Forget the lurid fetish sites, the most effective way to feminize your husband is through a mix of care, love, persuasion and firmness.
The feminisation of a male partner has to be to the benefit of the mistress and not the male being feminised. In many cases, the male is a willing participant but in some, such as my own husband, the male is reluctant.
Since my relationship is real and practical, I had to and have to be conscious of not damaging what we have by being overly assertive or demanding. Anyone in my position faces real challenges when you are feminising your husband and living in a Female-Led Relationship.
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My FLR dreams
My ultimate FLR dream is to have my sissy husband Alice present as a girl 24/7. I don’t enjoy seeing her in male trousers and I’m uncomfortable and anxious unless she’s in a skirt or a pretty dress.
At this stage of our lives however, her full-time feminisation to the external world is probably not going to happen for several reasons. I can, however, push her feminisation and exposure to new sissy experiences a lot further still, I’m sure. And they don’t necessarily need to be to the outside world.
And this got me thinking about where we are. Although I’ve written a book called How I Feminized My Husband which detailed the process and stages I took in transforming my typical male husband into a sissy girl, I wanted to explain my approach in terms of my programme of forced feminisation.
How to feminise your husband
Programme might be a fancy word to describe how I feminised my husband as I didn’t exactly sit down and write a project plan. Everything developed organically as the world of FLR and a feminisation opened up for us.
But I reallise now looking back, I had an approach that worked and took a deeply reluctant husband into a completely new world. I transformed him from a typical male into a girly sissy and exposed him to an entirely new set of feelings and experiences. he loves them.
Here are my three key observations on what I did and why it worked within my feminisation programme.
Make his feminisation participatory
Being a bully is not something I would recommend. Fetish fiction and Twitter posts promote this idea but it’s no more than a fantasy play for a paying sissy customer and a professional mistress. It does not work for a couple in a loving and caring relationship.
Any programme of so-called feminisation works best when it is slow, steady and, as far as possible, encouraged and participatory. I become firm with Alice only when there is any tendency for her to backtrack or regress on what we agreed.
You should never mistake being firm with being a bully.
For example, once we’d agreed that Alice should wear a bra unless there are extenutating circumstances, this has to be the default. Therefore not wearing or forgetting to put on her bra unless we agreed beforehand would be such an incident when firmness is required.
In such cases the rule has to be reinforced but again, not necessarily by force or aggression. I find that expressing my disappointment and add a dose of humiliation as a consequence works most times.
Alice then feels guilty at my disappointment and tries to be extra careful. Or the threat of some humiliation will do the trick, such as shouting out sissy to her in a shop.
I use that one often now, “Wear the bra or I’ll call you sissy out loud in public.”
Mental conditioning
Feminisation is best progressed when the male is mentally conditioned. This requires stripping away his old conditioning and replacing it with the new one. This was key to my feminisation of Alice.
The platform is laid in his mind by frequent and regular conversations on what is expected of your husband as a feminised male. A sissy.
For example, I don’t like male body hair, obviously. So I often explained how nice it would be if she removed it. I did not demand or rant about wanting her with no body hair but instead explained why I preferred it, why it was important and how happy it would make me if she had smooth skin.
When she removed her body hair under my supervision, I ensured she could see the pleasure I received from seeing her that way and how I proud I was of her.
We discussed the public reaction of an older male having smooth legs, in the gym for example or in shorts in the summer and how we could manage it.
You can see in these two, admittedly older photos, just how important smooth legs are for a feminised male once you have put him in skirts and dresses.
I kept encouraging her also by saying she would find a way to explain her smooth legs to friends and family and indeed she did by talking about it as being like sports stars who also shave their bodies.
And then once you have conditioned your sissy husband to consider shaved legs and body as normal, you can move onto to the next step. I’ve now started the discussion on future plans including waxing and planting the idea of electrolysis or laser treatment for more permanent hair removal.
All these are still in the future but each time we discuss the future, Alice becomes involved in the direction of the feminisation programme milestones in our journey together.
Greater feminisation changes
Ideas that used to shock her, such as breast augmentation, we can now discuss normally. It doesn’t mean it will happen, but she is being conditioned to accept this as a possible future step forward. I don’t press the issue, but certainly set the direction and agenda for more female transformation.
