In the past, I wasn’t keen on locking my sissy husband into a chastity cage. I had two main reasons for this. Firstly, I liked access to her little bits as I love to play with them and to tease her. Secondly, I have a view, that I haven’t changed, that sissies often prefer chastity cages more than their mistresses. That put me off.
However, my views have developed over time with changes to our FLR and I now like to lock my sissy away. Here’s what changed.
Our original FLR
Until around 2 or 3 years ago, I rarely locked my sissy husband’s little clitty away. We had experimented with chastity cages and we tried them on and off for years without finding them useful. Sissies love them, but I had yet to see a benefit for me.
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Any FLR has to be for the benefit of the Mistress and it is not purely for the excitement of her sissy. Being highly sexed, I expected Girl to perform and I did not want to spend time fiddling with a cage. I loved to keep her exposed around the house for my pleasure and I loved to play around with her little clitty. I like to see her display of desire with an erection.
Since Girl needed to be ready for me, she was not going to play with herself. Any failure to perform would give the game away and she’d be punished so a cage wasn’t necessary. Then things began to change.
Orgasm denial
A couple of years ago, I began a new approach in our FLR: denying Girl’s orgasms. I’ve written about this subject a lot – Orgasms Are For Women, Sissy Mess Prevention and The Orgasm Gap to name just three posts. You can read in more detail on those articles but, in short, preventing my sissy an orgasm improves her submission, improves her readiness to perform for me, removes nasty sissy messes from sex and cements my control in our relationship.
I milk her in case a lack of ejaculations causes Girl any prostate health issues. I’m not a doctor so this is just to be sure as websites on ejaculation denial differ in their answer to this. I always deny her orgasm as this is purely a mechanical health milking, not sexual relief. To be clear, she is no longer permitted an orgasm but I do remove her sissy mess regularly.
The obvious issue here is that orgasm denial does not relieve any sexual tension. I can no longer completely trust her to not play with herself when I’m not at home. I’m often not at home so there is a risk. I know she wants to comply with my no-touching rule but a sissy who hasn’t orgasmed for a long time will be tempted.
A chastity cage has become a necessity for those times I’m not there to control her. But this has led to other ideas.
Changing clitty size
I’ve always liked the idea of reducing the size of Girl’s clitty to make it more feminine. It’s not massive anyway, maybe 3 or 4 inches flaccid, but smaller would be more feminine and cute. I’d like it to be cuter.
We recently had my Mistress friend, who lives nearby, and her submissive around for the evening. We first met through X when I spotted she lives nearby and I messaged her. Here’s her link if you’d like to read more. She runs a great X page and is very experienced – FLR Mistress and Her Submissive.
We got talking about our submissive’s clitty sizes as she complained her sissy’s was not very long. It’s why she locks him away and dates other men. So we measured our sissy’s clitties and Girl’s was longer which was disappointing for me. That said, her sissy had a bigger girth so I suppose it was a draw.
Anyway, I got to think that if Girl’s little worm-like clitty could be reduced in length, it would be incredibly cute. The girth is already not big. So, I’ve put her in a 1.5 inch long cage that she wears almost permanently now. My goal is to atrophy it to 1.5 inches. I suspect I’ll need an even small cage for her as it shrinks but squeezing 3 or 4 inches into 1.5 should make a difference over time.
Maybe if I can get it to 1.5 inches, I’ll buy her a flat or inverted cage and try to take it down to 0.5 of an inch. Let’s see what’s possible but I like the idea, especially as I’m taking our FLR in new directions. Girl’s clitty become superfluous apart from looking cute.
It is surprisingly easy to squeeze her longer clitty into a smaller length tube as her clitty appears to go back into her body. She says it’s perfectly comfortable. I took a photo to show how it all fits in nicely.
You’ll see she has a very nice pubic triangle that I will try to hget made permanent this year by having the hairs around it removed so she always has the female triangle. I prefer this look to smooth.
And this all led to the next change that’s coming.
The Cuckold Question
So Girl has a small clitty with a small girth but I want the enjoyment of a big one. I put up with this for years but I don’t want to much more. Since hers is pretty ineffective due to its size, I might as well shrink it to be more feminine and cuter. I can always find someone with a big one to satisfy me. In fact, I may as well leave Girl locked far more often and not just for when I go out.
