Discipline and punishment is a difficult area in a loving FLR. I have a marriage based on love and the implicit agreement of the transfer of power to one person: me. So this gives me challenges.
I employ discipline and punishment to make it work as an FLR but I differentiate between them.
I must add before I explain that my views on this area are merely my own opinions based on what I have found works for me.
This article contain affiliate links – you’ll pay no more if you buy through these links and the commissions support my writing.
Discipline vs punishment in an FLR
In my world of Femdom and FLR, discipline is the method I use to maintain control in the relationship and punishment is the penalty mechansism I use when Alice shows a lack of discipline.
Punishment is often physical but may also be non-physical, a withdrawal of certain rights for example. Discipline is all about the rules and behaviours I expect which cement my authority but may also involve physical spanking.
Let me explain what I’m getting at by looking at each of the two areas separately.
How I use discipline in an FLR
Discipline is based on my husband Alice following my rules. Obviously the over-arching rule is that I am in charge and my decision is final. In practice our loving FLR has dialogue and even some negotiation. Alice is an intelligent sissy so can have opinions and ideas as well. I’ll look at each of my main discipline rules.
1 Enforced feminisation
Alice has to present as a girl in the home. I know many FLRs and femdom relationships don’t use feminisation but this is discipline rule number one for me. I expect her in female ‘wear’ at all times at home, female underwear outside and to have a female beauty regime.
I tell the full story of how I feminised my husband in my book shown below and available from Amazon and most online bookstores. Click on the cover images.
When I say female ‘wear’, I may actually want her naked for the day or evening but she has to wear high heels, wig and have her face and nails made up as a minimum. Maintaining this discipline establishes my authority and control since Alice never actually wanted to be a girl although she has become accustomed to it over time.
Exaggerated feminisation accentuates her submissiveness and it’s a great discipline for her to take care of herself. Much of the female lifestyle has now become ingrained in her day to day life without any need for me to get involved.
2 Demonstrate respect
Alice must always show respect to me as the authority figure. This discipline involves curtseying, maintaining the home as a housewife, kneeling before me, massaging and washing my feet after a hard day and so on.
She must always call me Mistress or Mistress Alexa. I consider that her using my first name alone is disrespectful. The area of respect is what makes an FLR so rewarding to any alpha lady like me.
3 Maintenance spankings
This discipline enforces the difference in status. She has to drop her panties, raise her skirt (when dressed) and bend over. I used to put her over my knee but I can’t get such as good swing so I prefer her bent over.
I use hand, crop or wooden spatula. Besides being a necessary discipline I do so enjoy it. There’s something about the feeling of power when spanking a naughty girly husband.
4 Clitty control and feminisation
Males think their little willies are so important and masculine so it’s necessary to have this discipline to demonstrate that it’s insignificant. It’s the final element to ensure removal of nasty masculine traits once you’ve feminised him.
I renamed Alice’s little willy a clitty a long time ago and the whole area is her pussy. I ask Alice to tell me who owns it and tell me how feminine it is, especially with a cure little triangle of pubic hair. I’ve recently and belatedly come round to the benefits of a cock cage to further diminish it.
Using punishment
Alice isn’t a bad girl but at times she does forget that things aren’t equal in our relationship. I don’t punish her a lot these days as my discipline regime seems to work, on the whole. If I do feel that punishment is needed it could range from her having to stand in the corner, being made to sit on the floor and removing her clothing through to actual spanking.
I tend to spank that much harder if it’s for punishment and I may even spank or slap without warning. Without-warning spanks will be on her bum, legs, clitty/pussy or occasionally around her face. I never kick but I do hit her with my open hand on her clitty through her panties if she’s been naughty, usually talking back to me or making excuses.
Generally I prefer to inform her that she’s been bad and tell her to get the wooden spoon or spatula or crop and then she has to present her bared bum for punishment.
Discipline and punishment work together
I prefer to focus on discipline to make our FLR work smoothly. As a happily married couple, our FLR provides the framework for our daily lives. As the leader it falls on me to make sure that we don’t stray from the discipline rules that make it work successfully. Alice may moan at times but fully accepts that in the end that I’m right to operate it the way I do.
Discipline and punishment is a difficult area in a loving relationship but it’s necessary in an FLR to enforce the transfer of power to the lady of the house. That would be me.
Let me know in the comments about the punishments you receive from your mistress or if you’re a mistress, what you use.
And please leave me a donation — it will contributes to my writing about forced feminisation and FLRs and your donations can be anonymous.
[wpedon id=8327]
When I was formerly an owned sissy, my owner dished out a severe, strict, humiliating punishment on me if I were to put a ladder/run in my pantyhose. Her persistent punishment for this infraction worked well, as I learned quickly to keep my pantyhose run free. I hated that particular punishment. I came to appreciate punishment as it definitely helped with my sissy training.
