The term forced feminization can sound something bad to the uninitiated. The adjective forced doesn’t sound so good; making someone dress and behave in a way they don’t want to is abuse. Isn’t it?
Of course, in reality it’s nothing of the sort. So-called forced feminization is not forced at all. The term forced is a euphemism used to hide the fact the person being forced doesn’t want to admit the fact (in that he wants to be a sissy.
He just needs a little persuasion.
Forced to be feminized
So let’s tackle the subject of forced feminization. Why do we use the word forced?
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Judging by comments and emails I occasionally receive from angry men that I delete, many people misunderstand the expression, forced feminization. I can imagine theses red-faced keyboard warriors at home still with their mum hitting the keys with barely restrained force using stubby forefingers stained with nicotine.
But these red-faced men are angry because they want to be angry at some imagined transgression not because we, who ‘force feminize’, are actually committing any abuse. Quite the opposite.
Long-time readers of my blog know I prefer to use the term encouraged feminisation. I believe this to be a more accurate term to describe the feminisation of a male by someone else. It certainly describes my feminisation of my husband, sissy Alice.
Forced? No.
Other terms I use are, reluctant feminisation or guided feminisation. I use reluctant and guided particularly in my husband’s case as he was, and remains, reluctant until I show him the benefits of his feminisation. He is merely fighting against his social programming. It’s a tough internal fight to face.
Encouraged feminisation
Sometimes all a male will need is a little encouragement to be feminised: encouraged feminization. Since I got into this field, I’ve met many sissies who actively wanted to be feminised so guided feminisation is probably a more appropriate term for them.
Sometimes, I’ve had to be firm with my sissy husband Alice hence encouraged for him, but it’s for Alice’s benefit as well. These days, she will admit she prefers skirts and dresses over male clothing. At times, she tells me it’s a shame she can’t wear a summer dress or light skirt during the summer outside.
She can, of course, but presenting like that to the outside world as a sissy is still too much for her, even if it isn’t for me. This is because the situation is quite complex in our case.
Autogynephilia
Wow, what a word; it’s no wonder not many people are aware of it. It doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue like sissy or bimbo.
Alice is not transgender but a crossdresser or transvestite. She prefers female clothes and being treated as a sissy but remains as a male biologically. My encouraged feminisation of my husband has revealed not only this, but Alice’s autogynephilia
Autogynephilia describes a male’s propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female. And this is also why he is so reluctant to present as a sissy externally and to family and friends. He is not a transgender where external presentation as a female might be easier for him, but someone who would be presenting his sexual fetish to the world.
Not so good.
To be blunt, Alice is a male who gets off by being feminised.
Of course, another reason Alice doesn’t want to present as a sissy outside is the fear of the ridicule she’d receive from an unknowing and unaware public. It’s a shame but she may be correct. I don’t understand why men can’t wear what are considered female clothes and be submissive but still be considered biological males.
Who decided that men have to dress one way and women another? ANd who decided that men have to be strong and show leadership and decision-making skills?
By ‘forcing’ Alice’s feminisation, I’ve given her a gift and shown her a better life as a sissy that she wouldn’t otherwise have considered or thought about. She was a typical male, programmed and built by society’s archaic rules. It’s my job to break that down in Alice’s head.
By feminising my husband, I gained another set of benefits that I’ll describe below. My husband also found benefits which spilled over into what became a female-led relationship.
Feminisation in an FLR
For me, ‘forced’ feminisation and FLR go hand in hand although I know this isn’t always the case. It is the case in our relationship as one of the drivers for me in feminising Alice was to make her more submissive.
I’m not saying that being feminine is submissive, I’m very feminine. I’m saying that by taking charge of a relationship and putting my man into revealing sissy clothes, he is emasculated and becomes more receptive to being submissive and more gentle.
I wear female clothes too, but power clothing. I put Alice into far more sissy clothes such as schoolgirl clothing, other little girl clothes or extremely bimbo clothing, for example. This accentuates his submissiveness and his need to serve the superior.
Clothed Female Naked Male (CFNM) is another way to show the disparity in our FLR of course and I use this too or a mix of feminisation and exposure.
