A sissy husband is such a fun thing to have
This post is a follow on from my previous post A Sissy Husband and A Strict Wife where I discussed a stronger control mechanism for my sissy husband and my reasons for taking this approach in our wife-led marriage.
Many readers misunderstood the nature of my control, mistaking it for chastity. Other readers were concerned about health issues. Let’s look at what I mean by control and mess prevention in more detail, why I’m continuing to employ it on my sissy husband and how it’s progressing.
SISSY CLITTY CONTROL
I’ve always believed that one of the most important elements of a wife-led marriage is control of your male partner’s genitals. I feel that it’s possibly more important than putting your husband in a pretty skirt.
I’ve written about this before in other posts such as Controlling the Male Clitty, Redesiging Your Sissy’s Clitty and My Thoughts on a Sissy’s Clitty.
Since I don’t want chastity in our marriage and I believe chastity cages are primarily about the sissy’s excitement, I’ve only recently realised the benefits of controlling ejaculation in an FLR.
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MESS PREVENTION
Once the business of reproduction is done, there is no need that I am aware of for a sissy to ejaculate. If they do, the only result is a sticky smelly mess and a noticeable reduction of interest in being submissive and girly for a day or two. Ejaculation is nothing more than a moment of sissy pleasure. This is not the point of a wife-led marriage.
Ejaculation prevention is therefore a highly effective control mechanism that places the entire focus of a relationship on the mistress’s pleasure. And fun.
So what do I mean by ejaculation prevention? Let’s be clear.
- Ejaculation prevention is not chastity. Alice’s clitty is not regularly locked (note Chastity Cage section below.) We enjoy full marital relations in the bedroom (and elsewhere) regularly. We are like any normal loving husband/wife vanilla relationship. We have full sexual relations, the only thing missing is Alice must not cum.
- Ejaculation prevention means exactly that, never ejaculating. I’m not talking about spoiled orgasms or milking. I mean not cumming. Spoiled orgasms/milking defeats the point.
- I am unconcerned about Alice’s orgasm. I realise there are a short few frustrating moments for her where she misses the feeling, but it’s short lived. She can get over it. If she could orgasm without release this would be perfectly acceptable. I’m not practising ejaculation prevention to spoil her orgasms but to prevent having to experience all that smelly mess males produce. I believe there are ways for sissies to orgasm without release and if Alice can find a way then that would be fine by me. The onus is on her to make this work in any way that does not break my basic rule of no discharge. That’s all I ask for.
- I have found no physical reasons why this is dangerous. If you have doubts in your own relationship, you should consult a doctor. I am not a doctor I’ve just researched on medical web sites and my experience so far is positive.
During intercourse, Alice is learning to stop prior to cumming, cool down and start again once calm. The onus is on her to ensure my full satisfaction beforehand so I’m not inconvenienced when she stops during a session. It’s her responsibility to stop before ejaculation but I do keep a watch on things just in case.
I would be extremely annoyed if she were to cum. She would face punishment but I would also view it as a betrayal. This is too serious to contemplate and she knows it.
THE BENEFITS I’VE OBSERVED
Alice hasn’t cum for several months. This is what I’ve noticed in Alice so far. This is not a medical research just my opinion and observation:
- Improved submission.
- A stronger focus on me and what I want.
- Increased vigour. She appears to have more energy.
- Increased sexual energy. She does not need time to recover from ejaculation, obviously. This can be a day or so at her age. She’s now ready permanently. This is a wonderful revelation.
- Increased focus on my sexual needs. Her role is to satisfy me.
- An improved sense of self control. She seems calmer.
- An improved look physically – hair, skin and eyes.
- Knowing that ejaculation is not allowed means Alice concentrates in having a more meaningful relationship.
- Fun for me – I can play with and tease Alice knowing she’s not going to be allowed to cum. This is exquisite.
- No nasty mess to wash out afterwards; I remain clean. No risk of stains on the sheets.
CHASTITY CAGE
I’ve always trusted Alice not to play with herself when I’m not at home. Her clitty and pussy balls don’t belong to her but to me, so she’s never been allowed to masturbate. Control has been easy because I expect her to perform regularly and, at her age, she needs some time to recover.
If she had ever played with herself, her performance would drop and she’d take a day or so to get back up to speed. I’d know and there would be serious trouble.
That said, I became concerned that my new no ejaculation rule would be too much for Alice and she would become weak. Human nature. I was worried she’d not be able to resist touching herself. So I bought a chastity device from my friends at Oxy Shop. It’s nylon and very light with a lot of holes so she doesn’t get sweaty or uncomfortable.
This one I chose was the Guardian 3D Printed Chastity Cage – You can get them here.
I only lock it on to her little clitty when I’m not at home. I remove it when I’m back. Generally I expect her naked or without panties as I want to look, fiddle or dress it up so a cage doesn’t work at home.
HEIGHTENING THE CONTROL EXPERIENCE
I love to play with Alice. To have my own sissy husband that I can do anything with and to, is incredible. I would never do anything that hurt her physically (not pain or blood) nor do anything disgusting (toilet play for example). Everything else is in play and I have no limits to what I can do to my sissy. That is such a wonderful power to have.
