The most common question I get in my inbox is from males who want to know about finding a dominant woman for an FLR and/or a forced feminisation relationship.
There are lots of variations of FLR relationship and lots of variations as to what males and females are looking for. However, here’s a post which looks at how to find a dominant lady for an FLR in general terms.
What a submissive male needs to think of is what type of relationship they want. Are you looking for a long-term relationship or maybe you want to experiment first and see if you like it? Maybe you just want some fun from time to time before returning to your normal male lifestyle?
This post contains affiliate links. You won’t pay any more than going direct and the small commission helps me to keep writing about forced feminisation.
I get so many emails from wannabe sissies asking how they can find a woman to feminise them. Wrong question. You need to find a strong alpha woman who likes being in charge. They may then have an interest in feminising you as I did with my husband. Male feminisation is NOT our prime driver. Being in control is.
This post deals mainly with finding a longer-term female-led relationship where the female controls most aspects of the relationship, including her male partner’s clothing.
So here are my 9 tips for finding a dominant female for a true female-led relationship.
TIP 1
CONCENTRATE ON A LONGER-TERM RELATIONSHIP
My first tip is that it’s probably going to be very difficult to understand for some male. If you’re looking for a woman who wants to play occasionally at forced feminisation and femdom, what’s in it for her? That’s all about the male’s needs not the woman’s.
That wouldn’t be very dominant if it was all about the male’s needs, would it? Topping from the bottom they call it. The only women you’ll find for being your personal domme is a professional domme who’ll charge you.
If occasional play is what you want, go online, find someone advertising nearby and pay them for it.
And also remember; you’re not a real submissive if this is what you want. It’s just a game for you, a release from your normal male lifestyle that you will go back to.
Or you can always read my fiction novel A Very Dominant Woman about an alpha lady who liked to feminise men. But remember, it’s fiction. I feminised my husband but there was a reason for this and I have no interest in feminising any other man. What’s in it for me, remember?
TIP 2
BE HONEST. ARE REALLY A SUBMISSIVE? OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY?
Following on from Tip 1, you really need to ask yourself this question. I understand that being submissive is a turn on for people, I see it in my own husband and other males I’ve met. So naturally you will want to experience the humiliation of being dressed as a girl and to be told what to. I get that. I use that.
But, be honest with yourself. Are you really a submissive who is willing to hand over control of all aspects of your life to a woman for ever, or for a long period? Or do you just want to play sometimes?
Do you actually lock up your own cock?
Answering this truthfully will help you to find the woman you need.
TIP 3
A DOMINANT WOMAN IS A NORMAL PERSON, NOT YOUR PERSONAL FANTASY
Just because a lady has dominant tendencies it doesn’t mean that she is always thinking only about humiliating and feminising men. The news is that she is not. We live most of our life doing everything what everyone else does. We’re normal.
Sorry about this, but we don’t go around in black leatherand knee-high boots with our tits bulging out. Not unless we want to play at a club or at home.
Mostly we wear clothes that any other woman would wear and we shop at the same women’s clothes shops.
So forget the fantasies of my novels and the images on Pinterest. They are fetish fantasies that we might also enjoy from time to time. But mostly we have other more mundane things to do, like working, eating, visiting family and so on.
TIP 4
WHERE TO GO ABOUT FINDING DOMINANT WOMEN
Tip 3 explained that we are normal, o where do you think we can be found? That’s right, the same places that you can meet any other woman : at work, in the gym, in the local reading club, in the supermarket, at the train station, in the pub, in a restaurant. Anywhere that’s normal and everyday, and this includes vanilla non-fetish dating sites.
Do you think that I met Alice on Fetlife? In a Fetish event or a femdom munch? No, we met in London at a meetup at a place with mutual vanilla friends. We didn’t even know we liked this lifestyle at the time.
Of course, that doesn’t preclude you finding a dominant woman via Fetlife or at a Fetish Event. It’s always a good idea to use these platforms. But, don’t forget to use normal dating sites and to be subtle about what you are looking for.
You can list things in a normal dating site of what type of relationship you’re looking for whilst being subtle. Such as:
- You’re looking for women who knows what she wants.
- You like women who are natural leaders. Alpha females.
- You like women who make decisions.