But is a FLR good for the man? I know it’s many readers fantasy but I’m talking about real life, everyday, every moment. I think many might find the reality of an FLR rather different to the fantasy. It means your wife or girlfriend is the boss. Full stop.
Think of the implications when you’re not playing. It means cleaning when you’re tired, it means cursying when you’re annoyed at her and accepting what you might think is unfair or a bad decision.
However, for Alice and other couples like us, there is a different side to this. She’s able to let go of the pressure of having to ‘be the man’. This, for us, is inextricably linked to his feminisation.
My husband gets a comfortable caring life with no stress as I take care of everything. And he gets sexy sissy clothes to wear and enjoy.
Next forced feminization steps
Of course, I’m now pushing things further along. I have plans for a deepening of my husband’s feminisation that includes spending more time with other sissies. This is a big step and I’ll need to tread carefully.
At the time of writing, nothing much has happened in this area but let’s see where we go. Baby steps.
Forced Feminization
My discussions with Alice have shown that her world is so much better for being feminised and led by a benign dictator-wife. If I hadn’t pushed it along, she would never have this improved lifestyle albeit behind closed doors.
So should forced feminization really be encouraged feminisation and guided feminization?
Sissies and wannabe sissies – let me know in the comments where your love of feminisation lies on the scale, from easily guided to needing to be encouraged like my husband.
Mistresses – let me know why you love men to be feminised.
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Hello. I have long been struck by the notion that a female cannot really force a man to become more feminine. But there are many of us who would gladly wear feminine or sissy attire as often as possible. The phrase I have come to like is “enforced feminization”. The lady works from the point of view that says, “You wanted this now you will have it, Full time” And enforces her desire to see her man in dresses, stockings and heels as much as possible, perhaps increasing over time until she has what she wishes for and does not permit any backsliding which would surely happen if the male is allowed his own devices. Get him to the point of complete feminization then keep him there.
I agreee. An FLR is full time or not at all. It’s not a game.
“Lady Alexa says
27th October 2023 at 11:51 am
I have to ask myself why the angry keyboard warriors find my blog and read my articles. It make you wonder.”
A friend would summarise this as “Methinks he doth protest too much.”
A very interesting article and comments which I agree with pretty comprehensively. My experience is moving from my partner introducing panties in the bedroom, it was some time before I realised they fit me so it was planned, which led to presenting female 24/7. To misquote an old meme – I didn’t need to be forced I needed motivation, Thanks to Covid and continuing ill-health I’ve regained much of the weight I got rid of now I find that wanting to look good and wear stuff I used to fit is a powerful incentive to cut back on food, especially unhealthy stuff.
Physical health is often missed when talking feminisation but I believe that I’m much more aware of changes than I used to be, mentally I’m in a much better place even though my partner emigrated as we drifted apart again (we get on fine when a few thousand miles apart) and other things changed. Some I regret but feminisation is not and never will be one of them.
As you correctly state every man has a feminine side, if some realise this they get angry and deny it, the wise accept and find ways to live with it without stress, I think the second group have a much nicer life.
Thank You for all the posts and work you put into the community I know I am intensely grateful and, when I can get some cash together I shall remember you.
Thanks Natasha, methinks they doth protest toomuch too.
You captured the essence of “forced feminization” so perfectly. Those that get angry about it do not understand the underlying dynamics of submission, in that the erotic rush…the mind blowing drop into subspace, occur from that forced aspect and from having your boundaries stretched. Hopefully your post will allow others to develop an understanding of the dynamic.
In terms of feminization, I am similar to your husband. The thrill for me is from being seduced or manipulated into being feminized through the feminine power of a female. It is thrilling to be taking down a path where I can not resist doing something embarrassing or taboo in order to please my wife. The ultimate thrill is realizing that over time my wife has molded me into something a little different, where not only my behavior and what I do changed, but the way I think has changed. A total mind orgasm! Without the female control aspect of it, there is no interest for me. I have no interest in cross-dressing or being female in public. That would make me very uncomfortable. However, if I was in a private environment with females that encouraged feminization, it would be exciting and mind blowing for me to be feminized and dominated by the group.
