Away from the fantasy femdom blogs and Pinterest’s photoshopped and staged images, real-life FLR and feminization thrives. Whilst the lady of the house is very much in charge, the relationship is always loving and caring. That’s the whole point.
Recently I have been in communication with Cathy from the USA. She lives in an FLR with her feminised husband ‘Mary’. Her story is very similar to my own.
This post tells Cathy’s real-life FLR and feminized husband story.
FLRs with feminised husbands are the key to happy and harmonious relationships
Before we get to Cathy’s story a little background on real-life FLRs. An FLR will always be far more harmonious than a male-led or equal relationship for many reasons. Since decision-making is the woman’s, there is no longer any reason for argument. A male’s ingrained aggression, competitiveness and approach to conflict is removed to be replaced with a relationship built on female values. Not all FLRs involve feminisation of the husband but I believe this to an integral element of any female-led relationship. Feminisation improves a male in every way possible from hygiene to gentleness through to manner and clothing. It also adds a certain frisson to things.
This is the approach I took to my marriage and is the same approach taken by Cathy. I believe that everyday male feminization should ensure males look and act as much like normal women as possible They cannot be caricature sissies, as fun as that can be to play at times. This is the approach I have taken and so has Cathy. I think Cathy’s FLR is a great model for all marriages and relationships. Here’s her wonderful story along with some photos of her pretty husband Mary.
I love everything about it.
A Loving FLR
Cathy and Mary are two Los Angeles empty-nesters now enjoying new privacy-freedom at home to explore gender. Cathy is constantly surprised and glad to have ended up with a fun gentle feminine husband now renamed Mary. Both are so happy.
Cathy’s encouraged feminisation and FLR story
My husband now has his own lingerie drawer in his dresser, no more sharing my things. He has his own feminine clothes hanging in our large walk-in closet alongside his male clothes. Everything we do is together and I’m never condescending to him or set out to embarrass him. All his lingerie and clothes are average everyday styles that match well, have nice styles, and are easy to accessorize. All classics for skirts, tops, blouses, dresses, mixed with nice contemporary looks like skinny jeans, boots, flowing Boho tops and knit sweaters. All pastel pinks, peach, lavender, yellows, ivory, baby blue. Rayon, crêpe, satin, silk, lacy, bows.
He’s now completely into it all, I never mock or tease, I always compliment and encourage and tell how much I love him and how special this is for us. We could have never done this when our kids were younger and home, but what a great time we’re having in our empty nest phase of life. He’s daily shaved clean and smooth, scented lotions, daily hair conditioner, Olay skin, and shoulder length hair that is easy to do into 2 or 3 really cute female styles. he has progressed to daily maxi pads in very tight panties with lovely flat “v” front appearance. We cook, we read books and magazines and sip wine. There are no more boring sports and sci-fi programmes for Mary, it’s now romantic movies and documentaries, plus home and garden and cooking shows. He (she) helps with the laundry, ironing, cleaning, makes our bed each morning. It’s amazing to have such a lovely new roommate.
How I feminized my husband
It has been quite a challenge to find other women who are doing similar to what Mike and I have been up to behind closed doors these last few years. It’s why I wrote to Lady Alexa, just to share experiences.
Our empty nest started in 2009. For next four and a half years it was dull. We had some boredom and routine to daily life. We both still commuted to work each day, came home, ate dinner, collapsed on the couch watching TV, and then went to bed. Same thing next day and five days a week. It was still a loving relationship but there was no spark, nothing spontaneous. It was very predictable.
Early in 2014 and we had a long three-day weekend coming up with heavy rains and chilly temperatures. I joked about doing an all-day inside spa-type day. He agreed. We started with showering together which was very good fun. We progressed to me shaving my legs and underarms while he shaved his face very smooth. He has no body hair, except on his legs below the knees In a playful moment I offered to shave his legs of the thin blonde hairs he had and he allowed it. I joked about his underarms and he let me do this too.