- Refer to yourself as a beta male, you’re not the macho type.
- Say you’re someone who likes to care about his appearance. You like nice clothing and keeping fit.
- You are someone who likes to ensure his partner is looked after around the home. You do housework and can cook.
- Say you prefer to put the women’s needs first.
TIP 5
DON’T APPEAR NEEDY OR DESPERATE
I have news for you. It’s not all about you as a sissy. Maybe you’re keen to find a dominant lady, keen to be feminised and you want to be in a FLR more than anything. Good, but it’s not all about you.
A dominant woman has her needs too and a femiised man is not number 1 in her list. If it’s there, it’s a way down the list. Be patient.
For any relationship, you have to think about what the other person in the relationship wants. In an FLR and feminisation relationship it’s the same, it has to be mutually beneficial to you both. So, to have what you want, an FLR and to be feminised, you will need to give a lot back to your lady.
The minute you start whinging that you want her to feminise you and you start telling her what you want her to do to you then you’ll lose her. Don’t just flounce about in front of her in pink frilly frocks thinking how pretty you are and being pleased with yourself. What’s in it for her?
Don’t nag her that you want to be in chastity. It may excite you, but what exactly is in it for her? She’s going to want some sexual excitement too, it’s not all about you. What are you going to do for her when you’re all excited and locked up in your little pink chastity device? What’s in it for her?
Instead, you need to demonstrate that the relationship is of a great benefit to her too. A dominant woman has to be in charge and to decide what is going to happen, not the supposed sissy. If chastity is your thing then you’re going to have to satisfy her big time in other ways. Ways she wants, not you. Ask her what she wants.
There are going to be many times when you really don’t want to change the bed, clean the floor, do the washing, make dinner, clean up after. You’re tired too, you want to watch the football, have a beer. Nope. I’m afraid that when you take the job as submissive in an FLR, this is what you do. Only after do you get the benefits.
TIP 6
DON’T CONFUSE SUCCESSFUL WOMEN WITH THEM BEING DOMINANT
When looking for a dominant women for an FLR, remember that being the dominant in an FLR is different to being successful in a career. Apply this point to males and you’ll see what I mean. Why are we as women any different? Of course, it’s likely that a true dominant is also successful in her career. But it’s not a given.
Look for a woman who is comfortable and confident as herself as opposed to just confident in her career.
TIP 7
LOOK FOR A WOMAN WITH AN OPEN APPROACH TO LIFE
Look at a woman’s attitude to life. Does she have a ‘can-do’ approach to life? Is she open to new experiences? Is she open to new ideas and approaches? This is a great indicator that she will be less tied to the social norms and likely to be sexually and naturally dominant.
An open-minded lady will be far more open to activities such as cross dressing, spanking for example, and being in an FLR.
This is the true dominant woman.
TIP 8
DON’T CONFUSE AGGRESSION WITH DOMINANCE
Don’t confuse an aggressive woman with an assertive woman. In fact, aggression is often the result of someone covering up their lack of self esteem. Look for a woman with an assertive approach to decision making and life.
Assertive women know they are queens and have the confidence to expect respect and adoration.
TIP 9
YOU HAVE TO HAND OVER REAL CONTROL TO THE WOMAN IN A REAL-LIFE FLR
Be careful what you wish for in an FLR. I’m not talking about doing what she says during a role play. I’m talking about the D/S relationship being full time.
Decision making will become hers and hers alone. You will be having to do things you don’t want to. You will have to give in to her authority.
Chastity and wearing sexy female clothing is what many submissive men crave. But. In order to get this, if this is indeed what she wants, you have to hand over full control of everything.
Yes, this does include your clothing and how you dress. She may not want you in a pretty pink short maid’s dress with lots of frills. She probably won’t. Tough, she chooses and she may just want you in female trousers, or shorts. Or nothing.
Whatever she chooses, it’s not your decision.
Your body becomes hers. She owns you and what you do. Think about this for a moment. Those genitals hanging from between your legs may be attached physically, but they won’t belong to you anymore. Think about it.
FINDING A DOMINANT WOMAN
It is not our job as dominant women to play the dutiful dominatrix to fulfil our partner’s fantasies. In a real-life FLR, the fantasy side is only one part of the wider relationship and will be controlled by the woman.
