A female-led relationship where the husband is a feminine sissy will evolve over time. There’s never a status quo. There are many reasons for this including changing dynamics, new experiences and the need to keep things fresh and exciting. Even the excitement of dressing your sissy in a pretty skirts starts to become normal after a while.
This article looks at how a female-led relationship (FLR) changes over time using my own FLR as an example.
An Everyday FLR
My female-led relationship and my ‘forced’ feminisation of my husband Alice is largely behind closed doors. This is a self-imposed restriction due to family, friends, lifestyle and social limitations.
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As time moves on, these restrictions impact certain areas where I would have liked to go further in an ideal world. I’ve pretty much given up on giving Alice breast implants or earrings as that would be too obvious or impractical in certain area of our non-FLR lifestyle. As are long fingernails in another aspect.
But within these self-imposed limitations, they are still areas where I can push against boundaries, find new naughty interests and keep our FLR lifestyle fresh. Here are a few changes to how I run our FLR since my last post.
Names
First off, I insist at home my husband Alice calls me Mistress or Mistress Alexa. I like the full Mistress Alexa. I did toy with Mistress Martinez for a while but it seemed a step too formal; we’re a couple at the end of the day.
As for Alice, at one time I didn’t like the term sissy as it conjured up images of men in fantasy pink French maids’ dresses and large blond wigs with pink ribbons.
I’ve moderated my views and I think sissy is a useful term for a feminised man in general and a great name to call Alice at times. It’s emasculating to call her sissy.
The dictionary definition as both a noun or adjective is a boy or man viewed as being overly interested in things traditionally associated with women.
That works even if pushed into being interested is closer to what happened in our case but never mind.
I don’t call her Alice much in everyday life these days, I use it when writing or taking about her. Aside from calling her sissy, I use girl a lot as I’ve always done but also princess, petal, fairy, fairycake and so on.
Wardrobe refresh
A small change to keep things fresh is the occassional wardrobe update for both of us. I like nice dresses, especially high quality designer-style power-style dresses. A lady should treat herself, it’s not just about sissy.
For Alice, I’m always on the outlook for a pretty skirt of dress that is as feminine and girly as possible. Pinks, whites and shades like that are great as are pleats, ra-ra styles. If I can find something that is a little girl or schoolgirl style, so much the better. It keeps Alice’s mind set on constant awareness she’s a sissy girl.
She can get used to wearing girly things so I like to mix the styles up.
Working with sissy’s limitations
Another aspect of this is to work with her limitations. Whatever I might do to Alice in terms of feminisation, she has the face and build of a man and thinning hair. She is sim with great legs though.
However, instead of my earlier attempts to turn her into a girl, I work with her male looks as an element of humiliation. She’s a male in a skirt who I can humiliate. I think being able to do the most extreme and personal things possible to my sissy or maybe other sissies is my biggest attraction to the lifestyle. It feels visceral.
This includes verbal and physical humiliation. Being able to do and say absolutely anything to Alice (outside of pain or any form of mulilation of course) is the biggest form of stimulation for me. And I will add, it is for Alice to to receive it. These things are consensual even though I often need to push and prod. In the end, she agrees it’s great,
The move towards femdom
I do not enjoy giving pain to Alice and she doesn’t enjoy pain so pain is off the agenda beyond light spanking and slapping. This might sting a bit, especially as I like to spank her clitty and pussy balls sometimes.
However, the power and humiliation aspects of BDSM Femdom are very much on the agenda and this ties in with my desire to not let Alice become confortable prancing around in a pretty skirt. It needs to be a whole lot more.
There’s obviously a distinction between female-led marriage and female domination. A female-led marriage is about the control and decision making in a relationship whereas femdom is about a woman generally who is dominant in a BDSM situation.
FLR and Femdom can and do co-exist obviously and it’s the BDSM aspect I have ramped up.
I change what I want from day to day and dressing Alice in girls’ clothes is not always part of the deal. I like to keep her naked often. That’s a great power kick for me and a clear statement of the power imbalance.
