I receive many emails and comments from males wanting to know how to find a strong woman for a successful FLR or how to convince their wives to take charge of their marriage.
Here’s my advice on the five changes men must make to live in a real-life successful FLR.
A SUCCESSUL FLR
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I often think that some males believe that an FLR is a fun sex game for the weekend. It’s not, it’s a lifestyle transformation. If you think your wife or partner is going to let you dress up in a little maid’s dress on Saturday night, serve dinner, curtsy once or twice, put the dishes in the dishwasher, have sex and then watch the football on TV then forget it.
Any man wanting a real-life Female-Led Relationship is going to have to work for it and at it. For the rest of a man's life he's going to be his wife's submissive servant. You will lose your rights. It's not a game boys.Click To TweetIf this is not what you want to hear as a male reader then click away now.
Still with me? Great here we go. These five changes are, for me, the most important things any male needs to go through to live in a real-life successful FLR.
1. AN FLR IS ABOUT THE LADY, NOT THE MAN
How many times do I get the question from men, “How can I get my wife to feminise me?” The answer is easy, think about what’s in it for her not you. Why would any woman think it’s fun for them for their man to prance around in sexy female clothes saying, “look at me, aren’t I pretty?” without there being any benefit to them.
As a woman who has feminised her husband, I didn’t do it just for my sissy husband Alice’s sexual excitement and to see her in a pretty skirt. No. Feminisation was just one element of a successful FLR.
It was part of a change in our relationship status where Alice becomes my submissive sissy housewife who performs domestic duties and serves me. OK, I happen to prefer feminised men over alpha males but it’s more than just seeing them looking pretty. It’s about changing their whole approach to life and relationships.
The FLR package means male submissiveness 24/7. Yes 24/7, 365 days per year. It’s a lifestyle not a weekend game.
Alice is not a slave, she gets a lot out of our relationship too. She is relaxed not having to take responsibility, she gets to wear nicer clothing and she is cared for. Alice likes to serve me. But, in any real FLR it’s all about the woman not the man.
2. THE MALE TAKES ON ALL DOMESTIC CHORES
I don’t really care if a man works full time or not. Once he’ comes home from’s completed his paid work, it’s time to take up his other role in the relationship; the domestic sissy housemaid.
In a successful FLR the lady of the house does not do domestic work, unless she wants to of course. I sometimes enjoy cooking for example. However, all housewife duties fall to the male by default unless the lady says otherwise.
My sissy Alice works full-time and then fulfils all domestic chores, after work and at weekends. If a man is not fully prepared to commit to do the domestic chores day in and day out for ever then he’s not going to find a successful FLR.
3. DEFERENCE TO THE WOMAN
Respect and deference to the woman in an FLR is fundamental. It’s about demonstrating the status differential. Remember it’s not called a female-led relationship for fun, it means the female is the leader. Leaders demand respect and demonstrations of their leadership and superior position
Alice is not permitted to call me Alexa. She has to refer to me as Mistress (my preference) or my Lady. She has to curtsy when serving me food and drink. When I come home in the evening she has to come to the door when I enter, curtsy as a greeting and take my jacket, bags or what ever.
Deference and respect for your Mistress in an FLR is the key to a successful relationship.
4. FOLLOW HER INSTRUCTIONS WITHOUT DEBATE
The wife or female partner is now also the superior, the boss, the leader: the clue’s in the title of the relationship. A male will no longer have a say in the day-to-day running of a relationship.
In reality I do ask Alice for her opinion, why not? She may have some good ideas too. However, the point is I have the final decision.
This means no debate, no discussion. I do still have some problems with Alice who sometimes forgets and thinks we live in a democracy at home. We don’t. Once the lady of the house tells the male to do something it should be done without question.
The man in an FLR may be tired, may not agree with his wife’s decision. It doesn’t matter, if it’s an FLR, this is what you have both signed up to.