Punishments reinforce behaviour. It’s important as I’ve found too
We don’t have a full time FLR, partly because we have children, it’s about a weekend a month that we have time just to ourselves. I find starting with an over the knee hand spanking then cane over a desk is essential to setting my husband’s status for the time we are alone. It’s not just the pain but the marks which show he’s no longer my equal. I also make him wear women’s knickers until the marks have fully faded. The way that he becomes unable to look me in the eye shows me that I’ve become the head of our household and it then just feels natural to adopt the dominant role we’ve agreed I should have.
Yes, it’s not possible until they’ve grownn and moved out. In the meantime, why not have the FLR in the bedroom at night and make your husband wear knickers more often?
I think that part of the point I’m making is about practicality. Even bedroom only would need to be more restricted than normal for us if the children were home, and I do feel that it would be disturbing, particularly for a son to find his father taking a role which is the reverse of an old fashioned husband. I’d worry that later we may feel guilt if the childrens’ life choices might be due to the trauma.
But I also question whether 24/7 should be seen as the best, or only true way. Many women reading your site and books will be put off indulging in an evening of cross dressing and discipline if they think there will be an inevitable slippery slope through Locktober to TPE. 24/2 or even 24/1 can be fulfilling, empowering and deeply binding for a couple. The days of FLR are positive, but also the other days, especially if the wife’s rule relaxes into a true equality, which society presents as the ideal, but is never achieved by women who don’t take full authority at least some of the time.
We don’t let our grown upchildren know what’s going on, let alone younger ones
I lost my wife 5 years ago and while she was not dominant she was friends with Madam Dawson who was the dominant I would visit and work for. I still see Madam Dawson from time to time and there is allways plenty of real housework to do in a maid uniform with a suitable reward with a riding crop before I leave. I love the uniform and the work
Sorry to hear about your wife. Gald you can still do sissy things
Hi Lady Alexa, I just read your posting and immediately stood to attention reflecting how fortunate Alice is to have you to provide for all her needs. My standing is a slight exaggeration as I’m caged by choice, my wife has no knowledge of it nor interest in a FLR nor in a submissive lifestyle for me, I am jealous of Alice. Alice, say thank you and be grateful, very grateful lucky Alice.
Yes, I’ll tell her to thanks me in a few minutes
Hi Lady Alexa,
I am actually a man who got breast implants 600CCs. I measure a 42 DD. they are 5 months old. I love them
OK. And?
Todd has muscular legs, he looks so cute feminized in a skirt! I used to make him remove all his pubic hair, but thanks to your input I find a triangle landing strip even more feminine looking above his clit. Todds paddlings are on the bare behind with panties off, my sister and a few female friends have gotten to witness his discipline. Todds erections are immediately gone when the paddling starts, so that adds to his humiliation, a weeping red-ass husband with no erection!! He has a foot fetish, so it’s easy to get him hard when I want him hard by asking to have my bare feet rubbed and smelled. I don’t have to ask to have our lovemaking mess locked up, he knows it’s expected every time or no more orgasms for him. I love making him strip naked with other women present, a woman in clothing is clearly in charge of a man who strips naked on command. I’m considering making Todd give oral pleasure to my friend Barbs bisexual husband, just so he can fully appreciate being a girl.
Oh my gosh oh my gosh.
I would so like to hear from you again Colleen, johnsk49@yahoo.com
Colleen,
My Discreet Owner, i am her sissy gurl. i am also shaved completely in my private areas. My male pussy, ovaries and little clitty are shaved completely bare. Above my clitty is a very feminine patch of hair trimmed in a triangle. Very feminine looking. My doctor once commented about it during my annual physical and i replied my wife who is very oral, doesn’t like much hair down there or i am out of luck. Actually, we are older so my cliity for penetration is practically useless, but i still have as she calls it, female ejaculations.
Today is Monday. Starting the week with my wife’s panties. I am truly not liking this routine but I don’t dare complain. This 3 day a week situation is permanent as a result of my questioning her authority. I know if I complain again, I can expect stricter rules
My Wife was apparently pissed off that I asked her to reconsider wearing panties to the office. After She had to time think about it, She has now decided I am to wear them 3 days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I think I’m learning it’s not a good idea to question Her authority
Today my wife gave a pair of her panties to wear to the office. I made the mistake of asking her to reconsider. Her response was to ask me if I wanted to wear her panties every day as opposed to the twice a week she had in mind. I backed down and apologized and put them on as she watched to make sure my office clothes were put on over her panties. I could feel myself blush as the humiliation sunk in
david
I think my wife is catching on to this idea of FLR. Today I was told to tend to the laundry. I have NEVER EVER done a load of laundry in my life in our entire marriage! It felt really weird to do it. She was gracious enough to guide me through it, but I fear this may be the next level after placing her hand on my balls for hours at a time with absolutely no fondling or teasing. During this whole ordeal, she had me place two pairs of Her panties in my underwear drawer. I’m really getting nervous about this whole thing
Good
In 2002 my Wife began demanding I always wear a chastity device. I had failed to get hard for for sex so she knew I had masturbated. She’s demanded it ever since and has kept me locked as long as four months.