A confident dominant woman will, however, care for her man and love him in return for his submission. His true submission, not an occasional role-play. We are independent, open-minded and we like to be in charge.
Let me know how you met, as submissive males and dominant ladies, living in your own FLR. tell me how close my own FLR is to your experiences.
Thanks
I live with a woman who I love but even though I do most if not all of the following she does not want to participate in a strong FLR. I don’t know what to do.
I already do :
I like to ensure she is looked after around the home.
I do almost all the housework and can cook if she lets me.
I always prefer to put the (her) women’s needs first.
I would like a women who knows what she wants (generally this would be for a woman over 40).
I like natural leaders. Alpha females.
Having a women make decisions is a relief in many ways.
Is my dream unreal?
Waiting to find the fitting FLR mate.
I hope you find what you’re lookimng for. Just be careful what you wish for
Time to find me a submissive male with enough money to chilllll😎
Hello and well met. After reading the entire article a couple of times, I have to say that I’m confused and concerned by the author’s approach to FLR. First, the dismissal of men who only want to play occasionally didn’t sit quite well with me. Shouldn’t we all have the right to ask for our D/s needs to be met the way it suits us? It seems like you’re all for women getting what they want, on their terms.
Also, the notion that men should completely suppress their desires and needs, and throw them out of the window is, quite honestly, concerning. If that’s what your vision of FLR is really about, then you’re looking for depressed, low self-worth, auto-destructive doormats, not human beings who want to have a fulfilling relationship laced with kinky activities.
In the tip No. 9, you paint a very bleak picture of FLR – complete and utter submission with 0 authority over one’s life for men and complete control for women. I don’t think that that’s the way actual BDSM relationships are supposed to work… There are negotiations, levels and types of power exchange, soft boundaries, hard boundaries, dominant’s duties, etc.
A BDSM relationship is constantly evolving, changing as partners get to know each other and themselves. Permissions can be given and revoked, deals altered, sessions made milder or harsher… This “give me everything right now and forever” attitude doesn’t sound good. Stripping a person of all of their agency in exchange for a vague hint that they might one day get one or two of their itches scratched is not healthy, it’s abuse. If the contract doesn’t satisfy both (or all) involved parties, then it’s not a good contract, it is, again, abuse masquerading as consent. And I doubt you want to condone abuse on your site.
If I misunderstood the message you wanted to convey, feel free to correct me. Finally, thank you for reading this comment.
You didn’t read it properly or read my other posts.As for men getting there D/s needs met occassionally, how does this suit a woman exactly? Your suggestion is that women should subsume their needs for a man? It seems you’re all for men getting what they want on their terms.
Passive male here, sorry for the rant…
I don’t identify as submissive, but I have a genuine desire to serve women, so much so I would be willing to become her property if I found someone I really cared about. Just wanting to empower a woman does that to me, though maybe it has something to do with me being a history buff (sometimes I like to think of it as reparations for injustices done to women in the past).
Why shouldn’t a man promise to obey his wife in his marriage vows if he wanted to? Men might gain some perspective, not to mention multi-tasking skills, if they were relegated to the kitchen for a generation or two.
I didn’t know what type of relationship I was designed for until I read about FLR, though I think it should be toned down for the average woman. More of a nuclear family but with the female at the head of the household, but with her specific needs in mind (pampering, even helping with her beauty regime…).
If you look at FLR sites it seems more for the male benefit than the female benefit. So start it small, just have women state their needs beforehand and accept nothing else–even if to start it’s just guys having to ask for permission to orgasm. It’s their bodies–every relationship should have that. Promising to put down the toilet seat would be another good starter point.
I feel feminism should have something specific like this in mind for boys–more towards the female benefit. If girls were taught to do all the pursuing, to propose marriage, etc we wouldn’t have all these incels, lonely people and it would get rid of catcalling. Then you’d just have to condition boys to become more appealing later in life to marriage conscientious women.
Boys might learn some perspective if they had to wash their girl classmates hair, wash lingerie in school. Maybe more women would stay married if her husband was also her manicurist lol. Personally, I would even be willing to learn how to give her a Brazilian so she wouldn’t have to pay someone (a man did it on Outlander).