My new power is to forbid her ejaculation.
I loved this idea so much I even wrote it into my latest forced feminisation novel now available on Amazon — Lockdown Feminization 3.
We have agreed I own Alice’s body. We agree everything in the relationship and how to make it work. It’s true I decided on the no ejaculation rule but we have spoken at length on how to make it work for us. I know it’s not her favourite rule but she understands that in a wife-led marriage, she’s not going to like everything I want but that’s what she signed up for so she has to help me make it work.
I usually choose to put her in very feminine micro-skirts (or nothing). She’s not permitted to wear panties these days, of course. I found the Oxy-Shop tri cock ring sling recently. It holds her clitty up and out, even when she’s soft, so it pokes out on display for me at all times.
Alice can’t be hard all the time, it’s not possible, so this ring is a sort of splint. You can just see it in the photo below. Alice obscured the end of her little cutie in the photo as she’s shy.
It’s exceptional fun to play with her and get her to the edge and stop. This is something that never fails to entertain me, I often get the giggles when playing. I especially enjoy seeing her face screwed up in frustration when I stop just at that moment. She soon recovers.
A couple of rare photos with me in them Just my hands though. I’m a very private person.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE A SISSY HUSBAND
A wife-led marriage has to be fun for both. It’s a relationship where the husband agrees to give control to the woman. This is not a game, it’s a lifestyle. It means that while the male will gain all the benefits of a living matriarchal lifestyle, there may be aspects he would not choose. This isn’t optional.
I’m sure Alice would prefer to be permitted to choose when to ejaculate at times but it’s not about that. The pressure and the lack of release is what drives the relationship to even better levels and is the ultimate control for the woman. I do occasionally ‘milk’ her at times without allowing orgasm and you can read more about orgasm control here on Vocal Media where I also publish articles and stories on FLRs .
Leave me a comment about your experiences of orgasm and ejaculation control.
I think it is safe to say that Alice is one of the luckiest men/sissies anywhere. I wish I could turn my wife into you Lady Alexa.
I’d say she is
Been a sissy most my life, at 48, I doubt anything we’d do would still give me the cuckold angst nor crossdressing humiliation it once did. 8 yrs ago my then gf lost our 3rd stillborn, fell into a depression, and to stop myself from begging/bartering, I put myself in locked chastity. It gave me the presence of mind not to push her, but it was my choice. a few months later she had me wearing it whenever I went out. but it didn’t solve her depression and she left me for 2 yrs. Now we live together again, but as friends only. I am still 100% asexual, but must admit, my mess is easily licked up, and often a daily event. I read about prostate issues with those that don’t orgasm, and I can’t wear a cage for more than 75 hrs without 3 hrs+ breaks. I’ve moved more to tucking as I prefer the look and more effective erection control. I’d luv an update on Alice’s situation.
Note1: sitting upsidedown on the couch, a sissy can point it’s lil clitty during orgasm for a lovely facial or possibly catch all of it in their mouth.
Note2: some tentra & prostate milking allows for the release without the orgasm, which keeps the disposition of one who never came. I’ve had multiple orgasms this way and remain thirsty and desperate.
Note3: I have zero precum, a very dry sissy unless prostate manipulations. Does Alice precum during edging? I don’t, but I hear that is not common.
Note4: do you have a preference on cages while on display? does Alice differ for comfort?
Thank you for sharing and posting your situation. I do not know if I could ever endure FLR, but I do have more feminine heros in my life. I just like my own free time, and am not as social as you two seem.
My problem with Alice cumming is not the orgasm but the discharge and then the subsequent downturn in submissiveness.
I do not like cages so Alice’s clitty is on display in it’s full glory at all times. Maybe a ribbon around it. I may move towards prostate milking at some stage to be sure all remains ok down below. And check if there is any effect on perfomance after.
You can publish my email if you wish Mistress
I need to become a sissy slave
I have a sexy womanly ass
I need to be controlled
I’m an older good looking guy
john11122222@yahoo.com
Dear Lady Alexa
I can see how Alice is in safe hands. Firm and safe
X
Hmm lucky Alice I say . I hope she appreciates. Lady Alexa xx penny
Have you ever considered letting him masturbate into his own mouth? Making him beg you to watch? It’s lot’s of fun in a very embarrassing way! And I have yet to meet a woman who was not both amused and aroused by this. Then you get to tease him about how cute he looks with his come all over his face
I don’t see how he could masturbate into his own mouth? He’d need to be a contortionist. Besides, my husband is not allowed to cum.
Sounds fun . I’d bend to the job in hand
I have little problem with a FLR, my wife pretty much leads us. But even she says keeping me from having orgasms is too far into self entitlement and not allowing me to enjoy an orgasm occasionally should signify we went from FLD to Bitch led Relationship. She laughs when you mention a mess….yes thats why they make condoms. We both agree you, to some degree hate males, yes a FLR is about the wife but their is another person involved though clearly you don’t accept that.