I’ve also begun the process of introducing her to feminine sissies for a controlled and observed relationship. What had once been taboo is now discussed as I’ve involved her in the discussions which moved from hypothesis to becoming reality. Here again, the process has to be gradual.
As I’ve said, it is important to introduce normality into Alice’s conditioning to behave, think and become more feminine. Forcing her to have relations with a man straight off is not going to work. However, a gradual introduction by starting off with a feminine sissy or a transgender who is like a girl, except for one important part, is probably the best way to start this process.
I wil then work up from there.
This may sound a strange approach for me to want this in our marriage but, for me, it’s another element in the feminisation process. It is possibly the final piece of the feminisation jigsaw in getting her to have the kinds of intimate experiences and sensations that females have.
To be blunt, I do not know how she can be truely feminised until she experiences a certain item in her mouth and gets a taste of the consequences. Really, I don’t.
And I will be there to witness this once I get her to there.
Forcing feminisation is not the best way
Taking things gradually in the feminisation process doesn’t mean that I’m not 100% in charge in our FLR. But forcing my husband doesn’t turn him into a sissygirl it just means he wears the clothes reluctantly. Encouraging your husband, working with him and conditioning him has the best chances of success.
You bring your male with you willingly while you’re de-programming their social construction and re-programming them into becoming a submissive sissy girl.
There is an overhead as it means helping them choose clothing, helping them with their make-up as so on. This can be difficult at times and requires some investment of your time and energy so patience is essential.
Eventually you’ll be rewarded with a submissive sissy girl who puts your needs first and accepts their status in your relationship rather than a forceably feminised male who is either resentful or thinks it’s just a game.
You can send your sissy tributes to me by clicking on the DONATE button below. You can make the tribute for any amount and make payments anonymous should you prefer. If you leave an email address I’ll write to you personally to acknowledge your tribute.
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And don’t forget, Feminisation and FLRs are not a game. They are a lifestyle.
Not having a partner, my process has come to a halt. I only wish that I could find a delightful, alpha woman help me reinstitute my process. I read the comments from Robbie will suck you and I was amazed. It brought back those feelings and those desires to me all over again. it’s really really great process that I saw and I’m sure it would work it would be delightful to have somebody to share that with for me. Thanks for sharing this Alexa I really appreciate it.
Glad you enjoyed it Misty
How to turn hubby into a sub sissy-fem cd bimale cuckold in six weeks – January 2024.
Ladies – you should have lots of lovers. You should be able to fuck any cock you want at any time you want then ride hubby face while you share the details. You want a better husband then turn your hubby into a submissive sissy-fem crossdresser bimale cuckold that craves pleasing you. Here is a plan to make this happen:
(1) When you ride his cock – put your finger in his mouth and tell him to suck – soon you will be telling him to suck your finger like a cock. You need to plan to suck his cock 4 to 7 times a week for 6 weeks. Suck his cock and finger his ass (have lube ready) – tell him if he want his cock to be sucked then expect to be fingered. After you suck him off be sure to give him a snowball kiss each time.
Every night – tell him to go get ready cause you want to suck his cock. He will have his cock and balls and ass nice and clean and his ass lubed. Then suck his cock while you finger his ass – talk smut to him – on your ass opens like a pussy – from now-on your ass will be a sissy-pussy. Then always talk about his sissy-pussy.
Make him admit that he likes you sucking his cock while you finger his sissy-pussy. Second week you can reach up and play with his tits while you suck his cock and tell him you are going to suck his tits like you suck a cock. Bounce your head on his tit when you suck his tit. Soon you will be telling him to suck your tit like a cock – make him fantasize about sucking your tit like a cock – then sucking a cock cause you told him to suck a cock.
Every night you suck his cock and finger his sissy-pussy – very soon you can tell his body will submit to you and his sissy-pussy will open for you – craving you to finger him like a pussy.
(2) snowball kisses: when you suck off his cock and you have cum in your mouth then kiss him and share some cum with him. Tell him if he likes his cock sucked then he better get used to tasting cum. Good training for him to get where he will take cum from you. Someday you may be sucking a cock in front of him and then share a snowball kiss. Good fantasy to make him think about you sucking a cock in front of him – soon he will be sucking a cock with you.