Connected to that is my total ownership of her little clitty, pussy balls and sissy vagina. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, for my amusement.
Keeping Alice naked may involve an element of feminisation that includes her wearing jewellry, female belt maybe, female heeled shoes, bows/clips/alice band etc in her hair and maybe some clitty decoration.
You get the picture. I don’t let her get comfortable in that pretty sissy dress.
Chastity and orgasm control
I covered a major change in our FLR lifetyle in previous posts. This is to control Alice’s orgasms and ejaculations. I wrote about my reasons here – Sissy Mess Prevention, The Orgasm Gap and Sissy Training so I won’t repeat myself.
I also write articles on the Vocal Media platform and my latest post also covers the question of male chastity and orgasm/ejaculation control – The Male Chastity Question. (opens in a new window).
I make a point in the Vocal Media post that I’ve added milking to our routine to ensure there are no health risks. My research indicates semen retention may be beneficial to a male however I’ve also noted preliminary research showing that ejaculation may reduce the risk of prostate cancer so I don’t want to take chances.
You can read how I do this in the Vocal Media post, needless to say, there’s a little more to it than just allowing Alice to cum.
This ejaculation control rule has been as big a change as putting her in a skirt. It’s improved her submission and and her ability to perform. By the use of denial, she’s more often in a state of sexual desire which gives me increased power and control over her.
I also no longer hold back when I think something humiliating I do to Alice is funny, I just laugh. This is a change as I used to think of her feelings so I tried to suppress it. I now just laugh at her if I feel like it.
Recently I played with her clitty for three full hours but denied her each time she got to the edge. It was the most fun I’ve had for a while. And each time, I laughed at her.
It’s a release for me to allow myself to express my feelings in laughter this was. Honestly, humiliating Alice, or any sissy, is damn good fun so why not let it out?
Sissy relationships
One form of humiliation that is a taboo to a heterosexual male is ‘forced’ sex with another sissy. Note the forced is in inverted commas for those who don’t understand the meaning in the ‘forced’ fem fetish. More apostrophes there to be sure.
From some comments on my blog, it appears some readers don’t understand the concept of forced in this scenario, I’ll be clearer for those who need things spelt out – forced here means the sissy acquiescing to something such as sissy sex to be able to say it wasn’t their choice.
Which of course it is. They need to project the act onto someone forcing them.
Alice is, underneath everything, a male and heterosexual and this is what makes the idea so attractive to me.
I’ve written about this before on this blog but I have several ideas. One is to get Alice to date a feminine sissiy. By this I mean take Alice takes them out for a drink and a meal in his male mode and them in sissy mode while I watch from another part of the bar or restaurant.
This is a great start but the opportunities for humiliation are even greater once I invite them back home for activities. Activities will be directed by me and I have no limits here. The further the better.
Alice is reluctant (we have that ‘forced’ dynamic here for those of limited understanding who need me to be clear in black and white) and it’s proving difficult beyond discussion and making her play with a dildo.
I see it as inevitable and I know she wants me to prod a little more so she can say it was not her choice. It’s the dynamic. We get that even if some readers don’t.
I do have at least two contacts who are willing once a few logistics are sorted out.
New friends in the scene
I’ve increased my efforts to find others near us in London who can become friends. It can be difficult as I want people we can get on with outside of fetish & kink too. This includes other couples with a femdom dynamic, a feminine sissy or two and other dominant ladies.
Of course, I want a feminine sissy as a friend and playmate for Alice.
Female Led Relationships are alive and well
The secret to a successful FLR is keeping things fresh and increasing the kink. Let me know in the comments what you suggest to take things to another level.
And if you enjoyed this post, please end me a tip – it helps me to continue writing and you can do it anonimously through this PayPal link.
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Yet another thoughtful and interesting post Lady Alexa. Would I be right to believe you are looking at a reverse cuckold situation? Alice may see it this way and feel threatened that you’ll abandon her hence the resistance.