No man should ever be married to one as selfish and self centered as I have read here. My wife even said she’d expect a divorce if she was that lousy of a spouse, and she says “She actually loves me”.
Wrong on every point. Just because you don’t like something doesnt mean every FLR couple don’t. Have you not considered that my husband loves to be controlled and humiliated in this way? Not everyone’s like you.
I am just as your husband lady Alexa I want to be trained too be the best wife I can be and humiliated to prove I am what I am . And to stay clean and dry so mistress / lady Maria . Can have as much enjoyment for as long as possible. My enjoyment is seeing her enjoying her self . My dry orgasm is as fulfilling just as much if not more than a messy quick ending . Who wants to get to the finishing line first not me . To then look at my dissatisfied wife 💋 penny
Dear Lady Alexia,
Thank you for an informative post, Ma’am. I fully understand the need for focusing on your sissies genitals as well not allowing her to cum.
I do have a question that goes in a slightly slightly different direction. Do you ever incorporate what I will call extreme feminization with denial. By extreme feminization I mean having your sissy appearing as, say, a beauty contestant. Hair and make-up professionally done, full and complete jewelry, facials etc..Dressed in an evening gown or perhaps a bikini. Would you see any advantage to this combining it with denial ?
Thank you, Ma’am, and please continue educating us.
Sincerely,
Chuck
I would very much like my sissy to have a professional female makeover. And to be clear, denial refers to being denied orgasm not sex which she has to perform regularly.
Hmmm a full professional make over would be just the best thing a mistress / lady could give her wife . Then both go out for lunch at the savoy . And shopping in Harrods for new lingerie and dresses to match . Hmmmm a sissy wifes dream . Please read this lady Maria my sexy wife ps lady Alexa let’s book it up and surprise our other half’s 💋 penny
We prefer to not be so public
So do we lady Alexa . But the thought is so nice 💋 penny
Dear Lady Alexa,
I don’t really understand myself. How could I be sexually excited about the thought of never being allowed to cum again? When I read of you denying Alice to ever again have an orgasm with even a tiny bit of semen released, it makes my little clitty ache with desire! I have not orgasmed for quite some time but I am fighting to deny myself at this moment. I think about 25 to 30 one finger diddles on my soft clitty would cause me to pass the point of no return at this moment. I will be a good sissy and not allow it, but oh my goodness….I want it so bad! I am stimulating my nipples as I read this. The feeling of my swollen little nipples is extasy. Can you see me writhing in pleasure and desire? I hope you enjoy the image!
I invite all dominant ladies who read this post to reply on how they would train me if I were a sissy male in their stable. Would you tease and push me further encouraging me further into my femininine desires or would you stop me and be unmerciful in your requirements? Controlling a sissy males orgasm and denying them forever seem to be very different objectives. If I gave over all control of everything including the ability and choice to orgasm to a strong woman, I hope she would not deny me forever. Perhaps this is best though if the leader says no….forever….you may never cum. I think I would cry and pout if given these requirements.
Again, I feel my clitty stir as I ponder this. I increase my desire by rubbing and pulling at my nipples swollen from phyto estrogens in flax seed and fenugreek. It is not fully hard but slightly firm and my little princess has a tiny drop of pre cum wetting my panties as I write. I will deny myself pretending that I am your soft and feminine sissy and share this sweet agony with Alice as if we were sisters serving the same Lady. I will continue to pleasure myself without giving in. I voluntarily give you these feelings of strong sexual desire with no release in sight. Though you are not my Lady and you already have a sissy and desire no more, I hope you will enjoy the mental and physical control I give you as a gift due to such a strong, dominant and powerful woman.
Cindy
Well here’s the thing, why are you even thinking about your own gratification? If you want a real flr or a real sissy then it’s all about the woman not you.
Alice gets to enjoy being in a high state of stimulation for longer. Sissy orgasm is merely a passing moment, it’s uneccessary.
I’m no longer having regular orgasms but I’d never have the willpower to do it without a chastity device for those times I feel weak. Sometimes the frustration is enormous and other times I forget about orgasms completely. I do drain slowly at times; I can’t stop that, which often comes from teasing.
Happy Holidays!
You have to learn
Yes lady Alexa learning is the best and most fun part 💋 penny
Yoyu need to be trained properly
Yes only with love training and a good lady / mistress . And the want for us as the new girls to please our very special lady’s for as long as required 💋
Penny. You have put it so beautifully. Thank you xxxx
Hmm lady Alexa . You say we need too be trained properly. I love that . But what deterrent do you use ? I would like to ask all what they think of . If you can’t stay dry then eat cream pie . Would they see this as a deterrent or reward ? 💋 penny
Depends on the person
Yes it does . Let’s see who does and who doesn’t . 💋penny
Hi lady Alexa . Mistress Maria’s training for me . Is wear a cock ring around my whole package then a tri cock ring . Then a smaller ring around my balls to stop slippage. Then a suspender belt . The rear strap loops pulled through my leg and the loops put tightly around my balls pulling them right back then the front straps loops put tightly just under the bell end pulling cock up and adjusted so pointing straight out . From body . This takes so muck concentration to not come . Plus straining cock is out prominent for all to see hmmm
What will you do if she has a wet dream? I am in my late forties and if I don’t ejaculate for several weeks I still get them
It hasn’t happened yet but I expect a couple of accidents at some stage.