Girl’s penetration days will be coming to an end in the near future. Whilst I will expect her to continue to have sexual relationships with other sissies, my thinking is they will be confined to her giving blow jobs to sissies. She’ll remain locked.
I continue to use her for my satisfaction for now but she’s often locked so she has to use other methods. I think it will help her being locked away as she won’t have to stop when on the brink of orgasm. Things will become easier for her without that pressure.
Chastity cages
Wearing a chastity cage is becoming the way forward for Girl. She accepts and understands my reasoning but then again, she has little choice. As with orgasm denial, she accepts and lives with my needs and believes that my needs must always be the priority.
She wouldn’t wear a cage if she was not with me, she says, but it gives her great pleasure to make me happy knowing I want her locked away. Cuckolding will be a big step for her although she has already seen me play around with a sissy’s massive clitty and understands my excitement at this idea.
As ever, I love to hear your views and opinions in the comments.
My female name is Erica, we are relocating in around six weeks to a completely new area, I want my wife to take a whole new level of control, we have played with chastity, but she likes to play with me and so hasn’t kept me locked for long periods. She prefers me wearing female clothing, and insists I do so indoors; however I would like her to become far more assertive and force feminise me, denying me access to my male clothes, and also increasing the duration of me being locked. My comment is, how can I persuade her?
I wish I had a penny for every time someone asked that that
I have had my sissy caged for a couple of years now, I can say she went from average size hard not so big flaccid to now in a metal barcage that is 1/2 inch long, the whole cage with base ring might be 1 1/2 inches from back of ring to end of cage. It does reduce the size at least with my sissy.
i have been caged 24/7 for 5 years. Shrunk to less than 2 inches, erections no longer occur. But still have an ejaculation when a strong vibration is applied to my silicone pink chastity unit by my S/O. Orgasm occurs monthly in under 30 seconds.
That sounds all correct except the orgasms. I should have a word with your mistress to stop all the orgasm nonsense
Yes I reallylike the ida of shrinking her little thing. But, I do love to play with it. I have my own live sex toy to do with as I please. And I please.
Oh I do take her out of cage to play with it as well, with hands restrined of course! Nothing like a frustrated sissy denied a realease that they so desire!
Yes, playing with it but not allowing her to cum is so funny
To Lady Alexa and other ladies, i appreciate these comments and ideas. i am a secret sissy, for the most part, in a relationship with a great woman who doesn’t know of my interest here. Which only adds to my shame. The idea of being caged, and subsequently reduced, used to seem like a silly joke to me. My long time exploration of my sissy nature, which i can still barely admit, has led to my fascination for FLR, feminization, sissification, chastity, and even cuckolding. Sometimes my maleness is almost a mystery to me, and my femaleness and femininity more natural, though rarely outwardly expressed these days. Thanks, sissy jacki
Hi, this is after reading Cindy’s comments. I’m a closeted sissy, with training in the past from Domme Women. The ideas of chastity, milking, public humiliation, feminization, and submissiveness are all so shameful to me, yet so exciting. I may never understand why I have the persona, however mostly hidden, of a sissy. To be a sissy with a woman, even perhaps as a maid, or to a group of women at times. To be paired with another sissy, or given to a strong, masculine man. All while being feminine and submissive. All this makes me ache with desire and feel like crying. A sissy is a pathetic, foolish, sensitive creature.
Lady Alexa,
I enjoy reading your blog. A few thoughts or ideas concerning girl:
The more excited she is….the more frustration being completely milked dry will be. You may find that you being deliberately provocative as possible rather than being clinical with mask and gloves might provide you with more control and enjoyment through additional stimulation and then denial of her orgasm. Shaming girl by making her beg for her milking and to be penetrated will also be exciting yet embarrassing for her. Requiring her to be limp or stopping during milking would be useful training. Making her beg and agree to milking with other females watching or participating would be even more humiliating. If you have not pushed her soft clitty back into her body then fingered her as a woman would, that is erotic and stimulating too without enough stimulation usually to orgasm. The ultimate humiliation and embarrassment would be coercing her to beg for a public milking and agreeing to lick all her oozing at the end from a plate or dildo while other femdom ladies watched.
Just some fun ideas for consideration for you or other readers.
Thanks for an interesting blog!