Girls are our future leaders. They’re smarter, cooperative and more likely to divide resources more fairly. Boys need to be groomed not to get in the way. Otherwise we’ll never get out of this 9-5 5 days a week hierarchy, which I think women are better suited for since not all men have the social, emotional intelligence for it. But such men are suited to a life of servitude to women.
Boys should be told in school either work hard and earn that degree or be prepared to wash women’s underwear!
But in promoting FLR men shouldn’t be expected to hold full time jobs. That’s the woman’s responsibility now. The men need the time to keep the house tidy and still have the energy to pamper her when she gets back.
A good reason for this is men don’t get depressed doing housework like women do.
You’ve have to let boys keep their core masculine intact by still letting them go to the gym. Playing Mr. Mom can be masculine. I wouldn’t wear a dress in the kitchen, (would rather be kept naked), but a little casual role play here and there is fine if that’s what she wanted. I wouldn’t deprive any pleasure from it, but I’m confident in my masculinity to do it.
Not all boys will go for all this, of course, but I hope more women as FLR become more common will consider passive men as potential mates as they’re the ones who will be more willing to bend over backwards for you. Girls will continue to be raised as strong, independent types, but the definition of masculine will be expanded to include traditionally feminine traits.
Though I don’t want to be cuckolded, I see the irony. While I might not accept it I do understand sometimes women have these needs and that’s okay. As men we have to accept we don’t own women. I’m not into BDSM. but I think it’s important every woman be free to explore her erotic identity if she wants. It’s hard to maybe give up my equal rights for a woman, but I don’t want to become say a herbivore man when evolution through courting has made me to want to serve a higher power, knowing I am incomplete without it. I won’t consider myself inferior off the beat, but her something special, something to be revered, lifted up as that’s where I will get my self esteem. I’ll work hard for her, train like a bull, but most of all I won’t confuse servitude for emasculation. I still want to be a man for her and if she wants something more she’ll have to domesticate me first. Which I think would be part of the fun anyway.
Please allow me to again thank all of the Women who are posting. I am a 49 yr old man who is struggling with FLR. We are both dominant personalities but i give in more often – my wife never does and then she asks me to apologize even when I think I’m right. Anyway all of your points about making the relationship about Her has finally sunk in. It sounds easy enough but men are hardwired to be selfish. I am now doing what she wants for her and she is so happy with me. This started after I stopped being in panties and returned to my old behavior to the point we were screaming at each other nightly. She handed me panties last week and i knew what to do. I also started reading books on FLRs and reread many of your posts. I now understand my happiness is only found in her happiness. She is so happy with me now. Thank you all. I do have a question for Katrina, how did you unlearn the notion that women are submissive to men. My wife likes to rule but still has hardwired notions of male female roles.
Hi Chris, I am so glad you are submitting to your wife and putting her desires and happiness first. I am interested to see how your marriage progresses now that you are giving control to her!
I had to resolve within myself to change and be conscious of being the leader of our marriage. It did help that Selina wanted/ needed me to lead, but at times my old ways of thinking and behaving snuck back, sometimes without me being fully aware. A couple things that helped me were journaling daily and doing affirmations which helped change my mindset. I also read a lot of information on FLR’s, My style of leading is being confident, assertive, and using my femininity (which is a powerful tool) to guide Selina. I also decided early on that I wanted this to become a permanent lifestyle so was motivated to change. I had no desire to be a bitchy, domineering, dominatrix type which was my previous thought on how FLR’s were run. I fit my leadership style into my personality. I also took on the attitude that our marriage was about my needs/desires and let Selina know what was expected of her, period! I also learned that beneath my husband’s macho, men are in control attitude, men lead women attitude, was a very submissive, docile, man craving to be led by me. I love my husband very much and lead her in a loving yet firm manner. It’s been a process for sure. Reading Lady Alexa’s blog has been very helpful too! I hope this helps.