Well it’s only been 1 week but have had no release or accidents yet my wife / lady Maria has taken on board. All of the above and started me on the road to a no mess finish . I am wearing stockings and suspenders daily but . She has not called me her wife yet or said if she is going to feminise me . Fingers crossed . I do have a 3 ring steel cock ring that as lady Alexa says makes thing stand out real nice . . A thank you to lady Alexa for all the good and hard work . Penny
Sounds like you are waiting for that moment to be called her wife. That will be a tricky moment for you to remain san mess!!
Yes Kim definitely. But I would try my best to stay clean and dry . 🤞
I have not allowed my sissy hubby Susie to cum for over two years. Although she has accepted that she may never get another ejaculation, she still sometimes reacts. The reactions range from begging, pleading or crying. I treat this with sympathy and often take her in my arms, cuddle and suckle her at my breast to soothe and calm her.
Occasionally she will whine and complain, even as she does her chores. Complaints are met with firm action. She is made to kneel on the floor with rice strewn. Believe me, it can be uncomfortable. Often I rub her clitty with a cream that burns and her eyes water and she sobs. Once I even rubbed Tabasco sauce on her clitty and the tip. It stopped her complaints for several months.
The worst punishment is when she becomes sullen and tries to talk back when given instructions. This has happened only twice. A hard caning with my trusted tool left her screaming for mercy. I don’t hold back on the rare times punishment is required. She became a quivering, sobbing girl with tears and snot running down her face. She then has to stand with her face to the wall without trying to rub her back.
It is now many many months since her last misdemeanour and she is now more compliant and accepts that she may never ejaculate again.
She still may harbour some hopes, as dreams take long to die.
I tell her it is for her own benefit as she can now focus on me, my pleasure and her duties to serving me with total devotion.
Love
Asha
Good hear Natasha, there’s nothing worse than all that smelly gooey mess. Yuk
Hmm what a lucky girl he is keep up the good work all men should be feminised and kept dry 💋 penny
Kept dry. I like it
Yes it’s such a shame that the majority of people don’t understand. Flr or that being kept dry is so much more fun for both . If only when we are feminised our climaxes become like a females . But Until then stay dry play all night and day . It’s the only way forward. For penny and lady Maria 💋 penny ps lady Alexa so pleased you liked my comment. It means so much curtsy.
I don’t understand either, Penny. A dry sissy is a well behaved sissy.
What an interesting post and comments as well. I don’t think there is a wrong answer, whatever works best in each individual FLR is right for that couple. While I completely understand Alexa’s logic and reasoning, I have decided to extend the amount of time between Selina’s releases. I use chastity on rare occasions as a punishment or insurance she won’t “cheat” when I’m away. Selina actually does not like being put in chastity so even the slightest hint of it makes her more docile and obedient. In one of your recent posts Lady A I believe you said an erect “princess” ( my name for Selina’s cock) is the ultimate sign of respect. I don’t ever envision castrating her as I have too many uses for her princess….penetration, insuring obedience, humiliation, to name a few. It has been 3+ months since her last release and I’m not quite sure when the next one will be! Thanks for an excellent and thought provoking post!
Good points, Katrina. It is indeed what works on each FLR. And your point on a sissy’s ‘princess’ is well made. A sissy’s princess is a joy to own and use. I did indeed say that an erect ‘princess’ is a sign of respect. I’ve done three or four posts on the uses of a sissy’s princess which include sex, control, humiliation, respect and to play with. It’s such a fun toy to have and stopping a sissy’s orgasm increases the level and intensity of enjoyment on all these elements.
Oh I do like that term an erection is the ultimate sign of respect. I think I will be introducing that language with emma. Kim xx
Good to hear. An erection display shows repect and desire for a mistress
That has really got in to my head as a thought to exploit with emma
Good
Lady Alexa, responding with all respect as a male. I love my wife and what she says goes. I screwed up a while back, almost a year ago. She suspected I had “taken care of myself”! And then I lied about it and denied it. When I fessed up she decided if she was to stay with me there would be a price to pay. I regularly satisfy her in hope that someday it will be mutual. So just saying, if there is something you want from Alice, I.e a piercing, making out with another sissy while you watch, going out in public wearing a skirt, whatever she is resisting, her release is a powerful tool for you if you decide to use it. Not sure how it will eventually happen for me, but I would do anything for my wife for a release right now. Anything!