Currently my wife requires me to wear panties 24/7 and she has several sissy panties that she requires me to wear for specific occasions such as when we go shopping, when I run errands for her, or if I am chauffeuring her around. I’ve worn a bra and stockings a few times. That is the extent of my feminization. She could easily go further with the feminization, but as of now she has no interest in taking it further. I don’t understand why feminization arouses me but I love what she does and feel lucky to be her submissive husband. Thank you for your wonderful post.
You hit the nail on the head with the word taboo, that is what’s exciting. I’m looking for new taboos. And like you, ALic ehas no interest in cross dressing unless it’s part of a humiliation control dynamic.
Wife is not a fan of feminizing me, She really prefers me to appear masculine in social settings, i think She enjoys some measure of gloating over having me as eye candy. She is HOH and knows i wish to dress femininely, so i guess i am the opposite of forced fem, but when She has me at home and wants me to be especially compliant, i am told to wear very frilly clothing, it always is a treat even though i know it means She is going to lay down new rules or give me some unpleasant news. Whatever it is, i am supportive and agreeable even when i am being given new chores or She is blowing a big hole in he budget. She has also let me wear panties and even given me some as gifts, and allows me to wear them outside. Also, She has helped me learn to sew when i couldn’t find a pencil skirt in my size and She often gives me hand-me-downs of Hers which i treasure, but since She doesn’t enjoy feminizing me, i have pretty much given up pursuing it. As a sissy husband i recognize that it’s Her world and i want to make it as pleasant for Her as possible, so as much as i would love to dress up in ruffles and bows and pastels and soft fabrics, i rarely do it. The most important aspect of the relationship is Her leadership, and that makes everything else worth it.
Thank You for sharing these stories and giving such clear advice. Even though i don’t get to live en femme, it’s comforting knowing that many others feel the same as me. In my case, it’s not the clothes that make the sissy, it’s obedience and dedication to serve Wife with a proper submissive attitude, and i am dedicated to that. As to the question of where i land on the scale of “forced, guided or encouraged” i land, You can decide, but maybe i fall somewhere else, like begging for it, lol
I was refrerring to feminisation in the forced, guided or encouraged scale but you sound like a guided in the scale of being submissive.
Those keyboard warriors are infected with the same male conditioning that society imposes on all of us. Sissy men are men who have enough clarity to see and understand mother natures purpose for us, which is to serve and obey women.
“The red faced keyboard warriors” are the same kind of men that have oppressed women for thousands of years. Hopefully they are a dying breed. The future belongs to women and the sissy men who respect women as their superiors.
To answer your question, I think that easily guided feminisation is what I need. I’m already accepting of the fact that it’s my purpose in life as a male to be a sissy and use my Feminization to make myself as useful and obedient as possible to my future love.
I have to ask myself why the angry keyboard warriors find my blog and read my articles. It make you wonder.
I enjoyed Candy’s comments. Very insightful, would have been immense assistance to me in my on-going ice-breaker journey.
Dear Lady Alexa,
These days younger people are more open to gay experiences including straight males having sex with men. Often when straight men cross-dress they start off by saying that they are straight but as time goes by the feminisation process moves them across the sexual spectrum and into the arms of males.
Two Trannies/Sissies together make it easier to cross the line and once that has been experienced then a sissy or transvestite can then consider a boyfriend. Depilation and make-up can work wonders on most men and two smooth lipsticked males together is a very sensuous experience. Male/male french kissing is an understanable barrier to cross but it is a beautiful and sensuous experience which often then leads to cock- sucking and anal sex.
I know you are a big fan of cross-dresser/cross-dresser lovers abnd hopefully Alice will please you by opening her mind to it.
A couple of suggestions to help break the ice:
– Alice could visit a waxing shop run by gay males.
– Alice could be massaged by another sissy.
– Alice could visit a male massuer.
Some small steps towards the goal.
Best wishes,
Candy TV
Thank you Candy, my thoughts exactly
Lady Alexa,
My then girlfriend, now Owner and wife, introduced me to ‘forced feminisation’ when we first set off on our continuing FLR journey about 16 years ago. It gradually became apparent that it triggered a very feminine side of me that i had kept hidden (even from myself to a large extent) for decades. i now spend my time fully en femme, the ‘forced’ bit of it long since overcome.