5. MALE FEMINISATION
In truth, male feminisation isn’t necessary in all FLRs or all circumstances. The male could remain male; kept naked maybe? Dressed as a butler? I don’t know, there are other variations I suppose that emphasise the status differential in an FLR.
I subscribe to feminisation of the male partner. I believe that nothing works better in modifying a male’s behaviour.
I found it out by a lucky accident in the early days of our marriage, observing the changes in Alice when she was put in something feminine. If you then exaggerate the clothing somewhat and add in a female name and use female pronouns then you’ve won.
Put a man in a pretty little dress and heels and any machismo melts away like a bucket of ice on the equator. Here’s my sissy husband dressed correctly at home.
I like dressing Alice in miniskirts and minidresses. I enjoy seeing her in pleated skirts, for example, as they are so feminine. I also enjoy her in colours like white, pinks, yellows but black is fine too as you can see in the photo above
I also like her naked or exposed too as this heightens the status differential.Anything that demonstrates my power and her submission works for me.
For me feminisation is a fantastic ‘weapon’ in a woman’s FLR armoury.
FIVE MALE CHANGES FOR A SUCCESSFUL FLR
I’m sure that other women will have other ideas on what constitutes a successful FLR, but for me these are the key changes any man must commit to to enter into an FLR. It’s not a decision to take lightly. For me it as easy as I pushed forward with the changes and Alice acquiesced.
For males it is not all hard work. For Alice it frees her of all the demands that society expects from a man. She is not a natural leader and used to find it stressful to be expected to be an alpha male. We have found a great approach to life.
The single important point to remember for any males wishing to find a real-life FLR is that it’s not all about you. Remember always: it’s all about what the woman wants. Not the man.
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Ian Elliott says
I like this for its authenticity. I despise topping from the bottom. I nearly entered such a relationship but was grabbed by a former Domme.
Ian Elliott says
I agree with this all the way. Topping from the bottom is strictly phony. This is for real.
Leighanne says
Totally agree with all your points. My wife adds correction and discipline daily as well to make sure my obedience and submission is enforced. She wants total respect and obedience from me and I want this as well.
Lady Alexa says
Good to hear this Leighanne
Cathy Laura Peterson says
Hello Alexa, This is your American kindred Cathy from LA. My husband and read through your 5 points and talked about them over dinner and again during breakfast, as I asked him for his perspective (agree/disagree) from the husband’s point of view. So I step aside and allow him (my cute Mary) to reply point-by-point right here on my ChromeBook. 1st, I agree that our FLR is more about my loving wife Cathy, than about me. It’s HER time, HER leading, HER opportunity to step into the lead in our marriage of over 25 years, so that my place is to simply step aside, relax, and settle into no longer having to worry about all the “lead” things, and simply follow in all ways. This is very freeing for me and has reduced my stress in some many areas, and there’s actually something very transforming in waiting on my love’s leading, and I’m on board 100% and it’s actually fun to wait and see each day, evening, week, weekend for her to make the decisions and instruct me. 2nd, I’ll admit it, I did very little if anything around the house for all those years, and now this fits well with the 1st area, so because it’s about Cathy having her time in the lead, I am fine taking care of the house, keeping it clean, organized, neat and picked up after. I take pride in doing a nice job, and Cathy is very good at saying “thanks” and letting me know how much she appreciates such a tidy home to enjoy. 3rd, I’m so “ok” with deferring to Cathy, it’s actually a great place to be, with no big responsibilities to worry or care about. So I just go with her lead, she asks my opinion many times on various things, takes my input into consideration, but ultimately decides for both of us and again, I think that’s so freeing for me – and very empowering for her. 4th, I feel like we get to discuss and share ideas BEFORE she makes the decision, so when she finally says, “Okay my dear, this is what we’ll do” I’m not interested in debating or challenging any more, and once again it’s freeing for my mind, emotions, feelings, to just comply and go along with her lead. 5th, stepping fully into this new ‘following’ role/position probably would not