Yes indeed, controlling Alice’s release has proved to be far more successful than I’d anticipated. And after some months of denying her release, it would be very obvious if she’d taken care of herself
You are implementing permanent ejaculation denial on Alice? There’s not a lot of difference between permanent denial and castration, if you truly mean permanent. I admit to having second thoughts when the costs of the Claudia’s procedure became apparent. Putting breasts on her proved so beneficial, we knew castration and the removal of testosterone would be even more powerful. We’re not wealthy by any measure, but mutually felt it would be money well spent. Claudia confided in me that with her breasts, she felt, for the first time, actually feminine and not like she was simply participating in a fetish. Her tits are real, tangible proof of femininity that cannot be ignored. Her castration has exponentially accelerated her feminization. She has embraced her new, softer lifestyle and I’m beaming with pride at how far she has come. It’s no longer a matter of if she will accept the next step, because she will, eagerly. My role has become that of a helpful, guiding girlfriend, helping her navigate the mysterious waters of womanhood. You should consider putting small breasts on Alice. They would compliment nicely with her permanent maleness denial. Has Alice expressed any thoughts about breasts of her own? Or is it out of the question? I believe breasts on a sissy are divine! Claudia has come to adore hers and I see them as the #1 reason for her successful feminization. Everyone has different outcomes in mind for their husbands. Here’s to developing your sissy, just the way you want her.
Jennifer Braun
& Claudia
I’ve implemented ejaculation denial not sexual denial. I expect sex regularly with Alice so castration is not an option. Ejaculation denial just means stopping sex before she cums. This means hand, blow job or penetrative sex.
Lady Alexa,
I have read that it is possible to train a sissy male to have dry orgasms. This usually allows the submissive to orgasm repeatedly with no semen expelled. There are clitty contractions but no sissy juice. This is done with repeat edging and sissy diddling with 1 finger only stopping and starting again and again until the body learns to climax without semen being released. I have not experienced this but it is quite exciting to think of having tiny feminine breasts, a limp clitty unless called on by Mistress to be hard and still cum multiple times in a feminine manner pleasing Mistress again and again with tiny hard clitty and tongue.
I know you do not care if Alice has pleasure but it seems a depressed sissy would not be very much fun for you. Semen will also be released eventually while urinating after too long a period of abstinence showing up as cloudy, thick pee. I have experienced that.
Thank you for a wonderful blog! It is so exciting to read your posts and comments. It is hard to not have damp panties while reading in your site!
Cindy
Yes, we’ve read about dry orgasms too and Alice is looking into it. As for Alice’s pleasure, I was using a euphemism for cummming rather than her pleasure generally which is very important to me.She’s noticed that her semen appears to be discharged through her urine so everything is working out very well indeed in this.
Hmm the thought of real breasts sounds wonderful. I have dd false ones but I would live real ones . Shame it could not happen in my life . 😢 x penny
Too true Penny. Ideally just enough to make it impossible to go without a bra…….
Hi holly . There was a wonderful video on line . Not porn as is now . But of Tanya dawn Hugh’s . Having saline drip boobs done . It was beautiful and they looked amazing. Even though they only lasted 24 hours . 💋 penny
Penny, Tanya does look amazing, but I believe the saline injections are extremely dangerous and shouldn’t be attempted. Apart from that it’s not down to us but our Mistresses whether we have boobs or not. Your Mistress knows best for you not society. you need to trust Her…..
Of course for that to happen all is needed is for your mistress to simply tell you to wear a bra full time……then it would be impossible to go without lolx
If only society would let us all live life as we or our mistresses choose hmm . I’d be first in line for the boobs . Holly what do you do for a bigger bust . Lady Alexa how are Alice’s boobs coming along ? 💋 penny
Of cause it’s not our decision. But our mistresses or lady’s . But we can still dream . And in the real world dd boobs . With me going to work . Would cause a stir lol . 💋 penny
Can Alice give us her thoughts on your decision not to allow her an orgasm please lady Alexa?
Yes I’ll do it on my next post
My thought is every once in a while when you are very pleased with Alice’s behavior you should allow her to cum.
Only as a reward for her being the girl you expect her to be! And of course any such release would be you inserting something from behind until she experiences a female sort of orgasm. Only if she has been a good girl. She will love you even more!
I don’t believe that is a very good idea, RB. I have written many times that I don’t like the smell and mess of male ejaculation and it serves no purpose at out stage of life. I’ve found over the past few months that Alice’s complete ejaculation denial is for the best in so many ways. This new and permanent phase in our relationship is a revelation for me as a woman. I realise that many sissies don’t get it but there it is. Alice’s reward is to see me pleasured, happy and satisfied. She’ll be the girl I want because she no longer has the down period for a day or so after cumming. And she gives me all the loving she can already.
my husband/fem sissy has not been allowed to cum for over 5 years. I would know from her face if she had done.
Yes we have sex and it is essential that i cum bit through training, coaching and threats he is trained not to. His pleasure is seeing me cum and i cum hard..
I fully endorse what you are saying Alex
Nice to hear from you Kim and that you use the same approach.
You’re dead right, it would be easy to tell if your sissy has played with themselves by their face.
And you’re dead right again about training and coaching to train them not to cum with a threat hanging there all the time.