While I’m way past this I remember having similar thoughts when my ex- arranged for me to get intimate with guys. She worked on my shreds of masculinity by challenging my confidence and ability to do a task she set. Without escalating she carried on chipping away for some weeks until the ultimatum “I’m very disappointed that you aren’t brave or committed enough to try this for me. You’ve gained so much and just doing this for me would mean so much. You need to decide if this continues or not and soon Natasha.”
The carrot was The Rocky Horror Show being a few weeks away and, although unspoken, I was given to understand there’d be no dressing up for it if we went at all.
Needless to say I surrendered and was entertaining within a few days. She recorded the whole event and the look on my face when he unloaded shocked me to the core – I couldn’t claim I hated it after that. She arranged several guys over a week or so and, by the end I realised I really enjoyed it.
I hope you succeed with Alice as I’m sure she will get some pleasure too which is a very good thing moving forward.
I wouldn’t define it as a reverse cuckold since I expect Alice to continue to do her duties for me. I view her future sissy games as what you describe as stripping away more of her masculinity and deepening her submission in the most extreme way I can think of.
Dear Lady Alexa, you wrote lengthily about your ideal of female superiority and male “domestication” in your posts in earlier years and that you wish this would became so general, piecemally, that it would lead to a society where FLR/FLM relationships are the norm. I myself live in a “semi-FLM” where my wife manages our finances and she gets the priority in our sexual life – I prefer her leading role, concentrating on her plesure, and our sexual encounters mainly consist of I pampering her (always following her requests) or she tenderly teasing me. And both of us like this style. I also suggested two ideas you might remember – of sensitization of male tits as a kind of teaching femininity for men and also to gently dominating your spouse’s mouth in kissing. About the former I have read that pumice stone, gently used might help in sensitizing some men’s tits when they are quite unsensitive to touch in the beginning.
And those days you wrote that your ideal is faithfulness, and that you exclude sexual relationships with third parties. But using the sissy concept for that, as you mentioned now might lead to an entirely new direction. And I wonder if a society where the concept of sissification also envolves promiscuous sexual relationship is still a good idea. Would remain couples or families stable in such a society? And cannot it lead to a “way down the rabbithole” in your case, too? One idea might lead to another, one change to another and in the end you and your loved feminised husband could separate for different partners – because sexual adventures might become such a driving force in the end that they can overwrite any other reality in the end. What seems to be unlikely now might become realistic following that path because it can gradually change both of you.
Hello Thomas. Your FLR sounds not unlike ours in the sense of a semi-FLR since that’s how we have to manage things. Whilst my ideal is indeed faithfulness, this requires definition. I am increasingly of the idea that I’d like to go further in my sissy’s ‘humiliation’ and to prod her into controlled and observed relationships with other sissies. I don’t believe this would break the concept of faitfulness since I would be there managing it and controlling events but I believe it’s the next step. I’ve writen about this in other posts
Dear Lady Alexa,
great article. I have a few suggestions:
1. How about voice training. There a many videos on youtube and videocall based services that will help Alice speak in a more feminine manner. I’m sure Alice would enjoy reading you love poems in a girly voice.
2. Gestures and general movement. I know you have trained Alice in high heel walking and how to sit elegantly. How about taking it further with greater attention to feminine gestures and mannerisms. Girly hand gestures, eye fluttering etc etc i.e general feminine body language. Many gay males adopt feminine movements to accentuate their effeminate nature.
3. Belly Dance. Basic moves are quick to learn and you could get a visiting teacher for a few private lessons. Get Alice a belly button piercin, harem pants, anklets and a crop top. She can dance for you and ‘visitors’ and ululate at the same time, to see Alice arms in the air twirlinga silk scarf, up on her toes, batting her eye lids and ululating -not much masculinity left there!
4. Put the chastity device on Alice and then get her into a skin tight pvc catsuit. Pair this with a ball gag dildo.
Candy TV
Thanks for the suggestions, Candy. Not so keen on the pvc or ball gag but the other ideas are good.