feel so good or work as well if it were not for the entire NEW way I look and feel in such a complete feminized way. I guess, because this FLR is so new and different from who we were all those years, it works best if I’m not in that look and feelings about myself that I always was in my typical work clothes or casual clothes at home evenings and weekends. Following Cathy’s lead by me taking on the same appearance/clothing as a woman, which is SO VERY different than who I was, well, that makes it THAT much easier to follow, defer, obey, and just go with this. I’ll go on the record and say that I am much more comfortable now each day in complete female attire – from being shaved smooth all over and my own underthings, to so many varieties/styles of clothing, and matching it all up with nails polish, make-up, jewelry ensembles, perfume, and wearing my hair in lots of fun ways ……. being like this, like I am now typing, makes it entirely easy and relaxing (and fun) to settle into my “following” position in every way. And I’ll finish up by saying these clothes feel far more comfortable, relaxing, and NATURAL now so I could not go back to the other stuff I used to wear. And Cathy never teases or makes fun of me when I’m in complete female mode, but encourages me, supports me, offers ideas on outfits and accessories, and also has fun flirting with me which is so freeing for me to receive and enjoy in my much more fun-cute-sexy gal clothes. I think that’s all.
Lady Alexa says
Hello Cathy (and Mike). They were my opinions of the five most important changes a male must accept but I think there may be others for other women. Good to hear that Mike is so comfortable now in female attire and lifestyle, it’s so important for me that males accept this. My own Alice is much more accepting these days too
Cathy Laura Peterson says
Hello Alexa, It’s Sunday morning here in LA. We are in such a nice groove that we can relax on weekends, no more rushing-going running all over, or stuck in front of the TV watching sports. My guy slept in bra-panties-nightie, and now has cute crepe robe over those with slippers, hair up in scrunchy, and making omelets coffee toast for our breakfast on the patio. We’ll talk, relax, enjoy the yard and flowers fruit trees, and I WILL lead our discussions and plans for the day for what I WANT to do. So I 100% agree that the hair, nails, clothing all put him in such a different posture and place than before, it makes his compliance so easy and we both feel so comfortable in this new way of doing things. Next up, capri-length leggings, cami-tanktops, clingy workout jackets, visor, sunglasses, Skechers and long 90-minute walk along Ocean Blvd as two gal-friends. His leggings are light gray and pink, with white (shows all underneath) jacket, white visor, pink scrunchy for his blonde half-up with bangs. Such fun to be out in public!!!!
Lady Alexa says
Sounds wonderful Cathy
Katie says
It started after our first date. She said she wanted to be the dominant one. She was at least six inches taller. I totally agreed. I spent the night. She removed all my body hair and I was wearing panties. They were not her size, so she must have be planning this for awhile.
I now go by Katie Lynn. I wear panties and Jose all the time. Dresses and skirts around the house. Women’s slacks, shorts, and tops in public Some women’s shoes.
Lady Alexa says
Very nice to hear Katie
Butch says
I love to be your sissy maid for you and I love to meet kinky woman and man
jim serdut says
ohh such great hot shares!!!!!!!
Selina says
Dear Lady Alexa,
I have been trying to introduce my wife to the FLR lifestyle the past few months with mixed results. She was brought up and taught to think that males were in charge and females followed their lead so it’s been challenging for her to embrace this kind of life. At times she gets into it then she pulls back. I think she looks at it as a game I want to play and not as the life I want to live. I strive to serve her so she can see how wonderful that would make her life. I am being patient and let her know how wonderful it is the times she does take charge.
After reading this entry I asked her if I could read it to her. I gave her a long back and foot massage then she agreed. After reading it her she asked me to read it again. During that reading she stopped me many times asking questions. When we finished she was silent for close to a minute then asked, Is this what you really want?
After enthusiastically saying yes, she slowly asked again….is THIS what you REALLY want? After again saying yes she said, Ok I’ll give this serious thought. She told me not to bring it up again until she was ready to talk about it. I was ecstatic and thanked her agreeing to her condition.