Please do write to me at ladyalexa@mail.com and tell me more about your training. I’m only a few months down the road of enforcing my sissy’s cum retention and I’d appreciate your experience Kim
Dearest Lady Alexa. Your insights on these matters show a deep understanding of Your sissy’s needs and what is best for them: ” FLR is not about a male’s needs beyond the desire and agreement to give the female full leadership, trusting her completely”. Once the Matriarch decides on the way forward, the trust only strengthens the speed and direction of a sissy’s place in Her life. Nevertheless, it is truly inspiring to see how much effort and research Mistresses like Yourself and Kim will go to for Your charges. Thank You both. holly xx
Lady Alexa
I have been in a FLR for some years now. Although it was initially low level that all changed with Covid. My husband was initially furloughed, then required to work from home from late 2020 and finally made redundant in April 2021, he has not worked since. As a key worker I worked through covid and still work but it was during all this time knowing my husband was at home I decided I wanted to increase the level of our FLR and introduce feminisation. She is now a full time sissy girl and housewife. She made quite a reluctant transformation at first and endured many punishments along the way but is now reasonably well behaved and knows and understands her place.
However, like you I don’t like the mess when she ejaculates (usually every couple of weeks) and it does affect her behaviour for a couple of days. I really like the idea of ending all that but was wondering the best way to go about it. Should I ease her into less and less orgasms then just stop allowing them? Is it better to just stop them cold turkey style and if so do I let her know before or after her last one that there will never be another one? Or is it better just to not mention it until she asks why she has not been allowed one for so long?
Hello Nicky. I would advice that you discuss this with your sissy husband. Sit her down to explain the problem and try to take her along with you. It’s what I did. It’s an FLR and the point of an FLR is to make the female’s life better and for the male partner to spend their life ensuring this. Your sissy will at first be thinking only of the impact on her when she has to understand how nasty her mess is for you. Explain that her ejaculations have to end and I suggest you stop them dead and not allow any more. I’m not a doctor and you may need to take advise if he has prostate problems but in my case I stopped them from the moment of the conversation and despite a couple of accidents, this has been extremely successful for the reationship, especially as her focus is now entirely on my satisfaction as she’ll never get to orgasm anyway. Explain this does not mean the end of intimacy and sex but that she will need to stop and calm during activites as ejaculation is no longer allowed.
Lady Alexa
Thank you for your excellent advice. I thought I would drop you a quick update. I sat Michelle down on Friday evening and spoke to her at some length about the fact I have decided to end her ejaculations as I consider them a nasty unwanted mess. The silly girl seemed to struggle initially with the concept of ‘for ever’, she seemed to have got it into her head that she would get to cum this weekend just gone.
She cried a bit when the realisation started to set in that, when I allowed her to cum a couple of weeks ago it was the last time I will ever allow it.
I let the tears go, I know she always enjoyed being allowed to cum but then she let herself down by pleading with me. She knows perfectly well that I consider pleading an unacceptable behaviour as that indicates she is thinking about herself and not about me. That is not how our FLR marriage works so I have had the unpleasant task of punishing her.
To be fair I understand her reasoning for pleading and for a brief moment I considered allowing her to cum just once more, but then I realised there really wasn’t any point as there was absolutely nothing in it for me, and once I allow that sort of behaviour to influence my decisions it could be the start of a slippery slope into her thinking she no longer has to respect and abide by my decisions.
As a consequence of her pleading she now has a particularly sore backside and is also, ironically, locked in her chastity cage, a device neither of us are particularly fond of, but she hates it a lot more than I do. It has delayed my intention of training her in a complete end to her ejaculations which is annoying but not the worst thing in the world. Of course usually after being sentenced to the cage for a few weeks she is allowed to cum once I let her out, but that of course won’t be the case this time so I will have to see how she handles that.
In summary, although things did not go as well as I had hoped, I do believe she now understands that she will not be permitted to cum ever again. I do anticipate the occasional accident which I have told her will have a consequence, possibly involving her sucking a man off. She has never done this before as I don’t really like involving others in our relationship, but I do have a close male friend who is gay and knows about our FLR. He has often expressed an interest in having Michelle suck him off and it is a path I would like to take her down at some point, as I believe it is a skill all girls should learn. As a young girl I certainly sucked a number of dicks myself, as despite hating it I felt back then it was my duty as it’s what girls do. So we shall have to see what the future holds.
It has delayed my intention of training her in a complete end to her ejaculations which is annoying but not the worst thing in the world. Of course usually after being sentenced to the cage for a few weeks she is allowed to cum once I let her out, but that of course won’t be the case this time so I will have to see how she handles that.
In summary, although things did not go as well as I had hoped, I do believe she now understands that she will not be permitted to cum ever again. I do anticipate the occasional accident which I have told her will have a consequence, possibly involving her sucking a man off. She has never done this before as I don’t really like involving others in our relationship, but I do have a close male friend who is gay and knows about our FLR. He has often expressed an interest in having Michelle suck him off and it is a path I would like to take her down at some point, as I believe it is a skill all girls should learn.
Speaking from experience I think Michelle knows that this is a big step and is baulking. It is kindest to get her past this as quickly as possible, and she will find life easier doing what she’s told. The ‘punishment’ of sucking a cock is inspired and offers the chance of introducing blow job training. After a few weeks of that my resistance was broken and my first real cock seemed a natural thing to do. As I enjoyed his response I felt really good and my own parts became even more irrelevant.