Cindy
My husband has been locked in a chastity cage for over a year. I made the decision then that his penis would not be used for sexual purposes, so there was no need for him to achieve an erection or be touched at all. As a result of long-term, constant confinement and lack of erection, my husband’s penis has significantly decreased in size. It is currently locked in a tube 26 mm (1 inch) long, so it is cutely tiny. I would like it to be locked in a tube max 15 mm or maybe even 10 mm. I love taking him to the sauna and showing him what real penises look like 😉 My husband will no longer experience penetrative sex with his penis and will not experience sex with a woman. That’s decided. I want him to only service men. I also allow him to ejaculate. A piece of his penis skin sticks out of the cage he wears. It looks more like a clitoris. By rubbing this skin as you would a clitoris, you can make him ejaculate. I really like it when he rubs like that trying to ejaculate or when another submissive man licks his clitoris 😉
Very nice Nel. I don’t like my husband ejaculating but otherwise, this sounds like fun
My husband has been locked in a chastity cage for over a year. I made the decision then that his penis would not be used for sexual purposes, so there was no need for him to achieve an erection or be touched at all. As a result of long-term, constant confinement and lack of erection, my husband’s penis has significantly decreased in size. It is currently locked in a tube 26 mm (1 inch) long, so it is cutely tiny. I would like it to be locked in a tube max 15 mm or maybe even 10 mm (less than 0,5 inch). I love taking him to the sauna and showing him what real penises look like 😉 My husband will no longer experience penetrative sex with his penis and will not experience sex with a woman. That’s decided. I want him to only service men. I also allow him to ejaculate. A piece of his penis skin sticks out of the cage he wears. It looks more like a clitoris. By rubbing this skin as you would a clitoris, you can make him ejaculate. I really like it when he rubs like that trying to ejaculate or when another submissive man licks his clitoris 😉
Thank you so much for another enlightening addition to Your blog Lady Alexa.
I hope you wouldnt mind indulging my thoughts on chastity as I have a reasonable amount of experience on this now.. I am currently just into my 4th year of 24/7 chastity (minus those weekly cleaning moments).
I have probably told you before that I, like girl, I was a ‘normal bloke’ with usual desires and fantasies but who had dabbled with dressing in my teens but then stopped at Uni etc. In later years I became interested in chastity having read a number of accounts of it and bought my first chastity cage 10 years or so. It transformed me! Paradoxically it unlocked my femme /sub side – the latter of which I knew was always there, but the femme side, well it just blossomed once I denied use of my ‘clitty’. Initially this was a shared experience with my partner but eventually she got bored, even though she was having constant attention from me. At the time I wrote elsewhere on the changes in my psyche:
“The first 5 days for me are the hardest…frequent intense… but stunted erections ..especially in the mornings, during which one wants to break the cage open. The frustration is at a max about 4 days i feel and leakage occurs…..
After that there is a calming phase… where one’s body and mind begins to reassess the situation….and over the next week or two the intense painful morning reminders become less but dont disappear… and there are increased levels of self control when tightness in the cage starts….
It is after this period from 3-4 weeks on…that i find that a greater calm and acceptance of the situation. This is associated with a desire to please…especially around the house..its bizarre but i find myself helping out with chores and general housework more than normal. i also become less argumentative and understanding of others…this probably plateaus after a couple of months (my longest period in one go at the time of writing was just over 3 months). My desire to please ensures that whilst i have none..my partner has multiple orgasms on a daily basis… i’ve noticed too that more dreams are sexual and femme orientated.
i have also noticed that my latent feminine feelings become far more pronounced to the point that i throw away many of my male thoughts and love my femme side… and develop more of the sub personality… i would never have believed that before discovering chastity a couple of years ago…but for me it is true… and i have come to love it..as it has shaped the way i’ve been over the last year or so… the other me.”
Since then I have become, what can only be described as, obsessed with chastity – you note that sissies do love it..and I am such an example. I feel naked without my cages during the few minutes I allow myself for cleaning each week. Sadly my partner no longer engages in any sexual activity and got bored and focussed with other things. I certainly feel that, even though you already have a compliant Girl, the use of long term chastity will definitely enhance her submissive and femme side and it is true that total denial of an orgasm keeps one on a constant high..desperate, frustrated but so horny and eager to please.
I would like to make a few comments on your hopes.