On April 25th she told me during dinner she was ready to discuss things. She started by asking again if I truly wanted to live a FLR lifestyle and I said yes I definitely do. She said she had read your entire blog and many other sites and a few books on FLR and was intruiged by the idea. She said many of the ideas and ways women benefitted from FLR were appealing. She said that she would like to do a 3 month “trial period” before committing to doing it long term. She was in the process of drawing up a contract that we would both sign on the 30th and start it on May 1st. I was/am so excited she agreed and can’t wait to sign her contract and start our 90 day trial! She told me this will not be a game and is going to be the real thing. I excitedly said I understood.
Last night we were watching a show and she asked me to make her dinner. I politely declined and she responded, Ok then I’m telling, not asking you to make me dinner! I obediently got up and did it for her.
Tomorrow night at 10pm she is going to go over the contract she made and we will both sign it. I am beyond excited but nervous at the same time.
I will let you know how it goes and am hoping the 3 months turns into a permanent lifestyle for us!
Lady Alexa says
I’m pleased my blog helped a little. Let’s us know how it goes
Selina says
Hi Lady Alexa! This is Katrina, Selina’s wife and I’d like to share how things are going from my perspective. First off, thank you so much for your wonderful blog! I have read every entry and some more than once. I consider you my mentor for our newly developing FLR!
When my husband first mentioned trying a FLR I was not interested. He insisted he read this blog entry to me and finally I agreed, more to humor him than anything. After hearing it, I was intruiged and had him read it again, stopping him numerous times to ask questions. Something about it struck a chord in me and I told him I would consider it. I dove into your blog and between that and a series of books I found on Amazon about a wife who made her husband a full time maid, decided to why not give this a try.
Having him take over the household chores and my sexual needs being first and foremost were the big draws for me. I was leery of the feminization aspect as previous forays into this were basically him being “forced” to dress up, pretend to be submissive to me, get his rocks off, then return to normal. A couple doing that and I didn’t participate anymore. Its been many years since we discussed the subject. Reading your blog and the books has enlightened me that feminization on my terms, not his will enhance my authority and increase his submissiveness. I have already probably taken him further than he imagined and the saying, Be careful what you wish for you just might get it, applies to him. I just love your term “encouraged feminization” and encouraging him/her I am!
This is still new and different to me but I am eager to learn and willing to be in charge, for MY sake. Having lived my life thinking men are the decision makers and in charge will be changed quickly. Our marriage has been the same way until now. I am highly motivated to embrace this newfound way of life! One change I’ve made is to change this from a contract to “Katrina’s Rules”. Follow my rules or pay the price I tell him!
He learned last night what happens when rules are broken and I’ll have him tell you about it.
I am excited to live a FLR lifestyle and have already decided this will become a permanent way of life for us. When I tell him is up to me!
Right now, my cute sissy husband is wearing pink capri pants, a cute white top, white open toe sandals showing off her painted toenails. She is wearing pink satin matching bra and panties and some light makeup. She also has a pink bow in her hair. Her body hair was removed the first day so shes smooth! She is working on a long list of household chores that will take her well into tomorrow. I made her cancel plans with friends to attend to my wants and needs! This is the life Lady Alexa! Thank you for opening my mind to a new way to live! Katrina
Lady Alexa says
I’m honoured to be considered a mentor on flr to another lady. You made some great points here Katrina. I just loved the ‘be careful what you wish for’ statement. Happy FLR-ing
marcie says
Hello Alexa
I do 100% agree with all the above to a point except I have one HUGE difference in opinion that most forget about. Yes, I 100% believe a FLR is geared mainly yes mainly towards the females.
IF done the right way,
women get to make all the decisions
men take over all domestic duties
women get more attention from their males
women pretty much get whatever they want, whenever they want!