Ms. Katrina, thank you so much for your time and response. Selina is very lucky. I welcome any recommendations on books you found helpful. The strange thing is when I’m in panties I am a totally different person and my wife loves it and honestly I love the person i become when pantied, but I do wish I didn’t need panties to become a more loving man. My wife has me in high cut gold panties with rose pedals ando a small bow so it’s hard to back talk when I’m like that. I am still struggling to make intimacy about her and not me so I welcome anyone’s thoughts on that. I am also working in holding myself accountable when I slip back to my old ways. It really is hard for an alpha male to yield authority to a woman but it really is for the best and the woman can determine how and where she wants to use that power. Again you are an amazing role model for women and men and I am so very grateful. Thank you
Magnificent post Lady Alexa. Brings home just how normal a feminised FLR can be. The “normal ness” of some of the other ladies replies underlines it all. Your mantra that it is all about Her really is the cornerstone. Thank You so much x x x
Holly
I hope it helps
Hello Alexa and others,
I thought I would share my thoughts on the subject and our recent vacation. From my own perspective and other women I know/have known I think it would be too much to expect to find a woman who wants to feminize a man as a goal, other than by profession. It is possible to find a relationship where some common ground can be found to the benefit of both. I do not consider myself normally dominant nor am I interested in a bi-sexual relationship. However I have found some enjoyment and appreciation in our relationship by developing agreed on rules and roles that work for us that include his dressing with women’s clothes, growing and styling (curling iron) his hair, keeping his nails filed and painted, etc. Daily life includes women’s jeans, capris or shorts (thanks for summer finally being here) and blouses or pull over tops, makeup, panties and bras. Depending on who we socialize with, I occasionally tell him to skip the bra but not always.
Holidays are an exception and sometimes my excuse to push him a little beyond the norm. I think reading these blogs might have motivated me a little more than usual!! Example was a few weeks ago we took a 5 day driving trip to do some sightseeing in California. Two days before we left I started dropping hints about skirts and heels. He was nervously excited but not fully onboard. I reminded him about how often we have people in stores and other places greet us as “hello ladies”, maybe because of his hair, sandals, etc, but not otherwise trying to pass as a woman. So what if he were seen in a skirt and heels!! Yea, I know it is not that easy but I told him I wanted him dressed that way in the car for travelling and we would see about the sightseeing days.
The night before we left, as we were packing I gave him a gift. It was a new bra, black lace, 38C with cups. His other bras are all unlined so do not protrude and are not too noticeable under a sweater or thick shirt. This was fun to watch as he happily put it on and then realized how it looked under a thin blouse, especially with cups. Anyway, yes he wore it and yes, it was noticeable but it was a bit chilly along the coast where we were so on sightseeing trips, he was wearing thicker tops and sweaters with woman’s jeans. He was obviously conscience of his protruding breasts and often tried to hide but over the 5 days, he did get more used to it. He also, with not too much whining, wore the skirt and heels (and bra under a top) while travelling, including gas stations, and hotels. As he probably passed as a woman at a distance, we did not get any complaints or rude comments, just a few looks from confused people. I do not expect him to wear the bra with cups as a usual thing, but we both know it is there and I may tell him to wear it at any time, just to keep him wondering!!
Hello Sheila and thank you for your very interesting comments and observations. Your point is very good regarding a woman who wants to feminise a man as her goal. So very true. Feminisation of your partner is an element of something wider and mutual. There are many benefits to ‘encouraged’ male feminisation but it’s the benefits that are the goal rather than feminisation per se. At least for a woman.
This is an excellent and very important point Lady Alexa. I would not have considered feminizing Selina had it not benefitted me and our marriage. Having a sweet, obedient, submissive husband who puts my needs, wants, and desires first makes feminizing him desirable to me. Eliminating the macho, controlling, selfish, his needs first attitudes are wider benefits to me and the marriage. If a boyfriend/husband seeks or desires to be feminized it must be for the woman’s and relationships benefit and not his selfish, sexual desires or it won’t happen.
Exactly Katrina
1. Selina and I were married 20 + years before beginning a FLR lifestyle.
2. Selina wanted to play for many years., but beneath that was a submissive side that needed to be brought out.
3. I am a normal woman. Wife, have a job in retail, lived according to societies rules, just lived a regular life. There was a dominant part of my personality inside of me waiting to be brought out. I am still developing it and early on in our FLR there were times it stretched my comfort zone.