This may seem harsh to her but, in the long time it really isn’t – just be aware that she may want to go further than you’d like later. My experiences helped me realise I was trans and, when my ex- emigrated, Natasha took over completely. I don’t think this is normal but it does occur.
My Best Wishes for a great life to you both.
Thank you for your input Natasha. I am not entirely sure what you mean by blow job training and that leading up to your first real cock. I can only assume you mean you practiced on a dildo first. In Michelle’s case this will not be necessary. Her view on giving blow jobs is that it would be a red line ‘No’, if she had the option of red line areas in our relationship. However, she does not have that choice. The dynamics of our relationship are simple. There are no red lines for her. The only decisions she makes are the ones I tell her to make and if I don’t like her decision on anything then I will over rule her. She does of course make decisions all the time. She plans her own days, chooses her own clothes, decides what to make for dinner and sets her own housework schedule. But it is all done within the boundaries I set her. Sometimes I change the boundaries to keep her on her toes, other times I can’t be bothered. Anyway, I digress, the point here is I have told her she will at some point be required to give a man a blow job, I consider it to be an essential part of being a girl. As a young girl I gave blow jobs to boyfriends because it was what was expected of me. I know my friends did too, some enjoyed it, I did not, but I continued to do it because it’s what girls do. I class Michelle as a girl so she too will give blow jobs. The fact she is dead set against it makes it a good opportunity to use it as a punishment, and as I have a willing volunteer it just makes sense to do this when I feel the time is right.
Thank You for the kind words Nicky.
Yes I was made to practice on a dildo before I performed on a real cock. Jo insisted that I learn the task in order to provide the best experience for my partner. Like you she thought it had to be a part of my life so that was that.
She also decided that I had to be good at it so I applied myself and have had no complaints at all. Michelle will just have to accept that it WILL happen and performing poorly will not be an option, the job of girls like us is to provide pleasure and get our satisfaction from doing that. When a guy has finished the look on his face is adorable and I honestly do enjoy giving them.
For her long term benefit you need her to get past this mental barrier so she can carry on developing, the sooner she accepts her reality the better she’ll feel. Jo was correct about me and I’m certain you are right about Michelle.
That all reads a little harshly but sometimes hearing it from another in the same situation is necessary. I’ve had to work up to make this post as it is completely alien for me to be assertive, I’m sure I’ll be taken to task when I tell Jo about this.
First, I love your blogs and – especially – your perspective on the proper way to run an FLR. I love that you take Alice’s viewpoints into your decision-making … but also love that it’s ultimately everything is your decision.
On chastity cages and ejaculation, however, you’ve missed the mark a bit with this latest post. Let me explain.
You wrote that a chastity cage was mainly for a sissy’s excitement. As a bonafide sissy with a (sometimes hesitant) Queen, I can tell you that the effects of a chastitiy cage go waaaay beyond any short-term sexual excitement. Yes, it was thrilling when my Queen first locked the cage. That took about 5 seconds. From there, the cage is kinda uncomfortable, to be honest. It pinches. It chafes. It makes simply peeing a little difficult. I leak. There is no long-term sexual excitement involved with a chastity cage.
But … the psychological effect on the male of a chastity cage is unmatched by anything I’ve experienced. Having a penis is synonymous with being a male. It’s THE defining part. Ask 100 people what makes a boy a boy and 99 will probably say: he has a penis. And having access to the penis is natural part of growing up. Masturbating is a natural part of sexual development and lasts through adulthood. (I’m almost 60.)
When you deny access – the simple pleasure of touching your own penis – you have created a psychological advantage that is both unique and powerful. Please don’t discount that as simply “sissy excitement.” You may not fully understand that as a female … but take it from a male that chastity cages are more than ornamental if used properly.
I understand you trust Alice. My own wife wants to trust me. But I could easily get up in the middle of the night, rub one out, and still show turgidness the next morning. Would my attitude slip? Absolutely. For a couple of days, in fact. But I could still be hard even as a senior. My recovery, from a phsycial standpoint, is pretty quick.
I don’t enjoy that, however. I DO enjoy the perputual horniness that comes with being denied. It makes me far more attentive and takes a huge cut off my maleness. It makes me less agressive and far more submissive.. But, I’m a guy. And sometimes – given too much freedom – I can’t help myself. All to say, everyone benefits from a chastity cage and mistresses can help their subs from themselves with at least a discrete use of a chastity cage. (I wear one at night when I’m most vulnerable, for example.) Plus, you would gain a unmatched and unequalled psychological advantage. It’s a constant reminder of who owns what in the relationship.
On ejaculation, you wrote that if Alice could orgasm without release, you’d be fine. Sorry, but that violates the basic principles of anatomy. For a male, orgasms equal ejaculation. There’s no way to orgasm without making a mess.