That said there are stilll occasions when Owner will instruct me to wear a particular type of outfit outside in public – such as a very short pink summer dress to the train station etc – which i still find terrifying and embarrassing but give me a huge thrill when completed. Like you we live in London so there are plenty of fun locations for me to be publicly tested in.
The other thing is that Owner has now weaponised my ‘every day’ feminisation against me. If i have done something wrong She punishes me by instructing i return to full ‘boy mode’ for a specific period of time or throws away some of my feminine clothes. It is a very effective punishment!
Thanks for the great blog
p
x
Thanks for your story. I have a thery that all males have what is considered as a feminine side but is in reality an innate part of everyone. It’s just been submerged in males.
Dear Lady Alexa,
There are many days dedicated to various causes, I would like to propose an international sissy day where feminised males will be required to commit to their female superiors by swearing an oath of submission and obedience to her and all womankind. Thank you for your wonderful postings.
Your loyal and dedicated reader,
andi.
Every day should be an imnternational sissy day
Dear Lady Alexa. There are facets of my feminization in O/our FLR that range from voluntary to encouraged to forced. Most fall into the first two categories but there is one scenario that i would definitely classify as forced. My Wife/Mistress is very excited about it but i have serious reservations. Having sissy relations with another sissy really scares me greatly. W/we first encountered this idea when W/we read a couple of Your books where at the end sissy to sissy relations come into play. i know that it is my duty to obey and perform any task assigned by Her, but i am unsure how i will handle it if and when it comes down to it. To be continued.
Hello Chael. I think you’re probably right in saying that things aren’t as black and white as forced, encouraged or guided. All elements are in play.
IMHO “forced” feminization belongs in the world of fantasy and the porn industry. Show me a male who can’t simply say NO or walk out.
Now the above is a very simplistic statement. But it is true. Sure there is blackmail. Threats of one form or another. But the reality is that “forced” can’t be good for ANY relationship unless the dominant gets off as a sadist.
Simply put the submissive/sissy has to be “willing” to some extent for a femdom relationship to work. The wife/mistress has to be able to “encourage” the feminine side of their male partner. Its a team effort. I cant imagine a situation, apart from fantasty, where constant friction between the mistress and her sissy is good for any relationship.
These sorts of relationships need to evolve. From simple panties to fulltime feminization. In our relationship it has taken 20 plus years for me now to be feminization 98% of the time. (The other 2% involve family). Now as my wife’s sissy I couldn’t think of life any other way. I’m here to serve my wife and be soft and feminine while doing it. My needs are important. But having said that I get a huge buzz by pleasing my wife.
Any partnership can do it. Talking is the key. Knowing what your wife wants and expects and putting her needs first. And i can tell you from experience that it works. We have a very happy life as two “females”.
Now I must run. We are dressing up and going window shopping this morning. Coffee and a cake. Just two girlfriends out for the day.
ps. To those single males wanting to be feminized all I can say is just do it. For those married males you need to sit down with your partner and tell her how you feel. Then if she agrees go very softly. Baby steps. Don’t shock her. Let it evolve.
Forced indeed only exists in the porn market. Even in my own books, I start off the story with what appears to be forced but the male finds he likes it. Your PS is very aposite. I might reuse it.
Forced fem is for the benefit of the male. Being “forced” takes the guilt away that society imposes on men for wanting to appear feminine.
Women can wear men’s clothing and mostly, not raise an eyebrow. When they do it, it is seen as being strong and empowering. If a man tries to emulate a woman, it is seen as “lessening” himself. Why would you want that? So a man who wants that feels ashamed.
“Forcing” him takes away his guilt. Some men thrive on the humiliation of being a man wearing women’s clothes. These are often known as “Sissies”. Some crossdressers dress to emulate women but do not necessarily want to become women. Some get a sexual thrill. They love touching a woman in soft, sensual clothing and want to know how that feels.
When I crossdress I do not feel weak and submissive. I feel good. I dress “ordinary”. I look like an average middle-aged woman. I just want to be accepted as a woman. I suppose that puts me on the transexual spectrum. I have never seen women as inferior.
There is a huge variation of behaviors as human sexuality is complex.