4. I was right there married to Selina for 20+ years so she didn’t have to look.
5. Selina was needy in respect to wanting her sexual desires met through bedroom games that I eventually stopped playing. She introduced me to your blog and once I learned and realized what a real life FLR could be it became about my needs.
6. I have always been good at my job and enjoy what I do but wouldn’t be considered successful by societies standards. I earn a good but not great salary, am a good manager, but haven’t and won’t be a ladder climber who aspires to reach the top. I consider myself to be a success because I enjoy my job, the people I work with, and look forward to each day.
7. I do have an open approach to life although I wasn’t raised that way. Reading your blog at first was eye opening and intruiged me enough to give living a FLR lifestyle a try.
8. I am not nor ever been an agressive woman. Assertive yes, someone who knows what they want, yes. I personally find the agressive women I know to be unhappy people compensating for something they lack through agression.
9. At the beginning I realized I had to assert control over Selina or it would be a bedroom game again. I stated in my earlier post some ways I took control and as she learned I was making the rules she relinquished any semblence of control she thought she had. I don’t make EVERY decision for her but she knows I am the leader of our marriage.
I hadn’t expected my female readers to do your own lists based on mine but it’s brilliant. Thank you for adding to my post with great replies
Of all the wonderful lessons one statement can be made to summarize them:
Decision making will become hers and hers alone. You will be having to do things you don’t want to. You will have to give in to her authority.
This is what a sissy must do. This is me. sissyteri
Indeed it is what a sissy and any male should do
We have an eleven year marriage. For the last three we have lived in FLR. Her car needed a new set of tires. We went to the tire shop together. As we were about to enter the shop I asked her is she wanted me to talk to the sales guy. Well, she stopped and gave me a very hard look as she said, “You will never usurp my authority. Ever! I will always deal with sales people and I will make whatever decisions need to be made, without your help! If I want your thoughts or opinion I’ll ask for it. Otherwise, you will simply remain quiet while I make the transactions! And that is how it has been ever since. I simply stand by and listen in case she wants my input, which is almost never!
That sounds good but has she put you in girly clothes yet?
Alexa, some very good aspects that profile the characteristics of women who are most likely for FLR. My husband Mike (Michelle) was VERY surprised to find that I wanted to do FLR once our empty nest stage of life offered the privacy and freedom to pursue some big changes in our lifestyle. I thought it would be fun to comment on ME alongside your post:
1- We have a loving committed marriage of 30+ years, so long-term relationship, CHECK 2- Our FLR was agreed to be everyday life submission for Mikey, not just “playing”, CHECK 3- I’m a very normal/average gal, wife, HR corporate career, CHECK 4- Mike (Michelle) did not have to “find” me – I was fully committed to us, CHECK 5- My husband has never been needy/desperate, making it easier to pursue FLR, CHECK 6- My success in professional business is not that I’m inherently dominant, CHECK
7- We both have very open interests in lifestyle, so FLR was possible/intriguing, CHECK 8- I am completely NOT aggressive, my FLR “dominance” is controlled/mellow, CHECK 9- My lifestyle control for us was gradual/progressive and complete compliance, CHECK
So our empty nest FLR works great and has fully settled into who we are and how we live together. No shame/humiliation/duress and loving/caring/supporting from me, but also 100% crystal clear that I am in charge and my husband defers in all ways to me, and him being in feminine Michelle daily mode/appearance/feelings is the BEST way to guarantee and sustain our new positions. A girly-feminine demure relaxed husband is wonderful!!
Nice to hear we’re in agreement Cathy. I think it shows that a genuine flr works
So Cathy, you were the one who brought up the idea of an FLR with your husband? Wow. Usually it’s the other way around.
I think that depends on your definition of an FLR Emily. My FLR is a very clear relatively clear and explicitly agreed version which included my husband’s feminisation. I would suggest many many vanilla relationships are also FLR but implicit
This was an awesome article. So many things that needed to be said. I love how you emphasis the fact that if you want a serious long term FLR, you need to look beyond the erotic fiction. Feminization fiction is nice to read from time to time but, you cant use it as guide to finding a dominant woman in the real world. In fact, using normal vanilla methods is the best way to find or meat one.
I’m glad you liked the article Emily. Feminisation fiction is great fun and can be exciting, but as you imply, it’s just fiction. In the real world we have to make compromises and behind the veil of FLR and forced feminisation, we are all otherwise perfectly normal.