(3) After a week of you sucking his cock while you finger his sissy-pussy – his body will be craving you. Craving you to suck his cock and finger his sissy-pussy. His sissy-pussy will be responding like a pussy. Open for you – pushing himself to your finger – second week add more lube and add more fingers. Talk smut to him always. Oh you like a second finger in your sissy-pussy. Then add a third finger. Do you want me to use a dildo on your sissy-pussy – make him ask for it. Someday I am going to invite a man here with a big cock and have him fuck your sissy-pussy while I watch. He will agree to anything while you are sucking his cock with three fingers in his sissy-pussy. Yes you can use a toy on him on the third week but make him ask for it.
(4) While you suck his tits – make him talk to you – make him ask you to keep sucking his tits – males will do anything while you are stroking his cock and sucking his cock. I am going to suck your tits and make your tits larger – are you ok with this – just in three weeks your tits are alot larger now. Soon you will be wearing a bra to bed. Fourth week you know you control him – you can use breast pump or use a standard cock pump. Take the rubber off and put the hard plastic tub on his tits and pump up. You can do this on your tits also. You have to keep fingering his sissy-pussy everynight or if you want tease him that are not going to suck his cock tonight if he has not be a good gurl.
(5) By now you know you can control him and he will do most anything you say. Just tell him you laid out clothes on the bed for him to wear – panties bra sundress and 2in heels – need to be wide not to hurt his toes. That you expect him to wear a nitie to bed every night and panties. include bra if you wish. Time to do some make up also. You do like me sucking your cock every night – say it back to me – good gurl.
(6) you keep sucking his cock and fingering his sissy-pussy – soon you will be fucking him with a toy then a larger toy. Oh they have the very thin toys that pump up so it does not hurt at all – then go to be bigger toy. Tell him time to go shopping for a strapon cock cause you want to fuck him like a woman and you want him to feel like a woman being fucked.
(7) his sissy-pussy will respond like a pussy now – give him just a little more than he can handle then let him adjust to the size then push it in a little deeper – do that over and over to make him take more and more toy cock. Then go to a larger toy – make him ask for a larger toy – make him say yes he needs more cock. When you fuck him with a strapon – do you want him to enjoy it or do you want to make him hurt alittle?
(8) a pussy or a sissy-pussy can handle a bigger toy cock then a real cock or a strapon cock – when you are pushing against his body and pushing your strapon cock into his sissy-pussy — it feels so real and so exciting and so wonderful.
Never just start with a strapon cock – like a woman – always work up to it. After you have fucked him about 30 times then you can tell him — someday I am going to just bend you over – put some lube on your sissy-pussy and fuck you – make you take my strapon cock and more than you can handle without getting you loosen up — you want that – make him say it back to you.
(9) it is exciting to think of hubby wearing a bra and panties and sundress and 2in heels to do the housework.
After six weeks of sucking his cock and fingering his sissy-pussy every night — you will have him so hooked and willing to do anything you want. You can say – get naked and on your knees and lick my pussy till I cum and he will do it.
Let him know you want him to ask and beg to be fingered more and more and to be fucked more and more with a toy. That you want him to ask to be fucked by you with a strapon cock.
Remind him that he agreed to do anything you wanted to him and you promised him more and more sex and that his cock would be happier if he says yes to everything you want.
(10) Once you make him suck a cock and be fucked by a cock – he will want more and more cock but you need to push him to do it more and more — he will not feel like he can ask for it like he can with you using a toy on him.
Make him feel safe and loved and make him ask for more cock – make him say that he likes sucking cocks and that he likes being fucked like a woman. That he likes cum in his mouth and in his sissy-pussy.
Do you want him to suck cocks for you and take cocks in his sissy-pussy??? Do you want to be able to fuck any cock you want 1on1 or 3way? Then have hubby lick your pussy clean while you share the details with him.
The key wording now is – hubby you understand you need to follow my orders to get your cock sucked.
I am Robbie in Norman, Oklahoma – I have photos on my profile page on fetlife – email me your past sex and kinky fantasies to robbiewillsucku at gm ail — I also chat on google-chat.
I don’t like male cum so there will be none in my mouth. And why would I want to suck his clitty so much? Doesn’t sound that much fun to me.
Thank you M’lady. I hope I didn’t offend you. I would never want to offend a Superior. I understand exactly what you mean now. Thank you much. (curtsey) Femforever, Michelle.