Dear Lady Alexa,
The problem with sissies, where the illusion of femininity is broken, is their faces – seldom convincing or slapped with thick un-appealing make-up to hide their stubble. To overcome this distraction you could make sissy wear a mask so Alice only sees a beautiful feminine body…perhaps without the distraction she will fall quicker for into your sissy trap. During the rest periods of the day, when you are on a break from playing with Alice, you could have her sniffing sissy’s stockinged feet at all times so that she becomes imbued with sissy’s pheromones and becomes aroused by association. You could instruct sissy to rub Alice’s clitty with one nyloned foot while she probes Alice’s nostrils and mouth with the other. This way Alice the association of sissy’s smell and pleasure will be burnt into Alice’s neurons.
Also have you thought of buying lots of full length mirrors, strategically placed, so wherever Alice looks she sees herself in her short skirts and her gorgeous stockinged legs?
x Brian
We have a couple of full length mirrors yes
Dear Lady Alexa,
Regarding deepening Alice’s femininity you could really go to town on her lingerie and hosiery, dressing her in 5 denier sheer stockings, nylon body tights, silk negligees etc, rather than bog standard thick tights. These types of items have strong links with the male fantasy of a woman and to be forced to wear these same effeminate pieces, would be utterly intoxicating I imagine, weakening Alice even further into submission to you and furthering arousal.
For example for your sissy stay over, you could dress them both as sultry bridesmaids with white hold ups and open toed sandals, they will be rubbing each other’s sheer clad legs and sniffing each other’s pedicured stockinged feet in no time, at which point you will easily be able to manoeuvre them into a full blown 69er for hours at a time under your slapping feet.
x Brian
I think sheer stockings is a great idea
They are the best . You should join denier court it’s for lush lady’s like you Lady Alexa 💋💋 love penny . Your humble sissy maid curtsy
Hello Lady Alexa,
regarding forced sissy sex. I am looking at it from a heterosexual perspective so I understand Alice’s reluctance. However if you were to have a feminine looking sissy stay over for a period of time, prancing around in sheer stockings and silk nighties, I have no doubt that after copious tease and denial – eg stroking Alice to distraction while she is forced to sniff sissy’s stockinged feet, or being spanked while lying across sissy’s stockinged lap, with her slitty clasped in sissy’s thighs, her face inches away from sissy’s stockinged toes, or having them wrestle on the carpet in full body nylons with no knickers, I think that eventually a tipping point would be reached where Alice breaks, and surrenders with total abandon to uninhibited sissy sex.
x Brian
I agree. In fact, this is how I intend to progress. I think a feminine sissy combined with not allowing Alice to orgasm and hence easily aroused will have the desired result. My idea would be indeed tease and denial and then to make them slow dance with clitties exposed and touching.
Lady Alex, I really dig your blog. You have the best out there by far on FLR’s. I think everyone lost track of what you were talking about or I did. I had my first mistress a few years ago and she ordered me to suck a man’s man’s cock who was present at this BDSM scene. So I did. I would never have done that on my own or the man had asked me to suck his cock I never would have done it. BUT being my mistress ordered me to do it, I got very hard and turned on about blowing him. Only because she ordered me to do it! I only hope my next mistress orders me to do something I don’t want to do like let a man fuck me in the ass because I bet I love it and I am NOT gay. Do you see the difference? Do you see what I am trying to say?
Anyway I am a new reader and keep up the good writing and I will keep reading if my new mistress lets me.
Thank you for your comments. If your mistress has any problems with you reading get her to email me at ladyalexa@mail.com as I think my posts can help FLRs
Hello lady Alexa, it’s good to see you post again, I hope Alice and you are well.
I live in Brazil, and I’m a deep fan of your blog, I’ve even read some of your books, your FLR is what I want.
Nowadays I’m encouraging my wife to dominate me, I already have a house slave routine and I do practically all the housework, but I still haven’t been able to convince her about feminization. But I believe I’m on the right path.
Thanks for your posts, we’ve been looking forward to it.
( Sorry for my English , I ‘m using Google translator )
Hello and nice to hear from you from Brazil.
I’m pleased to hear you have a house slave routine.