So we got out of the shower and I joked about moving his towel up over his chest and under his arms like me. He did it. He had mid-length hair over his ears so I made him sit in front of the vanity mirror and I brushed his hair into a style like mine. I then proposed we do hot oil conditioner treatment and facial masques. He did my hair, I did his. We had our orange mud masques and I put did moisturizer on my silky legs and he let me do his too.
While we waited 20 minutes on masques and oil in our hair. I did my nails with polish and could not help but offer to do his. Again said ok. Then I did our toenails. Waiting for the polish to dry we laughed as we sat and looked at each other in towels, hair slicked back in oil, masques with light maroon fingers and toes and super silky smooth legs.
Well oh my, we went back in the hot shower, rinsed our hair and washed off the masques. I could not keep my hands off his smooth body all over.
We went back out to dry off and I blow-dried my hair, then his. I did my flat-iron and had him sit while I straightened his too. He looked so calm and relaxed in his towel, polished nails, all smooth with very feminine looking bob and bangs (fringe for UK readers – Lady Alexa).
He offered to give me a back massage on our bed with coconut lotion. He did my back, arms, legs, then I had him lie down and did the same. It was so exotic to feel his clean and silky smooth body as I massaged him all over.
I said I was going to do my make up and then cook us a lovely dinner with candlelights. He came and sat next to me at my vanity and watched me. I could not resist being playful and started with a small dab of foundation and it all progressed to doing my face then his, back and forth with eye liner, then shadow, then mascara, light blusher and finally lipstick with that wispy hair. My goodness, was this my husband?
I left him sitting there and went to my dresser to get bra and panties, and had a rush of “why not?” I got a second bra and panty set as I walked back to him and dropped the other on his lap and gave him a reassuring, “hey, it’s just us, right?” I put on my bra and panties and he did the same.
He had a loose chest – former muscles gone soft. He looked nice in the bra and panties. He stopped all upper body workouts age 50. It took a few years but his chest muscles atrophied into some nice loose tissue to start with. Now, years of fenugreek capsules and progesterone cream massage, plus his natural low-T stage of life all come together nicely. He’s a very soft rounded jiggly full 36B. Even more convincing in padded push-up bras. His best look is adhesive Nu-Bra squeeze his breast tissue into very deep cleavage then push up bra over that. With a clingy knit top with deep scoop-neck or V-neck he looks amazing!
Next was my long pink cotton robe and I pulled my hair up in a scrunchy getting ready to make dinner. My husband put on his white terry robe and I pulled his hair up in a scrunchy too. I made dinner, he set the table. We had some on lovely classical music on, it was dark outside and raining. He turned on the fire and poured some wine. We toasted glasses in the kitchen with about 10 minutes until dinner would be ready from the oven.
I just could not resist and said it was time to finish getting dressed for this elegant dinner, and asked him to join me in our large walk-in closet. It was so sweet to see him so demure, quiet, relaxed, calm as I selected a dress for myself and asked him point black which dress he would like to wear.
We laid them on the bed and back to my dresser. The kidding had moved to more of a “are we really doing this?” apprehension from him so I kept it light and fun and joked while reminding him again “it’s just us“.
I put on a full slip, I gave him a half slip and lacy camisole. Next were nude lace-top thigh highs for me and same in barely black for my husband. My heart was rushing to see him in my lingerie. We then put on the dresses. I sent to the closet and found slight heel for me and sling-back flats for him to give extra room around his heel for his size; size 11 (US) to fit my ladies size 10s (US).
I then got my jewellery box and we just had fun and did it up, way up. Rings, bracelets, necklaces, watches, and my bower earrings clicked to his lobes and they stayed in place, looking like they were in holes.
Back at the vanity unit, I sat and he watched me brush out and style my hair with hairspray, then some perfume. We switched places and I brushed out his hair and styled it into a cut flip on top with bangs and did a hair clip up on one side and long over his ears on the other. Lots of hairspray to hold that look and then perfume spritz to neck hair and wrists. He stood up and we were side by side looking in the large mirror and the more I smiled. So did he finally.