Not offended but I think you missed my point on the sissy on sissy thing
Dearest Lady Alexa, I’ve been following this post and it’s very interesting. I have to ask, isn’t it more important for a sissy to learn how to orally please her Mistress and other Females rather than a male? In my case, I’m a lesbian sissy so I take great pride in orally pleasing Females with absolutely no release for me. Thank you much and look forward to your reply. Femforever, Michelle
So once you get Alice to the stage of pleasing men sexually, Beit orally or otherwise, will you then allow her to have regular sexual interaction with a man? I know she has to still please you but would you allow her to almost have her own ‘bf’ that she would see regularly?
One step at a time. A sissy thing first and we’ll see how it goes from there. So a sissy ‘gf’ as opposed to a male bf.
Hi
I have been feminizing my partner, no longer my husband; for a few years now. I find that a slow & steady, but firm approach works well, as long as there is plenty of communication. A key element I used to push her along the path to becoming female was choice! Of course, choice was framed like in a casino. The bank always wins.
I carefully drew up my bucket list, which was frequently updated. Every weekend we review the list and progress her feminization. She gets to choose the next step, of course from within the items on my list. I don’t even put a deadline. All we have agreed is that every month at least one more step in the ladder of feminization is accomplished.
To gain her confidence, my early lists included only baby steps like wearing only panties, put on a bra at home, shave all body hair etc. In the first two years a lot was achieved. Now we are on more serious and truly transformative steps. Electrolysis and laser for permanent hair removal, voice modulation classes and breast enhancement surgery etc. Suzanne and I now calmly discuss these topics. I play on her psychology. Instead of asking her willingness to go for breast augmentation, I try & engage her on her new breastfeeding size. I find that she is trying to persuade me to make her bust a size 32 or 34 as against my wish for a 38 inch tit. I am pleased to observe that the subconscious acceptance of breast enhancement has sunk in. We are only debating size. Once size is agreed ( I want her to be only 34 inches;) but she should feel she has won. Having conceded a battle on size, I can more easily push her on the timing. For me sooner the better.
I find this approach of consensual & informed ( lot of talk to accept the process) works well for me. Suzanne is also happy feeling that she too has her say!
Hello Natasha.
I am intrigued by how you used choice to move your partner along in their feminization. By giving them the ability to choose, but only from your list of wanted items, it gives them the appearance of control or a win, as in the case of breast size.
I am curious how you identified your partner as a candidate to be feminized. What was it about them? Who initiated the process? How long have you and your partner been going down this path? Have you legally divorced?
Thank you for taking the time to consider and answer my questions.
If you read my book, How I Feminized My Husband, you’ll see I didn’t select my husband for feminising but it happened some time after we married. I speculate on the attraction between alpha woman and beta male. Why would we get divroced? Everything’s great.
Hello Lady Alexa,
Thank you for your response.
My above response was for Natasha. That is why the question regarding divorce as she initially stated my partner, no longer my husband.
Although it has been a while since reading your book on how you feminized Alice, I believe that the two of you are very happy with your lives. I am envious of your relationship and look forward to having a similar happy relationship.
I see. Because I respond through the management area of my blog it’s not always clear in the order who is replying to whom as the layout is not that of the external page.
I know it will take time but with this kind of encouragement from you I know I will get there and again, thank you for this ❤️
I know it will take time but with this kind of encouragement from you I know I will get there and again, thank you for this ❤️
Good. Let us all know how it works out
Yes. Thank you
Thank you. That helps
I am at the stage of loving to be hairless, dressed pretty and perfumed nicely. I really feel much more comfortable being dress properly and I love that my wife encourages me and supports me. I have been asking to have her find someone to give me what I want in my mouth. I really wish we could find another couple just like you so I could have a Sissy Girlfriend to be with on a regular basis. It would be so nice to have both wives present to watch and enjoy their husbands learning how to be a woman with a nice warm penis in out mouths squirting fresh semen. I am already a semen eater now as you know since my wife only lets me ejaculate when she milks and feeds me. I know I would love another Sissy’s semen.
It’s necessary for the wives to be present when the sissies do their thing
Totally agree. I only want to ejaculate of my wife is present. I want her to hold the spoon and immediately feed me. It tastes so much better fresh and warm. And she is so happy to feed me. She always compliments me for being such a good cum eater. I like that.