Instead of feminisation why not try first doing your work naked? That shows submission too. From that you could move onto a dress or skirt?
yes lady Alexa , it’s a try, I’ll suggest it to my wife , and who knows we can evolve later, I really want to serve as a sissy wife, however it’s going well little by little , she still seems to be resistant to the idea of feminization.
thank you very much for answering my comment.
Lady Alexa,
I always enjoy your posts. I appreciate the honest a real world perspective that you provide. Regarding feminization you go much deeper than my Goddess wife will ever go, and so for me, reading your experiences is exciting fantasy for me. My wife has me in panties 24/7 and also has several sissy panties that she requires me to wear for different tasks. I don’t know why but I do get aroused when she requires me to put on the sissy panties and she will laugh at this and comment on how cute I look. It is embarrassing to me that I can not control my arousal when slipping on the silky sissy panties, but obviously so very exciting for me. That combination of emotions are mind blowing and thrilling for me. It is great that you don’t hold back your laughter with your husband. I think it makes the whole experience fun for both partners.
I’d llke to offer a suggestion on taking things to a higher level with your husband. I had an experience years ago that was absolutely mind blowing and really blurred my limits relating to being a sissy. Like your husband, I do not consider myself a sissy and do not want to have any type of sexual experience with another guy. I had an experience with an online mistress, where she gave me a feminine name and had me stroke my cock. However, she was referring to my cock using my male name. So for example, if my feminine name was Kathy, she would instruct, “Kathy, I want you to stroke Joe’s cock.” I would stroke my cock imagining that it was another man’s cock because I was in the mental mode of being Kathy. She spent a lot of time having me look at “Joe’s” cock and feel it and caress it. She had me bring Joe’s cock to the edge over and over again and talked about how good it made me feel. It was absolutely mind blowing that I was imagining my own cock as another man’s cock and as I stroked it, I was actually pleasuring myself so it felt really good for me. It was such a mental mind fuck for me that drove me wild and I have to admit there were lingering affects weeks afterward. It had me actually thinking about what it would be like to stroke another man’s cock. Perhaps a few sessions like that might soften your husband’s limits a bit.
Feel free to e-mail if you want more details or I can answer questions via the comments if you prefer. Thanks again for your wonderful blog.
-Joe
Thanks for your considered reply Joe. I enjoy the embarrassed look Alice gets when I put her in little girly skirts so I can imagine your embarrassment
I’m really happy to see another post from you. I was getting worried about you and Alice because it had been so long since your last post. I really appreciate the update on Alice’s feminization and your flr. It makes me really happy to see a lifestyle couple and read your posts. It brightened my day to see this one. Best of luck to you and your Sissy husband!
No problems, I was just busy on other things
I definitely agree that being able to prod and humiliate a sissy is the thing that attracts me most to this lifestyle.
Knowing I can dress him how I want, or even choose to have him around the house in nothing but a pair of sexy heels – it’s invigorating.
Would love to see some updated pictures of Alice in her iconic heels and frilly skirts!
I’ll see what I can do re new photos
Oh please do lady alexa x
I definitely agree that being able to prod and humiliate a sissy is the thing that attracts me most to this lifestyle.
Knowing I can dress him how I want, or even choose to have him around the house in nothing but a pair of sexy heels – it’s invigorating.
Would love to see some updated pictures of Alice in her iconic heels and frilly skirts!
I will see what I can do.
Do you call him Alice infront of purple who don’t know about your FLR? I quite like the idea of calling my sissy Princess as it’s still very emasculating but not too unusual?
It depends. Outside the home I call her Alice but not with friends outside the scene
Good morning Lady Alexa. So good to see you are back . Hope you are both ok ? . As we get older there’s no telling what can happen. Yes dressing every day can definitely take the zest out of the lust/ pleasure. As been dressing for what seems like eternity. I do find becomes a bit mundane. Hope your back for good xxxx penny
People see what they want.
I’m not sure what the two of you are expecting from a female led relationship. For it to work both of you have to be on the same page. Yes the female can “push’ somewhat but the other partner has to be in agreeance and to have their limits explored. To me it seems Alice is topping from the bottom.