Size – I can honestly say that over the years (not months!), my penis has become more of a clitty… its size has definitely decreased – I was not large at the best of times – what many would caller a ‘grow-er’ and not a ‘show-er’, collapsing to perhaps 2-3″ after a 6″ erection. Nowadays I am in the 1 1/2″ range in most circumstances when the cage is off for cleaning, and if there is any stirring there, it is nowhere near the size it was before – and it has difficulty straightening upwards and almost feels painful at engorgement. I dont bother pursuing it these days. You would be surprised how easily it is to squeeze it into the smallest of cages now including the inverted style of cage you mention. I would however state that for longer term use the latter is not particularly suitable, mainly for hygiene reasons as urinary stagnation in the cage is common and presents an infection risk in my view.. The flat and inverted cages are however ideal for short periods (I have worn 24-48 hours) especially when ‘on show’ eg at a party etc.
Security – contrary to what some believe, not all cages are secure… I have tried numerous – probably over 20 types, and the majority are ‘escapable’ – even if not removable. The pic you showed of Girls cage, I would include in that category – when flaccid it is possible to slip out…especially in the bath! Temptation abounds! The only total security method is a PA lock through the piercing in my view, although I am not pierced at all but have found a few cages that are really difficult/painful, or difficult to get back into, of which I would say my (pink) Holy Trainer”NUB'” is the favourite. I wear it constantly, am comfortable in it and it is virtually impossible to slip out of.
Smooth or Triangle – I am smooth all over as much as possible – I dont shave though but pluck individual hairs out down there – something that is no longer painful to do after years of doing it. I tried an epilator once over the area – it was fine on the pubes…but I mad a mistake of wandering off course over my ball sac… carnage ensued with blood and ripped skin! Lesson learned!
Cuck – I cannot really comment from experience, sadly, but as time has gone on and I have accepted this is what I am, I went through a phase…and still am if honest, of realising that in this state I could not satisfy my partner and wanted her to enjoy experiences that I could not deliver. I tentatively suggested but this met a brick wall. I know it must be incredibly humiliating and probably extremely likely to produce strong jealousy and possibly anger and helplessness, but the sissy in me is very excited at the prospect…to the point of wanting to help out… I know I will be reading avidly of any of your forthcoming dalliances and living vicariously through your Girls world!!
I hope this was some use – feel free to ask more as I have lots more to say about something that I know will keep Girl in her place… a place that we sissies know is best for us!!
Thank you for sharing your experiences of cages, Jane. We’re struggling with the latest cage. As you say, the cage is escapable even though it’s small. It’s also not easy for her to pee nor is it suitable for too long so it’s all back to the drawing board. We have always had problems with cages for one reason or the other and I eventually get fed up with the fuss which is where I’m getting to again.
aw…thats a shame… peeing can be messy which is why we ave to sit down to pee… reinforcing that femme thing!..
Persistence is required though!…I tried a multitude of cages before settling down to my current one(s).. 🙂
Yes, I liked the fact the cage forced her to sit down. I could never be sure she did that when I wasnt around. But peeing was too messy and some could remin trapped in the cage so it all became too difficult. Maybe the cage was too small.
Dear Lady Alexa
So nice to hear about Your use of chastity for girl. my Mistress caged me and fed me feminisers, She adored how my little clit looked, so small and cute.
She used to take pictures of it, looking cute.
Over time, and increased caging, eventually She bought me a flat cage – a ‘flat Gatling’, reducing my size even further.
i am now a one inch girl, and so much better for it.
Now my focus is on Mistress, which benefits both of us.
i did like Your trimming of girl into a nice pubic triangle, so feminine. Unfortunately my Mistress prefers smooth, so i am now smooth and tiny.
It was lovely to hear You comment on this subject.
Yours pantifully, julie
My FLR has developed over time. Chastity works now at this stage.
Dear lady Alexa
This sounds like a great step forward, Clitty shrinkage should help Girl recognise that if she wants your happiness then you cuckolding her with a much larger and thicker clitty is a natural next step. Yes it is a big challenge particularly emotionally, but a sissy’s love and desire for her Mistress’ happiness and pleasure should enable Girl to overcome this.