Dearest Lady Alexa, I’ve been following this post and it’s very interesting. I have to ask, isn’t it more important for a sissy to learn how to orally please her Mistress and other Females rather than a male? In my case, I’m a lesbian sissy so I take great pride in orally pleasing Females with absolutely no release for me. Thank you much and look forward to your reply. Femforever, Michelle
I think you have misread my posts. My earlier posts explain how the dominant female orgasm is the only priority for a sissy such as my husband. I was more subtle about it leaving out detail as it’s about me and I’m not sharing the details of my sex life online for sissies to get excited about.
So my point about a sissy giving release to another sissy or a male is not about pleasing the other male. It’s about me humiliating the sissy by making them do inimtate sexual acts with biological males OCCASSIONALLY to remind the sissy they are submissive and feminine and I can make them do anything that amuses me. The other male is but a tool to achieve my objective.
Lady Alexa, as I’ve continued to read your book, how to feminize your husband, I’ve been appreciating the journey. I’ve also been realizing that I can follow your steps in terms of doing my own self feminization as I don’t have a Mistress or Domme Orr Goddess currently in my life. My current experience is that most of the online “mistresses“ are mostly fakes or con artists and some are downright criminal. So I’m taking your words of wisdom at their face value. And I can appreciate and want to thank you for writing the book. It’s been very helpful and insightful.
Yes, avoid the fake online dommes. If you can’t find a real-life dominan t partner, then feminise yourself
In response, I would say that the poster has questions about whether he/she is willing to provide oral sex for an alpha male, or allow the mistress to pleasure her self with her strap on and on him., Orally. I would suggest that this alleged sissy in training, has it really made the decision that they want to be feminized.
Lady Alexa said:
“To be blunt, I do not know how she can be truely feminised until she experiences a certain item in her mouth and gets a taste of the consequences. Really, I don’t.
And I will be there to witness this once I get her to there”
Lady, Alexa, must this be true for all sissies to achieve full feminization? I do want be fully feminized, Lady Alexa, must this be true of me also? And if so how do I achieve this as a straight man?
My husband is a straight male too but it is what it is
A straight male who puts a certain item in her mouth and gets a taste of the consequences will not make him gay.
A straight male is attracted to women.
No activity a straight male will partake of will not make him gay.
He may not like that activity but he is still straight.
Exactly
Thank you. This is extremely helpful and encouraging!!
Lady Alexa
You are so correct. Until he experiences the sheer joy and pleasure of helping a man orally have a very satisfying ejaculation is the only way your husband will truly experience being a woman.
I have asked my wife for this too. It has to be the right man or even better another FLR couple. Another FLR couple would be best given both couples have the same goal: teach your feminized husband to love and enjoy being a woman and be able to demonstrate his oral skills any time any place you choose. Doing this fully clothed with no expectations of return oral would be best.
ANother FLR couple would be my preference. But rather than a real man, I’d prefer Alice to have a sissy relationship ad see how things go. Two sissies.
I bought the book and it’s a great read recommend it for anybody engaging in this path. It’s clear instructions, but in a nice, subtle way and how to accomplish the task.
Gad you liked the book, Misty
i look forward to Your posts as they are insightful and well written. Your approach to feminizing alice is spot on. It is very effective because it comes from Your deep-seated love of alice and her love for You, coupled with her desire to always put You first in all things FLR. Your incredible patience in gradually moving alice along the feminization spectrum is truly impressive. alice is a very lucky girl.
She4 is and she finds out as we progress which is why I need to be conscious of her concerns but also strict at times.
Love it…thank you very much
Great to hear
You have apparently hit on an effective method of transformation. I really hope this conditioning moves Alice rapidly to your desired conclusion.
I know how important it is for the male to KNOW he’s loved and accepted by the wife during this transformation.
Good luck!
Yes, the love and care id a vital element of any FLR and is demonstrated in a husband’s feminisation too.
The positive way to feminize a male is to remain very supportive and to encourage and compliment your husband for dressing properly.