I write CD/Trans stories. Many involve “forced fem”. Blackmail kidnapping etc. My most popular story involved a man being blackmailed into playing the part of a man’s wife for seven years. It has been read almost 100, 000 times. So, “forced” is very popular genre.
In real life, it is nearly impossible to force a man to dress as a woman against his will. The same goes for women. If it were that easy how many men would have their partners dressed as French maids, Cheerleaders or schoolgirls fulltme.
WOW!! I WOULD LOVE TO BE DRESSED AS A WOMAN BEFOR SEX!! THEN SPANK MY BARE BUTT!!
It’s a bit more than that
Hi Lady Alexa,
Greetings from Ireland. Thank you for your guidance on our FLR journey which we embarked on over a year ago. Though we are a “normal” vanilla couple to the outside world we very much embrace the FLR lifestyle at home. Trish is the dominant one who makes all the financial decisions and every other decision related to our lives. She had trained me in gradually relieving me of any decision making and allowing me to focus on all her needs as my priority. Putting me in chastity has helped a lot in this regard. She has also taken over driving the Porsche and has given me her 3 series BMW. We are now heading towards what we call our FCFLR which we refer to as our Fully Committed FLR. It gets better and better…..
Best wishes,
Carla
Hello Carla in ireland and greetings back from not sunny London. Your FLR sounds very similar to ours but earlier days. We’ve never come out of the closet about it but we have found others like us which is nice.
Thank you for such an informative article.
I did some research and found that about 3% of the population has Autogynephilia.
This indicates that Alice is not alone with her condition. But I would add that she is probable one the lucky ones, as she is able to have a loving spouse that understand, accepts and encourages her to be her true self.
3% is quite a lot. Thanks that’s interesting.
I love your stories, I wish a woman would feminise me and help me with makeup, hair, and lingerie including corsets, dresses etc are there any lady’s out there who would be able to help me
Thank Paul. I hope you find lady who shares your desires
Todd needed some persuasion! He cannot resist a suggestion when I’m tickling his feet or nipples. I assured him how beautiful he looks wearing panties, how much it turns me on to feminize him. Soon he was quite erect and I had him kissing and smelling my bare feet as I explained that I’m throwing away all his male underwear and he’s going to wear panties from now on, even in court under business suits. If he disobeys, paddling him will occur with his panties removed first……
Please excuse my previous hasty post. I noticed that my fingers were acting faster than my brain this morning. In place of the pronouns him, I meant her.
I mix Alice’s pronouns all the time, sometimes in the same sentence so don’t worry.
I have always had female feelings since boyhood!
I’ve been bisexual for a long time but love dominant women who control me & dress me up
Good, some relaise it quicker than others
I appreciate your position, and I appreciate the explanation of feminization. It’s probably the best that I’ve heard so far. If only it were easy to find someone to be in my life, you could assist me in this path. I tend to waver sometimes from one day to the next. Part of my wavering has to do with not having somebody in my life to be supportive in a really good way. My last significant other was very much wanting to stay in control, but she wasn’t so good with showing me how to be properly feminized. There are Internet dating sites , but most of them are filled with frauds and cons and some downright criminals. I can, lady Alexa, suggest a website or two that would be useful to actually be able to find a Goddess to be in a relationship with, not Internet, based in which the profiler never shows up, and never actually reveals himself to be who they are?
Thanks Michael. Alice would also waver without my control so this part os important.
I want to be in a FLR, & be feminized.
Where can I find a woman to own me here in the Dallas Tx area?
I’ve no idea, I don’t know Texas.
Move to Austin TX, or Houston.
And why on Earth would I want to do that?
Dallas is a pretentious city. Both Austin and Houston have populations that are more likely to provide the woman he wants.
Don, not you. The taxes are much lower though.
I’m an older divorced man whose 2 ex wives told me I should have been born a female.
How can I become more fem?
Just do it.
I need to be forced feminized and trained to pleaser men’s COCKS!! any help would be appreciated 💄👠👙👜💋❤️
It doesn’t sound like you need to be forced, which I guess was the point of my article
My wife told me early on that I was feminate. I wore panties from the start, soon a maids outfit. I loved it. Soon she took a lover & made me serve him. I became their bitch & loved it. It was forced Dem but I accepted it easily.