Into the kitchen and we plated the dinner, poured more wine, came out to the dinning table and sat. Some romantic, candles, fireplace, music, rain, and there’s my husband in a Lauren rayon flowered step-in sheath dress with 3/4 sleeves zipped up in back, and he looks so cute – very feminine – very much like a woman, and he’s okay with this?!?! Wow!
We ate, we talked, we laughed, he listened, we smiled, he slowed down from his usual kinetic pace to be so relaxed and calm. He got me second helpings from the kitchen, he stood and walked and sat again so calm and slower paced. It was obvious he was very much okay with being in full lingerie and a dress with make-up jewellery – his hair styled nails and perfume. We had dessert on the couch with coffee. Then more wine as just kept talking.
My main comment on the couch was, “we have GOT to do this again ok?” He smiled and agreed. I think he felt a bit uneasy but then felt safe and secure, not teasing, no mocking, just reassuring him that it’s okay to like lovely clothes and a quiet evening. I kept reminding him it was good for him to experience first hand how I feel when I’m all dressed up and out for a special evening.
I’ll never forget, we finished in the living room with me reminding him that these clothes make me feel VERY sexy. And I asked him flat-out, “do you feel sexy too like this?” And he smiled and said he did, and with that we exited to the bedroom for a few hours of several ‘firsts’ for our marriage.
We woke up next morning, I kept it light. I didn’t push it too much and after coffee and muffins I gently helped with make-up remover. We showered, put on our regular clothes for a nice relaxing Saturday.
Increasing my husband’s feminization
Let’s just say for now that after our first spa-day of crazy firsts with lots of experimenting, we had a very quiet 3 or 4 days to not talk much about all we did and just kind of process it, think about it a lot. Thankfully, his embarrassment and feeling awkward was easily smoothed over by my kind words and telling him how much I love him and how we have this new situation of the house to ourselves and it’s completely okay to try some new things. Stuff like that.
We’re at the place now where I no longer help dress him. He does it all by himself. The extent he decides to go to on any given day I leave up to him. So some days it’s panties and bra, skinny jeans and a knit top, no full make-up just some lipstick and maybe he touches up his lashes a bit with a little mascara, and just small earrings and thin watch.
He still works from his office here in our home above the garage, usually 2 or 3 days a week from 9am-3pm remote connect to his firm’s network. So most of those days I love to see him take such care to have a very “office” business professional look with either a skirt-blouse-blazer or classic dress with a sweater. He’ll do full make up on “work days” and I’ll either bring up lunch to the loft and eat with him, or he’ll come down and into the house and we eat on the deck or the patio. So fun to walk in quietly on him from behind to see bra-slip-camisole straps showing through under a light thin and airy blouse across his back. Hair up in a twist and scrunchy. My lovely little office gal.
I got very playful about a year ago when he was helping with house work, dusting, mopping the kitchen, vacuuming the carpet, and joked he could make good money with his own cleaning service, like Molly Maids here in The States. Long story short, we kidded a bit more and talked about it and I asked if we could role-play it sometime where he is at the front door arriving at his house cleaning job – our house – and I show him around, and leave him to it. I joked a lot about tipping him if he did a really nice job. So last Fall we went to WaitStuff.com and bought Edwards Garment Junior Cord Housekeeping Dress in light grey and white trim, white apron. And Payless had some cute white rubber soled white work-flats, so it’s very fun to once a week, usually Thursdays have him wear that with grey thigh-highs and I just imagine I have a real housekeeping service as I read a magazine or sew or paint and sip my coffee while he’s busy cleaning. Again, he’s so cute with hair up in twist and matching white scrunchy. I really want to take the role play to where I corner “her” accidentally in the bedroom while making the bed or cleaning the master bath and one thing leads to another, right? It’d be so fun to do it with my housekeeper then she has to get all straightened up again to finish work.