Let me point out that I come from a family of loonie rednecks. ‘poofters’ all need to be shot at dawn. So we keep right away from them. The wife, (I use the term wife because no matter what our lifestyle is she is still my wife), comes from a family of very conservative loonies that think too much cleavage on the news reader on TV amounts to pornography. We keep right away from them also. Fortunately, there’s over 2000 kilometers between us all. We have a daughter and 3 teenage girls. They are very progressive left leaning folk. But only if you agree with their opinions!! We keep away from them as well!! But we do live in a city of over 3/4 million, so we have no fear of being ‘found out’. BUT who cares? We live a very short life on earth and there’s no time to live the life other expect of you.
I’ve lived over 20 years as my wife’s sissy. I have real breasts, (36 C). I wear loose shirts if need be. I have pierced ears, so have politicians, bikies, gay, and almost every other walk of life. My clitty is small, tiny, but it works just fine for the wife.
I’ve seen God in a near death experience in hospital. So ask yourself how important is living a female led relationship to both of you? If it’s not a high priority, then let Alice dictate the terms. If it means everything to you, including Alices happiness, then go for it. Push the limits.
The above may sound harsh. It’s meant to be. But as I said, life is short. I know how hard it can be at times. But being who you are has to mean something. Doesn’t it?
My advice? Pierce Alices ears. Go out dressed up. If someone comments will the world stop turning? My bet is that unless you do something very silly in public then no one will know, care or even notice. Even if they lift their face from their phone they won’t care.
Belinda/Bruce
I think you misread my article completely.
People see what they want.
People see what they want.
Hello Lady Alexa. Mistress and i are so happy that You have begun to post again. W/we thoroughly enjoy reading Your posts and continue to learn from them. Thank You for continuing to document Your loving treatment and development of Your feminine “girl”.
Best Regards from U/us.
Lady Alexa, thank you so much for posting again after such a long break. It is greatly appreciated. I look forward to your posts and always find them both facinating and stimulating. I love the way your relationship is evolving over time and i enjoy reading about your changes in attitude and what this means for Alice (she really is a lucky lucky sissy).
I hope you find a suitable sissy companion (how I wish it was me!) and I am certain that Alice will come around to your way of thinking in good time. I can’t wait to hear all about Alice’s ‘date night’ and subsequent activities under your direction.
Thank you again for posting.
Glad you enjoyed it Darren. Still working on Alice, I’m sure she’ll agree eventually and even enjoy it.
Oh lady alexa please think of me when you’re choosing a sissy to play with Alice .or for Alice to play with . X penny essex
Per your statements “Activities will be direct by me and I have no limits here. The further the better. Alice is reluctant and it’s proving difficult beyond discussion and making her play with a dildo, but I see it as inevitable”.
Regardless of relationship type. Even slave/sub. Consent is always key. Forcing anything, on anyone, shows a lack of love and respect. It could also be perceived as criminal behavior.
You’ve chosen to read it the way you want to try to make a point that’s not there. Where does it say I’d force my husband to so anything and how do you think I could force someone twice as strong physically and about a foot taller? The fact I have no limits but my husband does and nothing has happened implies consent. Inevitable means my husband will come round to it as he always does. Read it properly, read my other posts about how we consent to what we do and stop trying to find reasons to be annoyed and make points that don’t exist.
Yesa, I’m wondering what suggestions you might provide to actually find a mistress to assist with my feminization process. I’ve tried several web sites and the vast majority are scams.
Thanks
If you’re just looking for a mistress to assist with your feminisation process all you’re going to find are professional mistresses or scam sites. Otherwise, what’s in it for her? Put yourself the other way around and ask if you’d voluntarily assist to satisfy someone’s kink but there’s nothing in it for you?
Lady Alexa, I SOOO would love to have a Woman run relationship as I am unsure what to do regularly to Celebrate the Feminine Wonder with these Woman’s parts Mother God has decorated me with.
I’ve given up the “sissy” part as I will NEVER be as Beautiful as You and Your Sisters are, I just need to know how to Worship You properly with Your Parts upon me.
I’m not sure what you mean about my parts???