My wife is very supportive. When I shave perfectly smooth and put on a pretty dress, lingerie, hosiery and heels and she tells me “Honey I really like that dress and your legs look so nice in that hosiery. Are you wearing thigh highs or stockings and garters?” I get such a sense of pride that I am pleasing her visually. I love when she compliments me. It makes me want to try extra hard to be feminine for her every day. She even asks me when I take a bubble bath if I need help shaving areas I cannot reach. She loves to tell me “I love when you shave smooth honey. I know you’re all mine. My pretty Sissy Husband..”
Mistress – this is inspiring, it’s exactly how I’ve been ‘conditioned’ – I’ve been more and more ‘persuaded’ over a long time frame.
I’ve really enjoyed being more and more sissy – to the point that it’s completely normal for me to want to be smooth, to love the feel of stockings and silk skirts, wearing a bra , applying make up and crowning it with a wig that completes the transformation.
I have however really liked being dominated and the more harsh the better. This may be an antidote to my high powered and stressful job.
We’ve developed – or rather my Mistress has led, quite a strict regime – built over time. What was once inconceivable has happened and as you delicately put it – I now love pleasing my Mistress by being used by other men.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
Interesting, you sound like Alice although a little further along in the area I have in mind. She had a stressful job so enjoyed the domination and loss of control. Even now when her work is very different and not at all stressful, that release in being dominated and me beng strict with her remains. I think it’s also a release from the pressures of being what’s expected from a male. We have progressed in the level of my strictness, something that Alice instigated by telling me I could go further than I was. Are you sure I asked her? I was more than happy to oblige but needed to be sure she was comfortable. I think I will discuss this in a future post, thanks for bringin it up.
I will obviously point out there’s a difference between being strict to the degree we’ve agreed and being a bully. I of course, just adore being dominant and strict but it’s consensual and we’re both getting a lot out of it.
Hello Lady Alexa,
I like and agree with your approach.
Introduce the concept, create curiosity, express your interest, state why you like it and slowly reintroduce and discuss the topic.
The curiosity and willingness to please will eventually have your desired effect.
Phycology at work.
Thank you for sharing.
I haven’t got everything I’d really want this way but where we are is consensual and accepted rather thn imposed. In the end.
Being caring, loving and supportive are vary important but having consent is the most important aspect in any activity a couple may engage in.
Your journey with Alice is life long.
I think that Alice’s reluctance may be a positive aspect. If you got everything you wanted, you would loose the challenge of leading Alice in her journey.
You have a relationship dynamic that works for both of you. You both love and care for each other.
I am envious of your relationship.
Another beautifully written and insightful post. Thank You.
Working with your partner is certainly going to bring the best results in the long run and at some stage Alice will be self-motivated and possibly need reining in at times. I speak from experience on this. Confrontation may start with faster progress but the overall project will take far longer if it actually gets to a conclusion.
Bravo for realising this from the start and recognising the rubbish most fiction actually is. There is a series of stories by A.K. Remenko on FictionMania that covers much of relevance to the real world, which is a little wordy but has a lot that was successfully applied in my case as I realised when I found the relevant pages.
Best of luck with Alice and please tell her from me that faking confidence when going out will become real and that I wouldn’t go back to how I was for anything – my life is so much better now.
Best Regards and Respect
Natasha
She has indeed needed reining in at times but mostly because her enthusiasm to wear a pretty skirt for example became a little focussed on her feeling good rather than what I wanted. I’ll check out the stories you mention, I didn’t know them,
My ex wife told me I was useless in bed, dick too tiny, came too fast & found a well hung black man to fuck her. She told me if I wanted any sex I had to suck his cock so I did it. Still no sex. He took my butt & told me I was really a female with a dick. I have accepted this now!
Sound to much for what I’m after.
I certainly will, Lady Alexa, and thank you again for the real world stories and advice.
Dearest Lady Alexa, another wonderful real world post. I can’t wait to hopefully find myself in an FLR. This would be a sissy’s dream come true. I truly believe that Female is the Superior Gender and that all males should be emasculated and feminized in order to properly serve Females. Thank you so much M’lady. Femforever
Males should be emasculated. It may take a while for everyone in the world to realise this but at least I can start things off in my home
I am so jealous, I so wish for this to be my life and to find a wonderful Mistress that wanted this lifestyle for us. My greatest dream is to journey into this lifestyle and service to an amazing Mistress.
I hope you find your dream Michelle. If you do, remember not to be like Alice and get carried away at times but that you’re doing it for your Mistress