We have also settled into similar prep for our intimacy times. We’re both middle-aged so for me I have to use a good amount of K-Y because of my body dryness. I do that before we meet on the bed. We’re now at the place where he also wears and bra and sexy panty like me, AND he has his own tube of K-Y and gets himself very wet and slippery before coming to bed. I never even thought to finger him for all those years when the kids were living at home, and now the last couple years it’s become such a fun thing to sometimes panties to the side, sometimes over the panties and push them up inside too, and always start with one finger and then do two. The best thing is he is so kind and soft and smooth and gentle and takes his time with me since we’ve feminized him, and I love it. We talk more, we don’t rush, we really connect emotionally. I would never go back to how it was before.
My husband’s little clitty and pussy
He’s had 10 years of very low-testosterone and now for 7 years taking 5000mg of fenugreek capsules and progesterone cream-chest massage each day, his annual physical blood test shows him in the bottom 3% of testosterone. However, he now has elevated oestrogen levels. The good news is this menu of things has shrunk and softened his enlarged prostate (his doctor is glad to report) and he has also shrunk to just a little limp 2″ knob that disappears into lots of soft skin down in his panties. So we’ve come up with a few new things. Most fun has been the only way to climax is when he is relaxed on his back, legs wide apart and we gently use my vibrator. I told him it’s very much how a woman orgasms. He’s completely flaccid and with lots of practice now has that first major orgasm, sensation, but with patience (something we never had before) he can have a second and third wave wash over him. I encourage him with a “please coo and moan like me” and he does. Our routine now always finishes up in the bathroom getting ourselves back together, and my reward for him is a Gentle-Glide tampon and set the string very obvious showing outside the panty crotch or thong strap. He can take it out later before we go to bed for the night.
Tampons after intimacy opened up curiosity about maxi-pads. I’m way past menopause but I obliged his interests. We buy a 24 pack of Stay-Free each month and he’s really into the very convincing ‘V’ he shows when he flattens out between his legs with a pad wedged in tight panties. He’s got nothing down there. His little 2″ knob disappears back into the loose skin, so he’s tucked away all day. I suggested he add lavender body lotion in the pad before he pulls it in tight so he’ll feel all moist as a reminder. I do smile now to think as I head to the kitchen he’s so happy quiet nice calm relaxed fun to talk with and a good listener being girly feminine, so I do fun little shocks once in a while like asking, “is your pad nice and wet, do you want to change to a fresh one?” and things like that.
Let’s just say we have played around with so many things to try out that for us girls are just who we are and what we do. I have now added so many female routines to his routines too. I have yet to suggest something he did not agree to try with me.
Living in an FLR with a feminized husband
It’s been quite fun is to go away for a weekend as two girlfriends. Drive to Palm Springs, San Diego, Orange County, up to Santa Barbara wine country. We get a hotel Friday and Saturday nights. My husband leaves home as Mary and stays feminine the entire time from Friday morning until we’re back home Sunday night. He packs only his women’s clothing so there’s no chance for a safety net – he’s always Mary.
It’s always fun to go out to the garden and find ‘Mary’ trimming roses or other vines in cute white shorts showing panty lines, with bra and cami-straps peeking out of the tank top. He’s making pancakes , 7.30 am as I type. White terri-robe over tap pant and cami PJs he slept in, hair up in a twist with a scrunchy. He makes sure to always shave his face super close first thing after waking up. He was very fair blonde with only light facial hair, barely noticeable in the morning, but it is all white and grey now so it’s nice to see him for the first time when we wake up and he’s already smooth and Oil of Olay soft and smelling pretty.
Our FLR works because it’s real
I don’t think of myself as a mistress as I don’t order Mary around or require him to do things. I also don’t use any humiliation, in fact quite the opposite. All this has worked because I have always gone very slow, kind, easy pace, and never pushed for doing more – going further. My style has always been “honey, I so love you to wear these” or “it is so fun as a woman to do this“. And then I just gently and very lovingly offer the same to him, prod him along a bit with my patented assurance is always “hey it’s just us right?”
Because of our children, their partners, grandkids, and extended family we have zero plans for Mary to transition full-time. In so many circles of friends and families he’s actually become a much better and nicer husband. We keep this mostly around the house. We do go out in public as two women to shop, go to movies, dine out. It’s always 30 minutes or more from home so we don’t run into people we know.