More and more sex has become me orally serving her while she squeezes, pulls, and even spanks my balls to make me perform.
I’ve accepted her authority.
Good
My wife is beginning to assert ownership of my body. First of all, I am required to sleep naked while she wears anything she wishes, some alluring some not so much. This morning reached a new level before rising. She decided to place her hand on my balls, no fondling or anything remotely resembling teasing. She just rested her hand on my balls and left her hand there for over an hour. After about 20 minutes, I thought I couldn’t take it anymore but her remained resting motionless on my balls When she finally removed her hand. I was required to lick the precum that was all over her hand and was allowed to writhe in my frustration for about two minutes and the was told to rise for the day. I tend to think this will be one of her favorite torments
My wife ties a long string around my “Willy “ and leads me around in the nude to point out places where I didn’t clean an area properly. She’ll be casually talking on her cell and sometimes yanks hard on the string when she sees an area where I didn’t clean properly. That string is always tied around my Willy even when I am completely dressed. We once jogged in a park and I said something which made her angry. So she reached into my crotch and pulled out the string and started to run. Naturally stretching my Willy and I dared not fall behind !
I send my husband to work with panties and panty hose under his suit. At home he’s in a polo type shirt and panties or a skirt and blouse. If he’s having a spanking, the panties come off, he lifts the skirt and bends over a desk.
Whatever he’s wearing stays on if my girlfriends stop in. If he’s in a skirt, I’ll have him show his panties to them.
I keep him completely shaved in his pubic area. Maybe I’ll try the triangle.
I’m thinking of using a small remote control dildo in him but have not yet done so.
Good to hear Ani. I think the little pubic triangle is cute and feminine on a husband. Try getting him to lift his skirt for your girlfriends without panties on
Hello Lady Alexa!
I love how you are thinking, i am being kept in chastity by my girlfriend, i am not allowed to masturbate, to touch myself, to ejaculate or even to feel any pleasure for my penis. She is just milking my prostate every 2 months
I hope it keeps you pliant
As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your lifestyle, Lady Alexa…reading your writings reminds me of my place and helps to keep me properly focused on my position in my own FLR.
Respectfully,
sissy jamieanne
I love reading your posts Lady Alexa. I recently became very lax in my efforts and thought my wife didn’t notice. She soon put me right by taking me to get both my nipples pierced-I won’t be making that mistake again!
You bet your sweet nips..
Sore nips at the moment
Lady Alexa… also the drawing of the ‘husbette’ at the window doing his dishes has always been one of my favorites! Glad you used it here to remind me. I love the fact SHE makes him keep the curtains OPEN!
DO WISH a touch up version showing the male girl wearing a bra were done. Especially since Your recent article on the necessity of males being kept in proper breast training as reminder their masculinity is no longer of import and needs to be hidden or negated.
Delightful to contemplate the other neighborhood Women seeing the husband so feminized both in appearance and in function… and then to imagine them thinking or planning,
“Hmmmm… interesting idea…. I think it’s about time I start making a few changes in MY MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP….”
And so it spreads!
ohh yes……………
Time indeed
*tick* – *tock* – *tick* – *TOCK* – *TICK*
BRINNNNGGGG!!!
Sorry sir…. i mean MISS!
The time has now run out on your patriarchy… it is now 12:00 AM (Apres-male) Greenwich Gynarchy Time.
Get up, put on a work frock and finish putting away last evening’s dishes, straighten vacuum and dust the living room, then dress in the chic French maid’s you’ll find Your Female Master just bought you and left hanging next to the new vanity She had made for you, so you are presentable when She awakes…
DO HAVE HER BREAKFAST READY BY 7:45 AM… or suffer the consequences, young lady!
I am totally in awe of you Lady A and love and respect and agree totally to your thinking – Sophie
Lady A wrote: and we male girls had better read and incorporate
“Males think their little willies are so important and masculine so it’s necessary to have this discipline to demonstrate that it’s insignificant. It’s the final element to ensure removal of nasty masculine traits once you’ve feminised him. I renamed it a clitty a long time ago and the whole area is her pussy. I ask Alice to tell me who owns it and tell me how feminine it is, especially with a cure little triangle of pubic hair. ”
Amazingly important in that the entire male concept of male ego is diffused. For eons males would base their false sense of superiority by defining their organ as the supreme source and indication of superiority and power. In one fell swoop Woman has redefined it as an inferior ‘insignificant imitation of what the Female has.
‘Penis envy’ swiftly dispensed into a sex organ whose nature begs to be mocked by a more perfect and superior sex. In the future the very concept of what makes a male a male shall never have connotations of pride again… but only an amusingly appropriate modicum of deserved shame in comparison to that which defines the Female.
The irony is precious…
Thanks for explaining this subtle but important distinction.
love your thinking………………