He the HUGE thing you are leaving out! If there wasn’t anything in it for the men we wouldn’t do it! We need things to. So when you say its all about the women remember one thing, technically it is as much about the submissive!
If the submissive isn’t getting what they want out of the relationship, whatever it may be, the whole dynamic will never work and is doomed to fail.
My wife and I have a written agreement, there are things she needs in the relationship such as me trying to give total obedience without argument, I am allowed to offer opinion in decisions however I also am required to comply with her decisions. I have taken over ALL domestic duties. We have both agreed to use corporal punishment also. I also wear female clothing as much as possible and we have decided that I have taken on the traditional female housewife role and yes, I also want this.
Here’s where I think what gets left out of articles pertaining to FLR’s. If the Dominant partner doesn’t keep up on their end in a agreement then it will never work. Like me I want her to be dominant, make decisions, punish me when deserved, call me by my fem name, treat me as her wife. I desire and thrive of these things and when I don’t get them I pretty much just feel used. I feel like she could give a damn about me, really doesn’t want the life and she doesn’t respect me hence I pull back and say screw it and I them “MAN” up and then she is miserable also!
Men do not enter into these arrangements because we have no choice or have to we do it because we get something out of it also! So it really isn’t ALL about women!
Lady Alexa says
I didn’t forget anything masie. You however forgot to address me properly as LADY Alexa or Mistress which amplified my point perfectly that many males think it’s all about their needs and their fantasies. I understand perfectly what Alice gets out of our FLR. But the post was not about her, the post was from a woman’s perspective. Too many males don’t get it thinking only of themselves and not what their wives and partners might get from a feminised FLR.
Strepsata says
Wow, talk about being a stealth dominator. Top from bolow much? Look at how you’re phrasing things. You’re throwing a hissy fit. “Dominate me, but do it exactly how I want you to, as often as I want you to!” That’s not submissive. Femdoms don’t forget about your needs. In fact, I think you’ll find we’re pretty good at striking a balance between motivating you and getting what we want as well. But when you act like a demanding little brat, you don’t deserve a thing. You are going to push away a perfectly good partner this way. She’ll lose all interest the more demanding you become. You have not fully surrendered to HER, so how is she supposed to fully dominate you?
whyguys says
Lady Alexa…
In Your relationship and nearly all others here there seems to be at least some stronger leaning towards Female Supremacy among BOTH partners involved, and then the general increase and consolidation of power towards the Female.
Have You ever seen, encountered, or do You believe very highly possible that a proper Female Master/male girl relationship has been made evident to You where it was at start ENTIRELY the goal of the Female.
Also, can You see this Female First Relationship thus being very possible as someday the societal norm -even against male resistance?
Lady Alexa says
Yes in my case
Femdom Videos says
Thank You for this five steps on change. That approach makes easier for a Woman interested on Power, but maybe not in BDSM, take the reigns. Some people mix both things, and think always that a D/s relationship, a femdom relationship, is always envolved on chains, leather and whips. But with this five steps is clearly easier the power approach to a healthy FLR.
thank You again
Lady Alexa says
Thank you. Every relationship is different. I’m not so into BDSM, more female leadership and control. And male feminisation of course
sissy jamieanne says
Thank you Lady Alexa for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I’m a submissive and feminised male and my wife is clearly the leader in our home. I do 100% of the housework (I even discovered the other day that she had no idea how to operate the dishwasher!!!). Fortunately for me, I’m so very content and at peace doing household chores…I think I was born to be a domestic servant!
Your quote, “This means no debate, no discussion. I do still have some problems with Alice who sometimes forgets and thinks we live in a democracy at home. We don’t. Once the lady of the house tells the male to do something it should be done without question”, struck a chord with me, Ma’am…this is where I still have difficulty…I tend to be willful at times and know that I must improve in this area…and I thank you for this reminder!