Ultimately this should be fulfilling for both of you one that is exquisitely humiliating for Girl but satisfying for you. Cuckolding can strength the love between you as Girl embraces her sissy nature, recognises her shrunken Clitty is worthless for penetrative sex, focusses on being cute and pretty and in a need to please you accepts and indeed craves to be cuckolded regularly as she wants only your happiness.
I hope you and Girl fulfill your desires
Yes I think that’s the way things will go. I think people misunderstand cuckolding. It’s not about love it’s about sexual satisfaction and the sissy being pleased that the mistress has that pleasure.
Lady Alexa
You may find Girl might experience discharges or wet dreams occasionally in the cage. Since Girl and I seem to be at the same place as far as orgasms, or lack of them, that is a possibility. I get them. I think at least for me it’s the erotic aspect of wearing a cage itself which is a turn on, as well as not wearing a cage sometimes but going through the motions during sexual intimacy. My wife realizes such accidents are going to happen and are typically involuntary.
OK. NO problem so far but I’ll bear it in mind
In response to Will’s question.
i wear a pink chastity unit on my small 1.5 inch clitty. There is a hole to urinate through on the end, but my owner/wife has me wear an external condom catheter on my clit. Its the same as a rubber but has an adhesive on it and also a small tube on the end to attach to a catheter bag tube. We don’t use the bag, so the tube just sticks out of the chastity unit about two inches. therefore, when i urinate the urine goes out the end of the tube into the toilet while i am sitting on it. So, there is no residual urine in the chastity device and no washing out of it is needed. We find the external catheter condom very convenient, and it also has a humiliating aspect to it also.
Never thought of that
In response to Will’s question.
i wear a pink chastity unit on my small 1.5 inch clitty. There is a hole to urinate through on the end, but my owner/wife has me wear a external condom catheter on my clit. Its the same as a rubber but has an adhesive on it and also a small tube on the end to attach to a catheter bag tube. We don’t use the bag, so the tube just sticks out of the chastity unit about two inches. therefore, when i urinate the urine goes out the end of the tube into the toilet while i am sitting on it. So there is no residual urine in the chastity device and no washing out of it is needed. We find the external catheter condom very convenient, and it also has a humiliating aspect to it also.
I have a question that should probably be addressed by Girl. If the 3 or 4 inch penis is now being squeezed into a 1.5 inch cage does it have any impact on his ability to urinate comfortably, or does it pose problems? I’m just curious as we are considering a chastity device.
Yes urination is not so easy she’s found
Well, if you don’t want him to ejaculate ever again, you should have his prostate removed as it’s only purpose is wait around to get infected, or develop prostate cancer. Yo can take the prostate and place it in a sealed glass container of formaldehyde and place on the mantle above the fireplace where it can be a source of humiliation for her.
I don’t want him to orgasm ever again as that’s the main problem that causes loss of submission and interest for a while. Regular milking fixes any problems of prostate health with a ruined orgasm and I do it with gloves, mask and apron
Locked away, is his morning wood strangling his penis and and it is slowly dieing?
Maybe, early days
Hi
When you do milk her for health reasons; what is done with the ejaculate? have you considered making her consume it? To get used to giving blow jobs?
Does her cage allow her to pee freely?
Has she ever complained about lack of penetration, orgasm or discomfort on wearing her cage? How do you discipline her? Has the need to impose punishment & discipline reduced as she embraces her new life with greater enthusiasm?
love
Natasha
I make her catch it in a tissue and I step back to leave her to clean up and dispose of it.
Peeing is proving to be a bit of a problem yes.
She complains about discomfort not lack of penetration or orgasm. She’d like penetration and orgasm but understands my needs and wants are paramount.
Dear Lady Alexa
I’ve commented before on this subject. I’ve been locked up for over 10 years now. My sissy clitty is virtually none existent now. When my cage is removed for cleaning there is only a foreskin to be seen. Being so small it’s difficult to lock me in the usual cage that secures around the testicles. So, I have a piercing in my clitty so the very small cage can be locked directly on to it. I’m now unable to get an erection and can’t cum anymore. I can have an orgasm of sorts, but there is no mess with it. It’s been 3 years now since I had anything like a male orgasm, what I feel now is what mistress calls a sissygasm. To achieve this two fingers are inserted into my foreskin to massage my clitty until I get my sissygasm. This happens about once a month.
