. He may be independent but he’s no leader and didn’t know or even care about telling me what to do. I suggested we switch roles. This time it was a success as I was more than happy telling him what to do without the constraints of attempting not to anger him by my directness. He was permanently hard during the whole game and we had found a new dynamic. We didn’t do any feminisation at that time, he was the naked submissive in the room.
We got home and life went back to normal. He never mentioned the domme/submissive game we’d played on holiday. I tried to speak about it but he just smiled and said it was fun and then changed the subject. I thought about it a lot though and I spent several weeks thinking about how to broach the idea with him again. It built up in my mind and I became anxious and snappy and he didn’t know why. It seemed that it was not important for him and he’d reverted to normality away from the holiday escapism. I wanted to be the domme again in real life not in my dreams, it had stirred something in me. The main problem was clearly that he was a male man not a feminine or submissive one so I was nervous about raising the idea again. He is tall, broad-shouldered and masculine so how do you come out with, “hello darling, I’d like you to become a submissive girl for me. I do hope you don’t mind.”
Since moving into the femdom lifestyle I have met and communicated with many men who want to be feminised via my ladiesontop wordpress blog or, more recently, at fetish events. My husband didn’t want to be feminised and didn’t want to be a girl. He was more or less a typical modern metro-sexual male.
I was unable to find any way to discuss what I wanted with him. I hinted at times but as with any typical male, hints went over his unaware head, out the door and floated away on the breeze. In the end I just came out with it during sex. I remember it well, Saturday 12th February 2011, the day our whole world changed and turned around. I honestly didn’t think about turning him into a girl at that time, it was more about getting him to wear some female clothing as a sex game and allowing me to lead in the bedroom in an extended recreation of our holiday game. Even this was a concern as he didn’t like to be pinned down or underneath so I knew I had a challenge on my hands.
It was in the afternoon and I was feeling frisky as I had been thinking about my fantasies again. I led him into bed. It was a bit of a struggle at first as he was busy doing some work on the house and he kept telling me to wait until he’d finished. I couldn’t wait so I took the tools from his hands and led him to the bedroom and into bed. I didn’t have a plan at that time to put him in knickers, more that I was feeling hot over my daydreams. As we played in bed, I developed the idea in my head that I could manipulate him into putting on a pair of my knickers as he was drifting into that zone of no return. Maybe it wasn’t so sudden as I had been thinking about how to do this for several weeks. However, I thought I could see an opportunity. I knew that my conservative man would never agree to anything so strange for him as wearing women’s knickers unless I could get him in a weak moment and I suddenly became aware that he was slipping into that zone where his juices were about to flow. A man’s weakest moment. I did know that to suggest an item of clothing more feminine than knickers, such as a skirt, would frighten him off entirely. Knickers would be an excellent choice.
We were naked and I concentrated my attention on his cock and balls. Men like us to focus on that area, even my husband. I could feel his cock hardening reaching that point as I gave him a lot of attention and stroked the end with my thumb and forefinger, licking my finger tips and then re-applying gentle regular strokes. I stopped as I felt the first spasm and looked at him.
His eyebrows knitted, he didn’t know why I’d stopped. He looked at me with confusion in his eyes and asked what was wrong. I looked away as I found it difficult to say what I wanted as I didn’t know how he’d react but I didn’t re-start the sex as I wanted to blurt out that I wanted him in female underwear. Instead I stuttered and mumbled, saying “Oh I don’t know, I wanted something but I’m not sure.”
He began to show frustration at my hesitation and swept away the crumpled sheets with a frustrated hand and they fluttered and then settled on the mattress in the fraught moment of silence. He insisted I tell him what I had on my mind.
I screwed up my eyes. I had to go for it. “Please don’t be annoyed but it would be nice if you wore something naughty while we made love. It would be exciting for me.”
“What?” he said brusquely, “wear what? What are you on about?” He now sounded nervous as he propped himself up on one elbow facing me. He didn’t tell me to stop being silly or complain, in fact his face settled into something resembling inquisitiveness.
“I don’t know, something fun,” I was struggling to come out with it. My mouth was dry.
“Come on out with it,” he said. “I think you know what you want.”
I felt as if he was interested and trying to draw it out of me. I became emboldened by his interest.
“Knickers?” I whispered nervously and I remember looking away, my eyes still scrunched up in expectation of a negative reply, waiting for him to tell me not to be stupid or something similar. Instead he thought for a few seconds.
“Knickers? What do you mean knickers?” His voice went up a pitch. His first reaction was surprise but he thought a little more as he sat up fully, a raging erection possibly colouring his thinking at that moment. Which was of course, the whole idea. I told him I’d like him to put some on
“OK, if you want,” he agreed and fell back on the bed as if to say just get on with it. It was difficult to tell if he was interested or merely humouring me. His reaction suggested humouring me but I didn’t care, I’d got his acceptance.
I rushed out, slipping slightly in my haste on the polished laminate flooring and came back with a pair of small black g-string knickers of mine that I had retrieved from my drawer. I returned and gave them to him and his eyes widened in horror as I held them up and giggled nervously. They were far too small for him as I’m much smaller in the body but he took them with a sigh and put them on. They didn’t fit and the front part just slid to the side of his erect unrestrained cock. I could see the fine black lacy feminine material wrapped across the side of his balls and I was happy. The love-making came to its desired conclusion with a great deal lot more excitement for not just me, but for him too.
Knowing that he’d also enjoyed making love with the knickers on, I made sure I got him to admit that it as exciting to wear them. This was a strategy I would return to many times although it was a natural request that first time. I found it important for him to recognise and admit that wearing female clothing was a good thing for him and that he enjoyed it. At this time I was just starting to learn learn about what I came to know as femdom, feminisation and petticoating. I had no teacher or mentor to help me find a path to femdom and the eventual forced-feminisation of my husband.
The moment we finished making love, he turned onto his back and ripped the knickers off. I logged his reaction in my head as I knew I would have to find a way to get him to keep them on longer in the future. I liked him in knickers, I wasn’t entirely sure why but I did and I now wanted more. This was the first time he had ever worn an item of female clothing in his life and I didn’t yet know that I would want to take it as far as I eventually did. At this moment I just wanted him to wear feminine clothing from time to time for play.
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