Most respectfully,
sissy jamieanne
Lady Alexa says
I’m pleased that my words served as a reminder. Keep up the good submissive work jamieanne
Philipp says
Dear Lady Alexa
Thank you for this post. I fully agree with you, Mistress. A man who wants to live in FLR has to fully submit to his woman and accept being her submissive servant. He must do all the housework – cooking, cleaning, serving, ironing, doing the laundry, the dishes and so on – besides working his normal job. He must be submissive, respectful, loyal, deferent and obedient to her and accept her as the final decision-maker and his leader. He must also be aware that a FLR is not a game but it is a lifestyle. So he is her submissive servant 24/7 forever. You are absolutely right to point out that a FLR is about the woman and not the man, Mistress.
Finally, I would like to say this quote is perfectly true:
“Put a man in a pretty little dress and heels and any machismo melts away like a bucket of ice on the equator.”
Have a nice day, Mistress.
*curtsy*
Curious Georgina says
Dear Lady Alexa,
“Put a man in a pretty little dress and heels and any machismo melts away like a bucket of ice on the equator.” This is very true. In the case of many men, the machismo is something conditioned by society and demanded by society. In reality these men have a strong feminine side that they are unable to express in their lives. Society forces men to suppress their strong feminine side. Luckily society has become more accepting of women with a strong masculine side, such as yourself, who provide an opportunity to such men to free their inner girl and live blissful, fulfilling, feminized lives.
Lady Alexa says
I wouldn’t say I have a masculine side at all. I would say I am an assertive alpha woman who is also very feminine in nice dresses and hairdos
Curious Georgina says
I meant masculine side in the traditional sense of masculinity. Traditionally being an assertive, alpha person was regarded as a “masculine” trait. Of course, I certainly did not imply that your appearance might be masculine.
jim serdut says
agree
Mistress K says
Great post Alexa! I agree that feminization isn’t necessary, I’d had relationships with submissive men before, but Stephie is the first one I tried to feminize. After reading more and more about it changing the subs demeanor, obedience I thought I’d give it a try, demand it! Playfully at first but then strictly. Stephie tho never having cross dressed took to it like a fish to water, like you with Alice there were some times I had to get tough, overall tho it was fairly easy. I think most really submissive men have a ” Gurl” in them. Besides it’s been empowering, fun emasculating, some humiliation etc.. I find those things sexually stimulating, and now even Stephie does?
jim serdut says
such sizzling comments……………
Philipp says
Dear Mistress K
I think you are right. Most submissive have a “gurl” inside them and a dominant woman can bring it out if she wants. How do you emasculate, humiliate and feminize your sissy husband, Mistress?
*curtsy*
jim serdut says
ohhh yes………..
Mistress D says
Thank you for blog Lady Alexa. My soon to be husband and I are now in a Loving FLR. I am in total control of the finances and he rarely has access to a card or cash. He is doing most of the domestic chores and I keep him in chastity daily unless I have need for him. We love your blog and look forward to each new post of yours.
Stephanie says
Lady Alexa,
This is such a valuable tool to hone my role as a delicate submissive. My Mistress’ path to transform me has been gradual. Each step a way to the next step. I told you I was wearing beautifully colorful blazers with gleaming gold buttons as I did her paperwork all day. But, those were worn with ivory pants with silk lining. Not anymore! She must’ve planned this as She has presented me with the matching pleated skirts to each one of those blazers. I am so excited! I am also to wear coordinated gloves as it makes me feel more in need of Her unencumbered dexterity. I actually love the silky feel on my hands. The shirts are now replaced with blouses and silky feminine bows.. I feel my most delicate and fragile. I must sit carefully as I don’t want my satin lap scarf to fall off my skirt and onto the rug below.
There is nothing that would ever have me wanting the life I once had. My life is in Her hands. I am to wear a special dress that I will not see until Sunday morning when I wear it. That is the day I take a formal oath before Her with all Her friends, and with Her Mother watching and ready to take a picture as I am formally asked to finalize everything by Her putting Her foot forward and my kissing it, She will be standing, and I will be knelt before Her through the entire moment. Females are our leaders and are superior in every way. It is right to publicly give Her and all Women praise and complete obedience.