Yours respectfully
Janet
I like the idea of my sissy wanting to orgasm but isn’t allowed
Lady Alexa
I hope this is not a duplicate comment.
That desire you mention of not being allowed to orgasm was only a temporary desire of my wife and Keyholder in our kinky chastity experiment. I think she was surprised and perhaps delighted when denial of orgasm relief became the norm I preferred. So ruined orgasms are a needed part of it all.
I wonder if Girl may grow to prefer the denial play? But better yet, I think there’s been actual positive benefits. Aside from the titillating parts of the comments readers make, I would add that for me this is probably equal to an extreme practice of semen retention. I have found I have more energy, work in a more focused manner, I’m more cooperative, calmer and more respectful of a dominant wife. I’ve also been more creative in an art past time I pursue but prefer not to elaborate on. Then there’s the fact that being happy from intimacy adds to one’s well being. Girl may experience some of the benefits.
I mentioned in an older post that I’ve seen many positive benefits of Girl’s orgasm denial. The benefits are as you describe but also better skin and hair. My preference would be for her to practise complete semen retention and this is how I started. I researched online to check for health issues and things are not clear. Some sites say it’s beneficial for a biological male to never cum but others warn of potential harm to the prostate. To be sure, I milk her once a month with a ruined orgasm. Not ideal but I don’t want her to suffer any health problems. So I¡m not taking the risk.
Lady Alexa
You must admit it’s got to be a tremendous level of frustration for Girl to really want an orgasm and not be allowed, which I guess occurs regularly. My wife is impressed that I don’t orgasm when we are intimate (She relieves my prostate with a ruined cum at a later time). I get very close. My wife says that with what feelings she experiences when she’s about to orgasm, she doesn’t know how I can avoid it. I’m betting the same would probably apply to Girl.
Girl has some level of frustration at not being allowed to orgasm but that is balanced by her enyoyment of me controlling her and humiliating her by teasing her about not being allowed to orgasm. She also reports that by taking her to the point of orgasm and stopping is sexually exciting and fulfilling in a different way.
Lady Alexa
Verbal teasing can be very effective. It’s another kink I enjoy from time to time. It’s usually about not cumming like a real man when my wife and I are intimate, but preferring ruined orgasms instead. Verbal teasing is great for roll play.
Dear Lady Alexa
Your approach to your girls sex and expectations of future sex life are perfectly acceptable and normal for such a relationship as yours.
She will become far more useful and accepting for her if sex own sex is effectively deleted.
My own as atrophied over the years, details of device I aware are on X https://x.com/sillymaid and on Fetlife https://fetlife.com/users/459777
Thank you sweetie
Do you think you may consider castration in the future. With the testicles removed and a tiny clitty she would look so much more girly. And of course the humiliation would be extreme.
I do not consider castration.
Lady Alexa
I hope Girl quickly gets used to the devices you purchased. When my wife and I began just casually playing with chastity and short term denial, the cage I wore was more a temporary sex toy. Now, at the more extreme end at permanent denial, though consensual, it’s a must for me to wear one. Temptation is just too great. I presume Girl is younger (we’re in our mid 50s). If so, it’s incredibly impressive she was able to control herself. Devices can also be good reminders about avoiding self gratification.
Girl is older.
Do you still have uses for her fully-functioning vestige of her former gender?
Yes. You should read my other posts
Dear Lady Alexa, i read your post with great interest. i am more or less a secret sissy, with minimal interactions with others, mostly in the past or on line. i think there is often a sort of progression for a sissy, and for her Mistress or Master if she has one. I know that while I used to wish that my parts were bigger, down there, i now often imagine it smaller. Sometimes i even think it is smaller, and wonder if my evolving sissy consciousness has actually caused that, or if it is my imagination, or time and age. i have some pictures in which my sissy clit looks very small and i love it. Of course there are levels of shame and embarrassment that i feel at times. Even just thinking of myself as a sissy brings those feelings up. Wishing you and Girl the best, jacki
Yes it’s been a progression
Wonderful post, Lady Alexa. It’s refreshing to see the subject of chastity explored from the Dominant Woman’s perspective . . . what it does for her, as opposed to what her submissive.
Yes, it’s all too often what a sissy wants and not how a Mistress thinks. Our case is a little different as my sissy has never been keen on a cage so that makes it more interesting for me.