I’m not at all suggesting you allow an orgasm. As a guy in a committed FLR, you definitely should not. There’s no reason for Alice to have an orgasm. But there’s no way for her to orgasm without making a mess. (And a “ruined” orgasm isn’t really an orgasm at all for the male. Without the physical stimulation at the end, you simply clean the balls out. Not necessary as everything would be re-asorped anyway. But there is a difference. For the male, orgasm equals cum … but cumming does not necessarily equal orgasm.)
Thank you again for all of your blogs and your writing. If everyone would adopt a matriarchical lifestyle, the world would be so much better!
Hello Felicia and I’m pleased you enjoy my blogs. However… I have not missed the mark on chastity cages and you helped to make my point for me. Let me quote you back: It was thrilling when my Queen first locked the cage …a chastity cage is unmatched by anything I’ve experienced. …I DO enjoy the perputual horniness that comes with being denied …mistresses can help their subs…take it from a male that chastity cages are more than ornamental…
I could go on but I think you get my point, this is about you as a male, there is zero reference to what the supposed ‘Queen’ wants or gets from a male chastity cage. My blog is written from a female perspective and for me an FLR is not about a male’s needs beyond the desire and agreement to give the female full leadership, trusting her completely and the male’s enjoyment of giving full control of every aspect of the relationship over to her, whatever that may be since he has full trust in her. But she has full trust in him too, including him not ‘rubbing one out’. That’s not an FLR, that’s deception.
So, an FLR is about the female’s desires and I can tell you we females get nothing from our man being in a chastity cage. I can also tell you the mistresses I know all feel the same. They allow their ‘subs’ to wear a cage because their sissy wants it and it makes little difference to them one way or the other.
Finally there are several ways for a male to orgasm without ejaculating. Some are medical consequences (prostate surgery etc.) but there are also techniques to achieve orgasm without release. It’s also called Semen Retention or Seminal Conservation. It’s practised as part of several techniques including Tantric Sex, Taoism, Karezza and Maithuna, the last of which is essentially what we now practise but without male orgasm. All are linked to some extent. My point was that Alice needs to put in the work required to learn how to dry orgasm and it takes a lot of effort and practice. It’s her choice but as long as she does not discharge it would be fine.
I know none of this is what many sissies want to hear but this is how it is.
Ok. Interesting. Yes dontlove the sheath or dildo either but it works. I’m just a year or so into this, enjoying the control and freedom. The oral is amazing and often and lasts as long as I wish!! Every day with few exceptions. I do have a bull for real feel as well. Enjoying your site though. Thank you
Lady Alexa,
I believe you and Alice have the opportunity to write the definitive text on establishing and managing a Female Led Relationship. Your autobiography would be an important contribution to society’s understanding and knowledge of what is currently, we must admit, a niche philosophy.
I think it should be a joint effort by both you and Alice so that the full range of both’s knowledge, experience and feelings can be explored. To be honest Alice’s voice in all this has only once to my knowledge been heard and she has a considerable contribution to make.
In addition, it would be a fascinating read, a guide for those interested in pursuing the lifestyle and maybe even a best seller!
I did write How I Feminised My Husband a few years ago and then wrote Feminized by my Wife based on Alice’s viewpoint, so the feminisation aspect and a little on FLR is already in print and avaiable to buy although I guess there have been recent developments. Nearly all the material out there on FLRs is from a male viewpoint so I prefer to use my blog and books to consider things from the female side, which is far less common.
So for example, this post about Sissy Mess is probably not too popular with males as although they like to be locked away, even restricted a little, this is a game for them and they really do not want to be stopped from cumming for too long. Whereas from a woman’s perspective a cock cage does nothing for us and male cum is an unattractive outcome – a nasty mess. So in a real FLR, where the woman is really in charge, I can do something about this.
Would it be possible to have Alice’s input to your decision please Lady Alexa? Her reaction when you informed her of you’re decision and how she has handled it since would be really interesting
This is a good idea, I’ll put that in my next post
So what is sex like? I use a sleeve on my husband to prevent ejaculation or a strapon. I still alow ejaculation afterward sometimes. I’m just afraid he wouldn’t be able to serve me over a few minutes at a time, he’d have to stop your way. With the sheath there is no imit. I also love controlling the key. We’re up to a month or more between reeases now…but it does affect his attitude for a day or so afterward.
I don’t like a sheath, I like to feel skin on skin. I also don’t want that attitude change anymore, even for a day or so.
Sex is better for me as it’s more regular because he no longer suffers from that older male ‘recovery time’ after ejaculation now I’ve stopped that happening. My husband spends much more time on me before the main act, making sure I’m fully satisfied.
He’s not 21 anymore so takes longer anyway before reaching that point where he has to stop or be stopped, even after several month’s denial of climax. Usually I’ll be on top so I can control things just in case. I haven’t timed how long before we have to take a calm down, but it seems fine. We often start up again once he’s calmed and off the boiling point, so in total the actual act might be longer overall if this happens two or three times. But remember, he will already have seen to my satisfaction earlier although I expect more at this stage too.
The sissy juice that would have been discharged gets absorbed by the body afterwards, acording to my research, and released through other excretions so it’s not as if his balls are like footballs and he’s waiting to explode. The messy stuff has all gone away.