My name is now Stephanie.
Lady Alexa says
Pleased I could help
M. says
Hello Lady Alexa!
Really loved this and it truly speaks to me and my experience so far. I paid for the time of many dominatrices in my 20s. I married someone in my 30s and we love each other. We began pretty vanilla with just some spanking but her always on top. Nearly 10 years later there is no ‘topping from bottom’ as I could do when I paid for services younger. She is in charge. As small as always holding remote for t.v. and as big as deciding what and when we do anything. I am in chastity and am not allowed any porn or seeing a woman in a state of undress. I had to get educated and read feminist literature and volonteer my time to women’s causes. Yes, I love to give her whole body massages, but not as much every single day and with my own back hurting and after doing all household chores and with no orgasm after. That is submission. Cuddling is my reward. And an orgasm about once a month. I am very grateful. I wish to be feminized. And wish to dress but she prefers me naked at home or typically masculine out an about so I obey accordingly. Everyone knows who is in charge in our relationship. Friends and family direct questions to her. I love out flr. Though I wish more of my fantasies would happen, I know it is about her. I will ask her again today if I may wear something cute, she doesn’t mind me asking or saying no! Lol! So, I will keep begging. That doesn’t get me the paddle. : )
Thanks for reading
Lisa Lovely says
I would love to be turned into a sissy & made to service men’s COCKS!!
Lady Alexa says
Do it
donald says
I have had 2 failed marriages and I now understand why. I needed to be controlled and made to obey. I now have a Lady who has put me in a FLR and I have accepted it. It has been difficult because I disobey & have to be punished. Being spanked on my naked bottom in front of others was very humiliating and it hurt too. But I accepted it & put on my pink panties. Our neighbors who were there started talking about her husband agreeing to this too. My wife told him to stand up. She undid his pants, pulled them down, under pants too. She got a pair of her panties & told him to put them on & he did it. His wife watched in amazement as he obeyed. It will be fun to watch his transformation.
b says
Dear Lady Alexa,
You have a great perspective on how a Female led marriage can thrive, very sound and forthright and though not all of it is for me, i am happy that Alice is fortunate to have Your guidance.
In my case, the parts of an FLM that aren’t for me are not because of my preferences, but because Wife decides how those elements exist. Feminization isn’t an aspect she enjoys (if it was up to me, i would dress in the frilliest manner possible, i just love ruffles and bows, the soft pastel colors like pink and yellow, and the soft and silky feel of Women’s clothing), but Wife is very strict about my appearance. She uses Domestic Discipline to keep Her authority respected.
She took me in hand by spanking me to tears for not doing a chore in 2000, and She has known since then that She married a sissy. Before that She had explored D/s for a decade at my request, but She and i thought it was an erotic game. Once i understood i would get beaten if i didn’t behave, i was able to let go of my inner conflict caused by social and cultural expectations and truly surrender and She realized it was in Her best interest to lead. It is such a relief to know that She has accepted the responsibility of authority. It wasn’t an easy choice for Her, i am grateful She didn’t just dump me, but She and i had been married for 31 years by then so She chose this dynamic. That was in early 2000, and i have been Female led since. Feminization just isn’t Her preference, She only uses it to reward me if i have been especially good or if She needs to remove my agency completely, for instance if She is giving me new chores or made a deep hole in the budget and wants me to accept without offering any comments except enthusiastic support, and when dressed pretty, that’s about the only thing i have to offer. Really, males have no business offering advice when they are so susceptible to being led by their genitals.
Seems like my note of praise has gotten off track, i just want to say how much i appreciate the efforts You have put into guiding men and Women in learning about this relationship choice. Thank You Ma’am
Lady Alexa says
Every FLR is different, you should go with what suits the two of you.