Emily did you mean “meat one” or “meet one?” Seems to me there could be a BIG difference between the two!
Hi! Mine and my husband, Selina’s FLR was not planned. We had been married over 20 years in a traditional marriage before starting our FLR lifestyle. I was quite honestly not interested as it was a bedroom game for my husband with the sole purpose for him of getting his rocks off. It wasn’t until I read your blog entry, Five Male Changes for a Successful FLR that my eyes were opened up and my mind changed. His agenda was definitely topping from the bottom, but once we started living a FLR on a trial basis I quickly established that if this was going to work the relationship was about MY wants, needs, desires, rules being followed. While he desired to dress up in the privacy of our home, wear what he wanted, when he wanted, and be his typical male self outside the home…what he got was feminization on my terms! In the privacy of our home? Nope, sorry he had to wear articles of women’s clothing outside the home, makeup, nail polish, exposure to my friends. He wanted to come home and plop on the sofa and watch sports…nope, you’re wearing lingerie and cleaning, cooking, giving me massages, footrubs, servicing me with your tongue…no more sports, no more surfing the internet. He wanted to go golfing or hang out with his buddies on the weekend…guess again dear, we’re going shopping, you’re taking makeup lessons, voice training, practicing female mannerisms, going to see a movie, walk in the park, play, of course after your chores are done. He wanted a FLR, well he got it! On my terms! He learned quickly that this was about me, being led by me, submitting to me, satisfying me sexually. Guys, the best advice I can give is to genuinely, sincerely, honestly make the relationship about her wants, needs, desires without hidden agendas or trying to top from the bottom. Allow yourself to go wherever she takes you even when it’s in a different direction or further than you may want to go. Put her first in all ways and you just may get what you want!
I’m honoured you were influenced by my blog. I started the blog to document a rel-life FLR and hopefully to put it out as something more normal than the stories and extreme sites. I know I’m also guilty of writing exaggerated novels abut the forced fem and flr lifestyle but I’m allowed to be a hypocrite a bit. I love to read about how you developed your lifestyle Katrina and pushed back against the ‘topping from the bottom’ all about me thing that some males like.I’ve had little problems with Alice being a bit too keen on how she felt in a pretty skirt also but they soon learn. I like your sign off -‘put her first in all ways and you just may get what you want’- wonderful.
This is awesome!! Katrina or Lady Alexa, would either of you be interested in mentoring my wife? Someone to bounce ideas on and/or directional support from other FLR women?
You can ask her to write to me on ladiesontop@mail.com. Make sure it is her who writes and not you pretending to be her – I get a lot of this and I can always tell it’s not a real woman as men always do the same three things which tells me it’s really a man – which I’m not about to broadcast here. Although sometimes I let it go for the benefit of the blog comments
Hi P, as I’ve mentioned before the thing that opened my eyes was reading Five Male Changes for a Successful FLR. You don’t mention if she wants to live a FLR or it’s your idea/fantasy. There is so much information in Lady Alexa’s blog that it would be a great starting point for her. Each FLR is unique and what works for Selina and I may not work for you and your wife. I’d be happy to answer any questions through the blog.
Hi Katrina, hopefully the world will have all feminist governments and males will be naked in a cfnm world exposed for females of all ages to objectify, hopefully it won’t be long.
Wonderful honest Gent 54 y.o in NY and im seeking a loving FLR.
swmseekingflr @ gmail.com
It’s a blog not a dating site 🙄
Both of my FLR was not planned. I was hoping for a dominant female. She wasn’t interested. When she dressed me up to go shopping at Holloween. It caused her to like the idea.
My second one after my first passed away two years. She read my journal. She became inquisitive. Now it’s been three years.
Katie Lynn Lyndsey
So like ours. Not planned just evolved
Sorry your partners are gone.Im an older submissive make and haven’t been able to find my dominate female.wish you luck
Dear Katie,
I consider myself a beta male seeking an assertive woman for an FLR. I’m shy and get nervous,I’m 61. I just don’t know how to find a woman that wants an FLR. I’ve been on fetlife to no avail. Any suggestions? I’m kind of a loner and quiet.